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Guys - What do you think of a girl who has no friends?


plop

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Would you date her? Let's say her only 'friends' are the ones she recently met, and she has no old friends. Is that weird? What if she was really attractive and talented, but a loner? Would that refrain you from dating or being interested in her?? How do you feel basically lol

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This is a tough topic to give an exact answer for lol.

 

For me personally, I would like my girlfriend to have a few good friends. So she can have "girl time", ladies nights out etc. If she has zero friends then to me it would seem is going to be very dependent of the relationship and may become clingy.

 

On the other hand, if she has a lot of friends it will neglect from the relationship possibly. Some nights when you want one on one nights, she will be hanging with friends instead of spending quality time.

 

To me, if I like the girl, it doesn't matter the # friends she has. I enjoy spending more time with her anyways then my friends

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Hi,

 

I there is huge potential for this to be a red flag. Though there could be good reasons, like she moved away and drifted from old friends. the fact that she has some friends (regardless of how "new" they are) is a good thing, that means that she wants others in her life.

 

From a girls POV, I have dated two guys who had no friends, and they turned out to have emotional issues and I ended up leaving them.

 

Someone who has no friends may have a hard time building and sustaining healthy relationships. They mayalso be really selfish. Both my loner exes were selfish, and didn't really like people. They were also clingy, as I was their only form of entertainment and only confidant.

 

It's best to bring up the subject with her to find out why she has no friends. If it is because she is super shy, then I think that is a more acceptable reason, especially if she really wants to make friends but has trouble. However, if she just doesn't want to make friends, then that sounds like trouble.

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I know I'm not a guy, but I'd like to weigh in here. I would consider lack of long term friendships a huge red flag.

 

My ex, who was exceedingly charming and kind in the beginning of the relationship had no long term close friendships and he wasn't close to his family. I thought that this was odd, but he was so charming that he had loads of aquantances that seemed to adore him.

 

Three months into the relationship I found out the hard way why he was incapable of sustaining long term friendships. As soon as he figured that he had me in the bag, he showed his true colors. Extremely verbally abusive, physically once, super critical, and finally cheated on me (thankfully! It made us break up)

 

Single most damaging relationship I've ever been in. He has no long term friendships because he can't hide his true self for very long and repelled people. I feel bad for him.

 

Current boyfriend not nearly as charismatic, but very close to his family and truly loved by his long term friends. Even his exes, which while sometime annoying, I think it's a sign that he's honesty a good person.

 

Our relationship is night and day compared to the one with the ex.

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Would you date her? Let's say her only 'friends' are the ones she recently met, and she has no old friends. Is that weird? What if she was really attractive and talented, but a loner? Would that refrain you from dating or being interested in her?? How do you feel basically lol

 

I'd be totally fine with that

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Here is when it's problematic:

 

Sometimes a girl with no friends feels like her entire social life should revolve around you as the BF. I have friends. I have time that I need to allocate for several different groups of people. My girlfriend is a part of my social life, but she is not ALL of it. So, if she expects to spend 5 hrs a day communicating or hanging out with me, or if she feels that every time I have free time to spend with friends should be devoted to her instead of split up then I am not interested in dating her. Asking someone to be your entire social life and putting a big time burden on them that an active person would divide between her bf and her friends is tough to deal with.

 

Now, if she just prefers to have time alone and doesn't ask more of me than a girl with friends would ask -- I'm cool. But from what I have observed, this is not always the case.

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Would you think that if she as a loner, it means she's independent? I see it being the opposite of clingy - she doesn't NEED a man, but if she had one, she won't be all dramatic and needy if she were alone. I find that most girls with a large group of so called 'girlfriends' always feel the need to be around SOMEBODY, and always DO something socially on a saturday night.

Okay, so surprise surprise, I am pretty a loner, but I consider myself pretty independent because I am able to keep myself entertained. People say I'm very talented in many things and to be honest, I think some may even view me as arrogant, which isn't the case. Anyway, that's a different story.

 

Its not unusual for attractive women to be loners...its a power many can't handle...I'd be on guard for lots of needless drama and odd communication patterns.

Also, why is this?? I've heard this a few times.... why are attractive women loners?? :S

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I agree, plop.

 

Right now, I currently have no close friends. The reason why is because the one friend I had was jealous of me, and resented me because her mother told me that I was 'pretty' and her uncle did too. She also did not want me to be around any guy that she dated or even liked. She was also very mean towards me because of this too

 

I used to have a close circle of friends but they seemed to always talk about me behind my back, and do mean viscuous things to me. I can't help that I didn't luck out and be blessed with a decent group of girlfriends...life isn't fair. For the most part I am a bit of a loner with a casual acquaintance here and there. I hope a guy won't pass me up because of this. I feel that my reasons for not having any friends are not my fault really

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Single most damaging relationship I've ever been in. He has no long term friendships because he can't hide his true self for very long and repelled people. I feel bad for him.

 

Very true point. One of my loner exes was actually a really nasty person too, The way he spoke to people was quite condescending, he was always sarcastic even with me, and very arrogant "I know more than you" attitude and very critical. I believe he had no friends because he drove them away, who wants to hang out with someone like this? I left too when I saw his true colors.

 

I think if you are a loner but aren't clingy and have a good relationship with your family than you are ok. It can be hard to sustain friendships over a long time, and once you are out of school, it can be hard to make new friends. Like I don't have a ton of friends, but I have a few I have known since I was four. I see them occasionally only, because they have busy lives, but talk to them every week. I have others that I met in school but they live all over the country, so hanging out with them is next to impossible. I have no problem hanging out on a Friday night playing with my dog, and like to have my "alone" time for my own hobbies. I have never been with someone who thought this was a red flag, or a problem in any way.

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I have to admit that I'm pretty curious about this myself because I don't have a lot of friends in town.

 

I have one very good female friend locally, but all my other friends have moved out of the area for jobs and school. I keep contact with my friends on Facebook and see them when they visit town. I like to talk to the person I'm dating on a regular basis (like a couple texts or chat online), but I don't expect to be with them all the time. I have a boat load of hobbies and spend a lot of time devoted to those. I also spend time with my family, who are very important to me. I suppose some guys might think I'm clinging because I like to talk daily, but I'm a talker, I love to talk to people. One of my favorite parts of a relationship are the conversations, my friends and I can lose track of time when we getting going.

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This is something I am curious about as well. I have only been living in this city for two years, and I haven't had the chance to meet new people. I worked midnights at one job for a while, and now I do shift work six days a week. I have my old room mate, who I know from High School and a few other people I know from High School. I don't have any close friends really. It's not something that bothers me too much most times. I prefer being alone, and clingy guys would turn me off. I can't be around someone all the time. It's why I couldn't stand living with a room mate. I'm worried about when I get in a relationship that that might bother him, me not wanting to be around him all the time. However, I do wonder if this is something guys will judge me on before they get to know me. Will they worry that I will be clingy around them because I don't have a lot of friends? Once we dated it would be clear I am not clingy, but they can't know that from first impressions.

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I'll echo what others have said and say that it wouldn't really bother me. BUT, if her lack of friends leads to her expecting me to always be around, that would be a problem. I need to have a guys night out, time to play sports, or just a weekend alone (I'm an introvert and need a day or two to recharge every few weeks).

 

If she has no close friends because she's just moved to a new city, or if she has a lot of acquaintances and stays busy, but no one she considers 'close', that's fine.

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I'm kind of in this situation myself. I'm leaving in a city where I didn't go to school or grow up and I've found it hard to establish long term female relationships post graduation. It's just hard to meet girls.. and when we do meet, it's hard to plan schedules with busy lifestyles and so easy to fall out of touch. What really annoys is that some girls just drop of the face of the earth whenever a guy presents himself or when something else comes up. Guys, I don't think have the same problem. My boyfriend is really good friends with every guy he's roomed with in this city and those guys' friends. My old roommate and I, on the other one, seemed like we could develop a good friendship until her relationship became serious, and her friends, although while friendly, were never welcoming. So I just feel like if you are a girl, overall it's harder. I would def hope that a guy would not judge me for that.

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Whether or not this is a red flag may have more to do with the reasons the girl may or may not have friends. She may have no friends because she's a nasty person, it could be because her old friends drifted away, it could be because she doesn't feel the need to have friends, because the place she lives in generally isn't very friendly, etc.

 

I have very few, if any, close friends at the moment. My best friend from high school lives down the hill from me, but I hardly ever see her because we go to different universities. And last semester I became close friends with a girl in my lab class. We would work together on assignments and pair up for community visits, she would tell me her problems on the phone, and we exchanged Christmas presents when the winter break started. But now she has a new close friend she works with, and I initially felt a little bit dejected that she didn't want me to drive her to our community sites anymore even though we were both going to the same place.

 

I can get along with other people, but I have a hard time developing close friendships. This is most likely because I'm reserved and an introvert, thus I don't feel the need to hang out with others a lot. Plus, I'm the quiet type, so it's hard for me to start conversations. And this is a little painful to admit, but laziness may also play a factor. On one hand, in a relationship I don't think I'll be clingy, as I can be alone but not lonely. On the other hand, what if I'm too independent/distant/neglectful? That's a possibility that slightly worries me sometimes...

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Oh man...a kindred spirit!

 

I have one very close friend, and uhhh some people I talk to online who I've talked to for 5 or 6 years now. Crazy! I am very (too) independent and might come off as a bit distant (while inside I'm swooning and sooo in love) but that would be the only "red flag" for me when it comes to relationships.

 

I'd need a boyfriend to have friends or be okay with alone time though when I feel like getting some much needed alone time. I'm such an introvert.

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ok your experience might be different. butmy ex just broke up with me. she had no friends. she was extremly clingy. i would tell her to spend time with her mom. or go do something else she did not want to.where were real close. i did not mind it but i knew that she would get tired of it. and thats what she did. was so clingy before then broke it off, if you date her try giving her space

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I would take it as a HUGE red flag. If someone can't maintain a friendship, they probably won't navigate a relationship.

 

I agree with this. I'm very introverted, but still if you don't have any friends and you're say under 40, something is wrong. A relationship is at its foundation a friendship. These friends need not be local, but at least 1 or 2 good friends is best. You don't need a ton of friends though.

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Would you date her? Let's say her only 'friends' are the ones she recently met, and she has no old friends. Is that weird? What if she was really attractive and talented, but a loner? Would that refrain you from dating or being interested in her?? How do you feel basically lol

 

I don't have a lot of close friends, either.

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My guess is that attractive women have trouble making and keeping friends cause you never know who your friends are, people are jealous that things appear to come to you easily and you steal the other women's boyfriends, crushes or love interests just by existing.

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