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Thread: jealous of pretty girls around boyfriend

  1. #1
    Member natalie b's Avatar
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    jealous of pretty girls around boyfriend

    Hi all!

    First off Im new to this site and want to thank you all for reading my post!! I look forward to helping you all out

    I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 years now. I am 24, he is 25. Jealousy has overcome our relationship and seems to be eating away at me more and more as time goes on.

    1. I get jealous of pretty girls who are on TV when me and my bf are watching it. I KNOW I am being ridiculous and I hate it . Especially when they are in swim suits. I had to stop watching Nip/Tuck with him because of the gorgeous women and Entourage because there are always hot chicks on the screen.

    2. I get jealous when we are at a bar/club and there are go go dancers, pretty girls around. It will literally ruin my evening and Im constantly checking to see if he is checking them out!

    3. I get jealous of pretty girls everywhere! At restaurants, movies, anywhere. Even if he is not with me and I see a pretty girl Im like "oh Im so glad he is not here to see her."

    4. He orders Maxim magazine. I get so jealous because the girls are so pretty and half naked in there. I hate the fact he is looking at other women. Good thing he doesnt order Playboy

    I am a pretty girl, and I do admit I am insecure. I model, have a great body but I can not for the life of me explain why I am the way I am.

    Its killing me! It's ruining our relationship. We are moving to Florida (Clearwater Beach) soon and he wants to bartend and all I can think about is the women in bikini's everywhere, the big chested blonde haired women. I know Im being selfish, insecure, etc. and not normal but I envy the girls who can look at Maxim's with their guy and not even think twice about the ladies.

    Thanks for listening guys




     


  2. #2
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
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    This isn't about pretty girls. It's about YOU and your self esteem. Work on your self esteem. Remind yourself why you're so great. If you keep acting like this, you will push him away. People are drawn to those with confidence so you must work on putting effort into counteracting those thoughts.
    No Contact or GTFO!

    Reasons why you shouldn't be friends/in contact with your ex!: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=381011

    Changing your social media/computer to promote healing: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=382739

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    I'm the same as you but worse, I even got jealous of him talking to ugly girls (and by ugly, I mean fugly) or girls who wouldn't actually even flirt with him. It sucked because I kept checking on him on FB to see who he was talking to, and almost got to the point where I would want to check his phone but I didn't.

    Ended up breaking up with him because I couldn't handle it. I think it's normal to be jealous to some extent but beware of how you express it. I would unconsciously start acting female-doggish around him and he would think I was PMS'ing or something along those lines. He never knew I was jealous even after we broke up. It was embarrassing to even mention it because most of it was in my head.

    It's not that I'm insecure either, because like I said it was even ugly girls. I am just possessive and I can't help wanting him to be just mine. It's too late anyway but yes, beware of how you express it or it might make things weird. Try to work on it but I think the only way is professional help (I need that).

    I need that or a really ugly and antisocial guy - lol.

  4. #4
    Member natalie b's Avatar
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    Thanks for your response, he always tells me he would rather be with an average looking girl with confidence than a model with no confidence. So you are right.

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    Member natalie b's Avatar
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    itsnotlove:

    I totally agree, maybe that is the possessive part of me because I see that in other parts of our relationship. 98% of it has to do with other girls though. I hate him talking to other girls, even if it is a customer service girl over the phone or something. CRAZY I know. I think professional help is in order. I love him I dont want to push him away

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    I know, I didn't push him away but at the time, I would just feel like acid was burning up in my stomach every time he talked to any girl. The worst part is that he had a female best friend, and I just wanted to kill her. She had her boyfriend and my ex and her wouldn't even talk that much after he and I started dating but I still just wanted her to go away. I didn't want to talk about it but I got too obsessed with the jealousy. I loved him but I hated the way I felt about him. I didn't want to make him feel like he was an object to me that I wanted to overprotect either. I might seek professional help too once I'm done healing with the break-up, and boy, it's been bad because I know it was all my fault. Poor guy didn't even know why I was breaking up with him.

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    Bronze Member InkkedBree's Avatar
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    I know, I didn't push him away but at the time, I would just feel like acid was burning up in my stomach every time he talked to any girl. I didn't want to talk about it but I got too obsessed with the jealousy
    Even if it's not been said or expressed, I'm sure he can pick up the vibe. People's emotions can give off vibes easily. You need to work on yourself for your own insecurity. Those jealousy are pointless. Either work on it or you'll lose him and possibly others after him until you get your insecurity under control. See a counselor or something. That goes to everyone that feels the same.
    "Let us live life so that when we die, even the undertaker would be sorry." - Mark Twain.

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    I post from my iPhone sometimes so pardon the typos.

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    Member natalie b's Avatar
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    itsnotlove:

    Sometimes I have felt like breaking up with him because i can't take it anymore. Any one of my guy friends would say a girl was pretty I wouldn't care and secretly wished I could be the same way with my b/f. I think a lot of it is the media and stuff. I also found out he was going to strip clubs behind my back. He went over a year ago and i STILL can't get over it. It makes me so nauseous to think about it, and puts me in such a terrible mood ughhh.

    But I hear what you mean about being obsessed with the jealousy. If you dont do something about it it gets worse before it gets better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by InkkedBree View Post
    Even if it's not been said or expressed, I'm sure he can pick up the vibe. People's emotions can give off vibes easily. You need to work on yourself for your own insecurity. Those jealousy are pointless. Either work on it or you'll lose him and possibly others after him until you get your insecurity under control. See a counselor or something. That goes to everyone that feels the same.
    It's not an insecurity when it comes to me. He always told me I was the best he could ever have, that no other girl could ever make him feel like I did, and that he would never find someone like me. I am a very confident person, and everyone tells me it shows - sometimes a little too much. Anyway, even after we broke up, he told me anyone he could date would only be second best. I trusted him out of all people in the world, he was my best friend. I rarely trust people but it was easy opening up to him because like I said he would treat me like there was no other girl in the world. With that said, it wasn't even a trust issue.

    The best explanation for the jealousy that a 'professional' could come up with as that my self-esteem was border-lining narcissism which meant that I thought the person I was with should make me the center of their universe; that's impossible. Said I see people as possessions rather than humans. Said I see relationships as my gifts to others and that they should be under my control.

    I stopped going because I didn't like being told I was a narcissist but I see some truth in it. I'm not sure if that's even treatable but I took the easy route and broke up with him. I didn't want to hurt him or me in the process. It was time and soul consuming. And you're probably right about the vibes but you can control it to some extent. It's different to act like a psycho than giving 'off' a vibe.


    Quote Originally Posted by natalie b
    itsnotlove:

    Sometimes I have felt like breaking up with him because i can't take it anymore. Any one of my guy friends would say a girl was pretty I wouldn't care and secretly wished I could be the same way with my b/f. I think a lot of it is the media and stuff. I also found out he was going to strip clubs behind my back. He went over a year ago and i STILL can't get over it. It makes me so nauseous to think about it, and puts me in such a terrible mood ughhh.

    But I hear what you mean about being obsessed with the jealousy. If you dont do something about it it gets worse before it gets better.
    That's what sucks about my case. My ex wouldn't even go to strip clubs, all he wanted was his best friend, other girls he would practically ignore. I didn't mind the girls that were unattainable (celebrities or magazines) but still felt a little jealous. I was mostly jealous of the people that could physically get too close to him. If I had ever seen that, I would have probably flipped out of my mind.

    It started it off really smoothly and then it escalated to a whole other level. It didn't feel healthy and I'm aware that it's not. But. I. Cannot. Control. It.

    I understand your pain; I thought I was psycho. Glad to see there's someone else out there who feels the same way.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Huntress0527's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=natalie b;4755290]itsnotlove:

    Sometimes I have felt like breaking up with him because i can't take it anymore. Any one of my guy friends would say a girl was pretty I wouldn't care and secretly wished I could be the same way with my b/f. I think a lot of it is the media and stuff. I also found out he was going to strip clubs behind my back. He went over a year ago and i STILL can't get over it. It makes me so nauseous to think about it, and puts me in such a terrible mood ughhh.

    Going to strip clubs behind your back certainly doesn't help your insecurity with pretty girls. He should have at least been open about going.

    This is something you're definitely going to have to work on because getting jealous over media is not healthy. I know there are way prettier girls out there than I am (there is always someone that is going to be prettier no matter how gorgeous one is) but I could really care less about them because I know my fiance loves my personality and my core values. I know that no one is better for him than me.

    It's not like these girls are going to try to take your man. Remember why your boyfriend is with YOU. Remember what it is that makes your special and unique. Good Luck!

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