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I'm a girl and I think I like my best friend (girl) help!


ChelseaClarke

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I've never looked at a girl and been sexually attracted to them, I only find boys attractive. I wouldn't look twice at a girl who's 'good looking' but I've been friends with this girl for 6months and we're really close, she's a year older than me & we speak every day. I get this weird feeling when I'm around her like i'd feel if I liked a boy? We always tell eachother we love eachother, we text all the time. I always just want to 'cuddle' with her but I don't feel as though I want to do anything sexual with her or anything? Could I like her as in more than a friend or is this just common with best friends? She also admitted to being jealous in two occassions where I was talking to my boy mates, but she also gets jealous when I speak to my girl mates? Not in a possesive way she never makes a big deal over it, but could she like me too? I'm really confused, do I tell her?

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Its perfectly ok for you to love yourself for loving girls and you do not have to be ashamed of it, however society or your family may not be so willing to accept it. My suggestion is to keep it in secrecy until you are ready to come more out in the open for it. There's a bisexual,lesbian,gay forum in here as well, i suggest you ask for advice to them on how they'd handled it.

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It could also be puberty, trying new things, not being sure about stuff...adolescence? Don't stress, it's normal. Sometimes it just happens. Unless it happens for a longer period and you start to get really attached...you're fine! Check the forums for more info, but I believe that you need to take it lightely, and with no rush

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I'm the first to admit that when I was a senior in high school, I developed a crush on my best friend. I wanted to snuggle with her and even kiss her. Now, 25 years later, I can honestly say I've never had those feelings again for a female, even for her. I don't know what it was about, and probably never will.

 

No, please don't tell her. If you're attracted to guys but this is one of those weird things, let it go. It will fade eventually.

 

Don't feel stress or shame, like I said, it happened to me and it's NEVER happened again.

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I had this ONE experience with my best friend, we were 14, travelling together and sleeping on the same bed, so we cuddled for a whole night, and it felt a little different, as if there was more supposed to happen (we didn't even kiss). never again, with no other female.

 

puberty is a good explanation to that, your hormones are bubbling up, and all. jealousy is common between friends, even more close ones that speak everyday about everything - it starts feeling like you owe each other emotional loyalty. and yeah, probably she is just as confused as you are (many years later me and my friend spoke about what happened and we both agreed it was just a funny teenager moment to be laughed at - she's engaged now, and I'm still looking for MR. Right).

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  • 3 months later...

hello..! great that i found this forum.. i have the same situation now.. i am 26 years old and have a boyfriend for 3 years.. now i am away from him coz of work. then i met this girl, she's 30 y/o (co-work) and she bacame my best friend..she is very nice to me, she makes me laugh and i tolerate her mood swings and i care for her a lot. i love being with her all the time, and i almost forgot to text/call my boyfriend because i am always with her. we enjoy each other's company.. we share secrets and all. she also have her boyfriend but like me, she is far away because of work... now my problem is, am i already a lesbian? because i care for her so much, and i can't remove her in my mind.. i want to be with her, even become her room mate.. we always hugged each other and kiss on cheeks as a friendly guise only and i makes me happy everytime she kisses me.. i find my feeling weird, never felt it before.. i cannot and do not want to accept the fact that i will be in love with her, but am i already a lesbian with this? i do not want to tell her because i don't want to lose her (she might become angry or ashame of me if i will tell her what i feel)... thank you guys and please i need your response or any reaction regarding this matter

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey there, just wanted to share a similar experience of mine. I'm 16 and I've been friends with this one girl in my life for almost 7 years. She is three years younger than me and is 13 years old. Starting this past March, I've been beginning to have feelings for her. It's just keeps building up and I'm pretty sure it's a crush as this point. I just feel good when I'm around her. She's really hilarious and fun to be around, and I always become sad when I can't see or talk to her. She may be 13, but she's extremely mature for her age (in some ways). I get excited when she's comments on something or likes my status on Facebook, as well as when she talks to me on Twitter. I'm not sure what to do with this whole thing, but I just love her. I just want to cuddle with her and kiss her and stuff, but nothing really that sexual. I honestly just want to be with her forever. What should I do?

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I can't really help you but I am actually experimenting the same thing as you and I am not sure what it means...I am 38, married with children and my best friend is 40, married with children also. We've known each other for 2 years now and are really close (we see each other every day). This summer, I am away for 2 months and I miss her so much. We text each other a lot, email each other and today did the webcam for the first time. Not even 1 hour after the video call, she texted to say she was going to come with her kids to see us (me, hubby and kids). I am really excited and reacting like a teenager whose boyfriend has just called. And that is my problem: I am not feeling sexually atracted to her but I really miss her and want to be with her all the time. I had big butterflies in my stomach when she called me to say she was coming. I keep thinking about her all the time and can't wait for her to be there. At the same time, what should I do when she is here ? tell her what I feel or keep quiet ? probably the latter...

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  • 1 month later...

i'm a girl and i like my girl friend. i already told her about it and she said it's okay. until now we're still friends and we're going strong. for me it's better to tell her because i don't want to be unfair.everybody knows that i'm not that open with things like these but i ate all the courage to tell her. note: i only knew her for 2 years and just had crush on her this august.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I am 28 now. But all that you've said I have felt with my best friend when I was 21. The feeling didn't fade away till last year. Sometimes it was torture because I honestly believed i was lesbian and knew I couldn't tell her. She was the only one I could relate to, talk to, tell her my dreams and we had all that history together. We had a 10 years worth of friendship inside jokes. When it came to guys she dated I couldn't stand it when one would get close to her. I always kept my cool though. She would express a similar love toward me and sometimes that made my torture even worse. However, one day as a I sat there thinking about telling her and I thought... if I had it my way... and I went and confessed my love for her and she would actually say she felt the same way.... then what? Then there is no happy ending. That's what! We were not about to embrace a gay lifestyle because it would mean it would destroy all of our hopes and dreams for both of us. Just to fulfill a fantasy?!!! I don't think so. So I got over it. It wasn't easy and it took a while but, then I figured something else out. We don't fall in love with people because they are male or female we fall in love with them because of who they are and how much time we invest in them, and then we decide to be with them because of what future we can have with them. My friend and I still have a wonderful friendship that fortunately I didn't ruin and she is now married and I am engaged to a wonderful guy. It's one time thing girly. Just let it go and you'll save yourself years of confusion and mental anguish. Trust me

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Thunderchic. after reading your post, it makes me smile, coz we have the same situation.. she has her bf now, and i really get jealous of him! she even noticing it, and joking me if i a jealous of her bf! she even told me that if things wont work out for our partners (we both have our bfs but we are far away with them), and if ever someday we would have our own kids, we could be together instead of our partners! because we really jive and get well very much.. i dont want to tell her what i really feel deep inside. i mean i am very vocal and i show her how much i love her, but i dont wanna tell is, that i love her with all of my heart, i love her more than my bf now! that is damn bad, i know.. and i am hurt everytime her feelings is hurt by her bfs and past bfs.. maybe i should leave things this way.. not to complicate it more..anyway she is always beside me (literally! coz we are working in the same place).. maybe someday, we would still be besties, bffs, bestest friends..

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  • 5 weeks later...

so here goes ive recently been hanging out with a friend and shes a girl and i realized i actually really like her , but she has an i don't care attitude which tends to piss me off all the time but shes really nice and all .. and i try to let go of the feelings cause it weird i have feelings for a girl and shes a girl also and she keeps getting all clingy and all and it makes matters worse cause my heart actually beats real fast when shes around and when she hugs me and all that and i really don't know what to do .... we are really close and im so scared don't wanna mess things up with her.

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  • 3 weeks later...

That Happened to me, too. I was bff's with my bff for more than a year now, and were 12 and we both figured out were bisexual. She told me she had a crush on a girl and guy, and after she told me that she kept on wanting to touch my breasts (not the rapist way) and wanted to get closer to me. One time, during recess (hahaha keep laughing, grown-ups) it was freezing outside so she told us to scoot in closer (therewas like 5 of us and I was infront of her) and she kept onnwanting me to scoot closer too her! so,I will tell her I like a girl too, but won't tell her who it is until I figure out whoshe llikes...All you have to do is continue on life and see if she tells you or asks you something. Hope it works!!

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  • 4 months later...

the same thing happened with me and one of my besties (i was 12) as you've probably seen in other reply's its apart of puberty but i told her and now we're in a secret relationship until we feel we can tell our parents so wait awhile if these feelings continue share them i may have found the girl of my dreams because of it and please know some people have a problem with gays and bi's but those opinions are medieval p.s i am now 16

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  • 9 months later...

I can relate to this alot. My bestfrind and I have been friends for about 10 years, just a few weeks ago I realized that I may be in love with her. We are together everyday, and when were not together were on the fone or texting. I'm 28 with a boyfriend of 9 years, and shes 27, married with 2 kids. I know that she feels the same way about me because we had our moments on several occasions, once we went a lil further than normally. I thought we was on the same page after that, but she keep telling me to stop talking about that day, but I just can't get it out my head. I dream about it and her almost every night. I think shes just afraid, cause I know that she feels how I feel, cause when we don't talk, she'll text me and tell me she misses me....I'm so confused at this point...Somebody help

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  • 4 months later...

umm I have a problem like this to I m 16 and my best friend is 17. We have been friends for 8 years now and since a couple months back I have felt like I have a crush on her. A few days ago on Thursday she kissed me though that wasn't the first time she has done that I felt like this one was different. She always says I love you and always constantly texts me ask to hang out or go to the beach and she gets mad when I have other plans. I can never tell if she is joking or not. I don't know if she feels the same way I do to, when ever she needs help or guidance over something she literally comes running to my house. She has family problems and constantly tells me everything that happens to her, sometimes she cry's not even her mother has seen her do that since she was a young child. but anytime I think about her and how I feel I guess I mentally slap myself because I have no clue how she feels. I know her thought process like the back of my hand and I m afraid if I tell her she might think less of me or not come to me with as many as her problems.

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Okay, I'd just like to chime in to clear up some confusion here. There has been a lot of psychological research done on the issue discussed on this forum, and the simple fact is that it is perfectly natural and normal for heterosexual women to become sexually aroused by or sexually attracted to other women. This does not mean you're homosexual or bisexual or anything like that. It is simply something that happens with straight women from time to time.

 

It's regrettable that this doesn't get talked about more often, as it can be very confusing. It can also lead to a lot of hurt feelings when people set up relationships based on a wrong assumption about their sexual orientation, only to later discover that they are incapable of forming the kind of emotional bond they want with someone of the same sex.

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  • 6 months later...

I'm 14 and I'm going through the same kind of situation right now. There's this girl who was new at my school and I quickly became friends with her because she is on my bus. At first I thought she was annoying and hard to connect to so we just talked as superficial friends. Now that I've gotten to know her better though I can honestly say I like everything about her. We're really close and we've been talking and texting several times every day for the past six months.

 

I don't really mind when she talks to me about guys and her better girl friends from her old school, but when she started dating someone I found myself becoming jealous. Now it seems like whoever she talks to I have to become friends with too because I'm jealous of their interactions with her. The weird thing is that she seems to do that to me too. Whenever I talk to other people she joins the conversation even though she has other friends willing to talk to her and she tries to be in my life more. At first I thought she had a girl crush on me and I was pretty indifferent, but now I feel like I want to talk to her, look at her, hug her, and cuddle with her all the time (nothing more sexual, though).

 

The even more confusing thing is she told me she has a girl crush (by girl crush I mean not a lesbian one) on her other best friend and I really didn't mind, but once I heard a little bit of a conversation between her and her friend about both me and her other girl crush and she seemed to be classifying us both as girl crushes. She even told me that our relationship is different than her relationship with her other bffls and she's always calling me cute and touching my face. She said it was awkward when we hugged the first time and that we shouldn't hug but now she hugs me more than anyone else. We also both seem to get pretty jealous when other people hug each of us. I try to avoid acting interested in her that way, but I really think that I'm starting to develop a girl crush and I don't know what to do.

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  • 2 months later...

I feel where you're coming from. I'm fourteen and my best friend is fifteen. we're both girls and that's what bothers me. she likes to joke around and what not about sexual things and all. but I feel like if I were a guy or she were a guy, things would be totally different. and she's been with girls before and all (I haven't. I'm attracted to guys) and she digs it and I think I'd dig it with her. like, there's urges to kiss her and to cuddle her and tell her how much I love her and all. but I don't want to act upon them, well I do, I just don't know if things would work out. I'm not trying to embarrass myself. and it's just like, her eyes are so beautiful and the way she smiles totally blows me away. everything about her is glorious. I don't know if she feels the same way. I don't need help, just trying to relate and put my feelings out there since I can't really tell her

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  • 2 years later...
hello..! great that i found this forum.. i have the same situation now.. i am 26 years old and have a boyfriend for 3 years.. now i am away from him coz of work. then i met this girl, she's 30 y/o (co-work) and she bacame my best friend..she is very nice to me, she makes me laugh and i tolerate her mood swings and i care for her a lot. i love being with her all the time, and i almost forgot to text/call my boyfriend because i am always with her. we enjoy each other's company.. we share secrets and all. she also have her boyfriend but like me, she is far away because of work... now my problem is, am i already a lesbian? because i care for her so much, and i can't remove her in my mind.. i want to be with her, even become her room mate.. we always hugged each other and kiss on cheeks as a friendly guise only and i makes me happy everytime she kisses me.. i find my feeling weird, never felt it before.. i cannot and do not want to accept the fact that i will be in love with her, but am i already a lesbian with this? i do not want to tell her because i don't want to lose her (she might become angry or ashame of me if i will tell her what i feel)... thank you guys and please i need your response or any reaction regarding this matter

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okay I know this was 5 years ago but there are literally not enough people who know that there isn't just 'straight' and 'lesbians' there are so many more sexualities for example bisexual,they likes both male and female but can prefer one sex over the other, pansexual (they like anyone no matter what gender), asexuals, aromantic etc... We'd be here forever if I had to name them all. Don't label yourself, if you have liked a girl and a guy before acknowledge that, just because you have liked a female before this does not make you a lesbian. Don't stress yourself over too much trying to label yourself.

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