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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by dramallama View Post
    I think that no matter whether you say "I agree with the break up, all the best" or not, if your ex thinks that you are THE ONE, they WILL take the risk, even if it means that you are unavailable and have moved on, to check whether you are still up for grabs. What is the worst thing that could happen to them? THEY are the ones that dumped you. So really, all they need to do is swallow their pride and come out and tell you so. That is, if they really do want to get back together. Don't make excuses for the ex. If they want you, and they feel that they have made the biggest mistake of their lives, NOTHING will stop them from communicating to you that they want to be with you and soon. Anything less than that, sorry, but they don't want you enough.

    I think the best time to say it, is ironically, also at the time when it is hardest to say it - at the begining of the break up, or when you would like to enter into NC because your ex is still in contact and that you respect their decision and for them to only contact you if they would like to reconcile. But if you break a few weeks NC when you aren't even talking to your ex and probably never will, don't risk breaking NC just to tell them that you respect their decision. Because chances are you don't, you are actually wanting to start up NC and to talk to them again.
    Well for the first 2 weeks, I was anxiously hoping to meet up with her one more time. Tried texting her to meet every few days. When I got a reply saying she couldn't because she had already dealt with her emotions. I then sent my message saying she was right to break it off and implemented no contact straight after.

    Just feels hurt that she couldn't meet up again thats all.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
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    It does hurt, but she was doing what was best for herself. By the time that she break up with you, she'd already checked out so she probably didn't see the point in doing so.
    No Contact or GTFO!

    Reasons why you shouldn't be friends/in contact with your ex!: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=381011

    Changing your social media/computer to promote healing: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=382739

  3. #13
    Gold Member lucasky's Avatar
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    With regards to saying a breakup was a good idea: I had two ex's come back and the story goes like this -
    Ex 1) He came back two years later. I had moved on. I was desperately wanting him back and I probably said at some point during my begging/pleading/negotiating phase that I agreed with the breakup, but I can't be sure. Either way, he came back eventually. I think the whole "I agree with the breakup" as a way of making the person miss you kind of goes out the window when you're apart for a long time. I am sure neither of us remember what we said to one another during those painful desperate months where I begged for him back.
    Ex 2) He called me to break up with me and I don't know if I AGREED with the breakup, but I did say something like "you know, I'm more annoyed and hurt that you stood me up then called me rather than just coming here and saying it to my face". He came back a couple months later (3?).

    Current ex:
    I broke up with him. Tried to take it back. He decided he wanted it. I agreed to it. I tried to negotiate us fixing things in the future, he wouldn't talk about it. I said I wasn't okay with the break up. Thanked him for the good times and took off. That was a over a week ago. So far, no love!

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by dramallama View Post
    It does hurt, but she was doing what was best for herself. By the time that she break up with you, she'd already checked out so she probably didn't see the point in doing so.
    and thats what really HURTS!!! It feels very selfish of her. I can't force her to be with me, especially if she doesn't feel the same way. But she dumped me on the phone because I was about to book a concert tickets. I never got to see her again.

    You know what its like to loose a friend without saying goodbye. Imagine losing someone who have been in a relationship with, without saying goodbye to them!

    I just wish she could have given me the chance to do that, it would have made things alot more easier for me. I really miss her!!!
    Last edited by Leo78; 05-29-2011 at 06:16 PM.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
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    You don't need to say goodbye to her to get closure. Write her a letter but do not give it to her. That will help you with your own feelings a lot. She doesn't need a goodbye from you, so this is about you, not her.
    No Contact or GTFO!

    Reasons why you shouldn't be friends/in contact with your ex!: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=381011

    Changing your social media/computer to promote healing: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=382739

  7. 06-08-2011, 11:43 AM

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