suicide prevention hotline in USA suicide prevention hotline in USA
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  1. #1
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    suicide is my only option, trust me

    Ive had plenty of time to think about this and i feel low enough to the point where i want to take my life, and end this. Its never going to get better. Im already going to counseling and taking medicine, and it does nothing. Theres no light anymore, i have no hope. Everything is negative in my life. I dont wanna be around anyone anymore cuz its all just all lie. Im just putting on a front whenever im with anybody, they dont care how i feel so theres no point in showing anything and just act normal. Im tired of being lonely and empty, i feel like i dont even belong on this earth. Im tired of feeling anything anymore. i cant take this pain and suffering everyday, i have nothing left, no will to even try and keep on going and hope things get better. Im not meant to be here, i dont belong anywhere. I have to do this, i just feel like its what i have to do. I dont want this life i cant do it. Everyday i think about ending it all. My life is so messed up, my life is all bad since i was a baby. The damage has already been done, theres nothing anyone can do to change the things that ive been seen or been through. I dont have anyone to be there when i need them. I dont have any trust or faith in anyone anymore, all i have is myself. Thats why i need this to stop, i cant live any longer feeling like this.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member italiannmf24's Avatar
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    Do not commit suicide, it's not worth it.

    Taking your own life? That's crazy, you were given a life for a reason and it's not your decision to take it. When it gets hard, I mean ridiculously hard in life, fight and push your way through it. You can do it, believe me it's not worth it to remove yourself from the world. I know it seems there is no way out, the pain your feeling is most likely unbearable and nearly impossible to endure, key word nearly.

    You can do this, do not give up on yourself. You've obviously seen some bad things in your life and you just want it to all go away, it may not all at once heal, but you'll be able ot beat this thing if you put your mind to it. Suicide is never an option, it's not even on the list. Do not put yourself in the wrong shoes and end up doing this, you have a life, be happy about that. Make the best of things as they are, life is a gift that we're given and trust me, if you waste it now, your gonna miss out on so much, I mean sooo much. You live and you learn.

    I, personally, have faith that you can make it through this.

    Trust in yourself, it's a start.
    "Patience is Genius."

    Confidence is shown, not spoken.

  3. #3
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    No one is going to truly understand what you are going through.
    But you need to believe that you will not feel this way your whole life. Things change. And they can change quickly.
    Hang in there.

  4. #4
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    lost6194,

    I'm going to go out on a limb and say what you're really saying is what you're not saying. That you wished your life was different, that you felt like you were where you want to be and that people showed more interest in you like they care. I struggle with this myself and if anything it's causing me to force myself to discover who I really am and to ef with everyone.

    I've seen enough and been through enough myself to know that I'd rather be the person who stands up to what's right, is good to others and does everything he can to better this world than to be the one to tragically escape from how horrid it can really be. People can be jerks and a good percentage of the population will disappoint you, but really the one person you never want to disappoint is yourself. Medicines will only treat so much if a person doesn't identify with who they are. The sad part here?

    Those closest to you, they'll miss you and they're going to be the ones left to deal with the heartache you've caused by leaving this world unexpectedly and by your choice. Selfish as you'll be for having done that to them will pale in comparison to how selfish those people have been for not having done more to be in your life. You can't count on that to happen and it's a crying shame you'd have to demonstrate that only through leaving this world so painfully.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by DaveCummings View Post
    lost6194,

    I'm going to go out on a limb and say what you're really saying is what you're not saying. That you wished your life was different, that you felt like you were where you want to be and that people showed more interest in you like they care. I struggle with this myself and if anything it's causing me to force myself to discover who I really am and to ef with everyone.

    I've seen enough and been through enough myself to know that I'd rather be the person who stands up to what's right, is good to others and does everything he can to better this world than to be the one to tragically escape from how horrid it can really be. People can be jerks and a good percentage of the population will disappoint you, but really the one person you never want to disappoint is yourself. Medicines will only treat so much if a person doesn't identify with who they are. The sad part here?

    Those closest to you, they'll miss you and they're going to be the ones left to deal with the heartache you've caused by leaving this world unexpectedly and by your choice. Selfish as you'll be for having done that to them will pale in comparison to how selfish those people have been for not having done more to be in your life. You can't count on that to happen and it's a crying shame you'd have to demonstrate that only through leaving this world so painfully.
    ^^ this. I agree. I am in counseling and taking medication, too. It is hard, and it seems like it doesn't work. Who really knows if it does or not?

    The only thing that pushes me on sometimes is the thought of my family arranging my funeral - I never want to hurt anyone like that. No matter how worthless I feel, I can prevent that pain for them.

  6. #6
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    I cant put up with the stress on top of the depression anymore. It takes everything out of me. Im sick and tired of being sick and tired. Ive reached my breaking point, i can only take so much. Id rather feel nothing at all then feel this pain in the pit of my stomache every day. I have so much stuff on my mind all the time, the way i feel is indescribable. I know what everyones trying to say but im just not seeing it that way. Im young but ive been through so much to kno that nothing will ever get better or stay that way for long. Dissappointment is all i know, and sadness.

  7. #7
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    I have no idea who you are or where you come from. But a week ago I posted a thread on this forum and I felt almost identical to the way that you feel, those words that you wrote, over the last 2 years, I have written them over and over, on this forum, to friends, anyone who would listen. I've been there. I've felt it and I've been inches from taking my life. I'm also very young but have felt that I have done it tough in my life. It was only a week ago that I wrote such hopeless words, and things that really had no logic to them. I truley thought that people would be better off without me in the world.
    Its not the truth. And I got through it. I got through to the other side. I've been exactly where you are. Facing problems that I thought had no solutions. And it got better. It always gets better. You just have to be strong. I'd be happy to guide you through it if you ever need a hand. If not, just know that your not alone. That was one of the hardest things for me, to feel alone. But your not and there will always be people willing to help you out. Even if its just on this forum. People are willing to stand by you. There are good people out there who will support you.
    So do not give up.

  8. #8
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    Lost, with depression you never really know if what you're feeling is really real or if is just in your mind. That's why u can't act on it. You need to give it time, maybe try another type of medication, and just wait a little more. Make a life contract, and promise yourself you will find someone to talk about this before committing suicide. Reach out to someone you trust, open up and tell them how you feel inside. Do you already have a plan?
    Please give yourself time to get out of this depression because once you do it there is no turning back. I promise you there is hope for you, just give yourself time. Life is not always easy, but it does get better, and when it does you'll find yourself glad to still be here. All these struggles will only make yous stronger. look at this as an opportunity to grow stronger. PM me if u need to talk to someone.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by holdingon View Post
    I felt almost identical to the way that you feel,
    Hey ! HoldingOn*!! Great to 'see' you..! I was just checking your thread to see how you were and I find you hiding out in here...haha!

    Lost, HoldingOn speaks the truth...They were also where you were and almost at breaking point when they came in here....

    In fact, when people post or speak about their suicide it means they are still reaching out for help...*

    But now, it really is great to see HoldingOn here posting on your thread and feeling much better...* There ARE others out there that need you guys, so stick around OK*

    I too tried suicide but failed....What I DID learn though is that it aint the way home and I will never do it again no matter how bad things get*

    If things in your life truly are that bad, then you should be damn proud of every day you get through...Proud!

    Stay Up Lost*
    K2*
    Keep Knockin'
    Cant knock me down
    No love lost
    No love found......*

    *Every post I make is purely only my opinion and is not to be construed as professional legal advice*

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost6194 View Post
    Im young but ive been through so much to kno that nothing will ever get better or stay that way for long. Dissappointment is all i know, and sadness.
    Hey lost, I'm not young anymore and life has made a habit of throwing me a bad hand time after time. I feel nothing but pain every day right now, all I have in this world right now is a boring job. But I do have one or two real friends that I am thankful for.
    I made a serious committed attempt on my life many years ago and thank god I survived and Im perfectly healthy now, physically anyways. Im also very lonely and lost right now, but I do know that after that day, I did manage to make a meaningful life for myself and I did find some happiness. Not all the time, thats not possible for anybody, but I certainly climbed right out of that desparate and complete depression and sadness. At this moment, I'm right back down there with you, I feel pain all day every day. My point is had I succeeded back then, I would never have done some of the good things I've done since, experienced and appreciated the better times, made the positive differences to other people's lives that we all do from time to time and actually discovered who I am.

    I don't believe I would have ever really found the awareness of who I am, what makes me do what I do, not do what I don't do, like what I like, dislike what I dislike and be honest with myself had I not reached the absolute bottom.

    Please just hang in there kiddo, when you got nothing, you got nothing to lose by trying something that could lead you towards a better life. The internet wasn't around when I was in your shoes, but I did finally start talking and that is a major first step. You already taken that first step coming here, there are many more and each one gets a little bit better. You can fall back down, I just did, but you can also start climbing again and know that one day you will find life worthwhile. For now, please just keep talking.

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