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Women...men in their 40's, never engaged, married, no kids, etc.


shygal2008

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I have a question for the ladies..what do you think of 40 year old men who have never lived with a woman, been engaged, married, etc. would you question if they are boyfriend or better yet....husband material?

 

This conversation came up at work today and many of the woman say that a red flag would go up if they met a man who has never been engaged or married and was 40 plus years old.

 

 

 

What do you all think? Any experience with this?

 

 

Thanks so much

 

 

I also want to add that i know there can be circumstances that are out of their control..and woman too can have these same issues..i have friends who are female who are single..but they had at least one long term relationship each (one engaged, one lived together for many years) and are both now 40ish!

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Hmmm...so I guess these women think that a man with a failed marriage and a bunch of failed live-in relationships is a much better catch...no red flags there!!

 

 

No thats not what was said..but they felt at least if he had a divorce in his past that he would be opened to marriage or not be afraid of commitment. This was also based on experiences these women have had.

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I am dating one. He was 40 when we met, and turning 41 that year. There are advantages and disadvantages. And not all men in their 40s who have never done those things are the same. Some have had a revolving door of girlfriends but never committed and got lucky in the contraceptive department and some were really immersed in work or hobbies and just never met the one/had few girlfriends. So its not really a fair and equal question. Also, i don't think guys who had been engaged, etc, necessarily have baggage just because they were.

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Also, i don't think guys who had been engaged, etc, necessarily have baggage just because they were.

 

I think they would view that as a better thing..not as a negative....to have atleast had that experience.

 

I peronally would not let it stop me, as long as he told me he was open to being married some day, have kids, etc.

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Hmmm...so I guess these women think that a man with a failed marriage and a bunch of failed live-in relationships is a much better catch...no red flags there!!

 

 

No thats not what was said..but they felt at least if he had a divorce in his past that he would be opened to marriage or not be afraid of commitment. This was also based on experiences these women have had.

 

Lots of divorced people will have a string of partners but choose never to marry again. There are plenty of commitmentphobic people who are indeed married or have been married. These people get married for image but want no emotional closeness to their partner. In other words, they may have gotten married but they were not committed to the partner and to their marriage. These women have a very narrow and naive view of people and relationships and don't really understand that it is not one size fits all.

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I'm in my 50's. Never married. I have lived with women.

 

I had a girlfriend once who called me a commitment-phobe because I didn't want to get married. I asked her how longer her longest relationship was -- including her first husband. Her answer was a year and a half. I pointed out that my *shortest* relationship ever was four years. So which one of us had trouble with commitment?

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[...] not all men in their 40s who have never done those things are the same. Some have had a revolving door of girlfriends but never committed and got lucky in the contraceptive department and some were really immersed in work or hobbies and just never met the one/had few girlfriends. So its not really a fair and equal question. [...]

 

Yep. There are a bazillion variations on these scenarios alone. The question that would matter to me most is, is he looking for casual dating with lots of women or is he looking for a relationship?

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I have a question for the ladies..what do you think of 40 year old men who have never lived with a woman, been engaged, married, etc. would you question if they are boyfriend or better yet....husband material?

 

This conversation came up at work today and many of the woman say that a red flag would go up if they met a man who has never been engaged or married and was 40 plus years old.

 

 

 

What do you all think? Any experience with this?

 

 

Thanks so much

 

 

I also want to add that i know there can be circumstances that are out of their control..and woman too can have these same issues..i have friends who are female who are single..but they had at least one long term relationship each (one engaged, one lived together for many years) and are both now 40ish!

 

Also never lived with a woman? Hmmm. Well, I might consider dating him IF he's had long term relationships. Now if he's never even had a relationship before, heck no.

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I dated a guy last year, 41 never married, no kids. All due to him being a pro sportsman for 25 years, he did live with someone once though then kicked her out years earlier. He was very set in his ways though with his pub nights, watching sports etc. Basically he asked me to move closer, wanted to meet my children and told me he loved me...this was on the first (and only) date

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It is something that I always thought might be a red flag. I don't know why, I guess I had all sorts of misconceptions. However a couple of years ago I met someone who was 40 and had never been married. He had been in a couple of long-term relationships that hadn't worked out. It was as simple as that. He was also goodlooking, a smart dresser, had his own company and drove a snazzy sports car .... which I guess is not the image I had of a 40 year old who had never been married .... I really don't know why now. Since his last relationship ended he had dedicated his time to building up his company. He was interesting and good company ... so now my misconceptions have been blown out of the water so, if I were single, it certainly wouldn't be a red flag any more. However, if they were still living at home with their parents ...........

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I like to think it doesn't matter.

 

I'm a 32 year old guy, never married, never had an LTR, just a whole slew of short ones.

 

I'm hoping that a potential girlfriend can overlook my history. The good thing is that none of my relationships ended on bad terms. Things just never worked out, and in fact, i'm still friends with some of the women i've dated.

 

I think it's normal this day in age, and it just takes some people a lot longer than others to find someone.

 

 

Perpetually single people need not worry.

 

-LR

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Also never lived with a woman? Hmmm. Well, I might consider dating him IF he's had long term relationships. Now if he's never even had a relationship before, heck no.

You presume to know the circumstances that led to him not having a relationship before.Every situation is different.Are you assuming that the hypothetical guy has tried and tried with many women and gotten rejected again and again and no one wanted to date him?Or perhaps he has dealt with a lot of social anxiety and just didn't go after women but has continued to work on his social anxiety and may make a terrific partner ..In any event what man who is 40 years old is going to publicly broadcast his lack of experience during the initial stages of dating,so why/how is it going to be a concern to any woman who wants to date him.Any woman who has enough awareness to identify a man in his 40's never engaged,never married will already have a pretty good idea why it hasn't happened for him for whatever reason and will be able to balance the pro's and con's of a possible relationship.I just don't think most people are that black and white particularly if the woman happens to find the man physically attractive.

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I think it may be a bit of a red flag if the guy NEVER EVER had a relationship ever in his life, but still, I could overlook that, I would just have to get to know him first.

 

This is why I'am the way I'am with all my posts. cause even if a guy is 20-30 years and has not had a girlfriend its just not good on his part.

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This is why I'am the way I'am with all my posts. cause even if a guy is 20-30 years and has not had a girlfriend its just not good on his part.

 

This is what scares the crap out of me, as someone who is in his mid 20s and zero relationships. When you reach 30+, most girls will definitely be turned off if they find this out. I will probably lie and hide this fact as I get older... maybe even from now on. I know that the right girl wouldn't care but reading some of the comments and from what I believe, I am highly skeptical, as I don't think many are as accepting by the time you reach your later years (i.e. - 30-40)

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This is what scares the crap out of me, as someone who is in his mid 20s and zero relationships. When you reach 30+, most girls will definitely be turned off if they find this out. I will probably lie and hide this fact as I get older... maybe even from now on. I know that the right girl wouldn't care but reading some of the comments and from what I believe, I am highly skeptical, as I don't think many are as accepting by the time you reach your later years (i.e. - 30-40)

 

The same applies to men. You should see their chins drop when I tell them I was never married. They just give you this blank stare....they are thinking, "what's wrong with her"?

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The same applies to men. You should see their chins drop when I tell them I was never married. They just give you this blank stare....they are thinking, "what's wrong with her"?

 

It's more excepting for women to be a virgin an older age than it is for men. Especially if she's not a virgin at a later age like she's not going to take this very lightly.

 

I have had many girls even tell me personally not to tell my future partner that she's my first or else that could scare her away.

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I think this is a similar phase when meeting people on the internet surprised people many years ago. But with people marrying much later compared to our parents & grandparents' generation it wouldn't honestly surprise me if it became a norm for people to have never married into their 30's if not 40's.

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