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Thread: Feeling like you're "meant" to be with someone?

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    Member Ritz Maidge's Avatar
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    Feeling like you're "meant" to be with someone?

    Have you ever had a strong gut, or heart-felt, feeling that you were "meant" to be with someone? Maybe not at that exact moment in time, but someday. If so, how did that turn out for you? I would love to hear stories on these types of situations.



    I am currently going through a similar situation. I am a (almost) 22-year-old female. I met a guy at work a few months ago, and we quickly became friends - lunches (we typically always had the same lunch hour) and talking at work, or off work, led to this friendship. However, I found myself developing feelings for him beyond a friendship as well. Initially, I had a physical attraction to him; eventually, it led attraction mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, as well. Admittedly, he shares the same feelings for me.

    Honestly, I have been in long-term relationships before, and I have loved before; however, something seems different this time around. Something tells me that we will be together one day, but not anytime soon - there are too many obstacles in our way right now:

    1. He has a girlfriend.
    2. Even if he were single, I have too many things I have to work on before I can even attempt to try making another human being happy. If I were to try loving somebody right now, it might end up a failure or disaster: I have to work on me first.


    This guy is currently gone. I haven't talked to him in a month (I opted against it while he was gone away - I figured we both needed some "space" from each other to really think things over, given the situation) and he will not be back until summertime.

    Over the past few months, I have had several people tell me that I only like or want this guy because I cannot have him, due to his girlfriend. This past month, with complete space from him, has proven that's not the case at all.


    Anyways, I would love to hear any success and/or failed stories in situations like this. I don't have "high hopes" for us - I am a strong reality-based girl - but I do have those gut instincts, and I do know what I feel. I just won't act on them until an appropriate time.

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    No.. Except I have Native American fixation like all Europeans who have seen spesific movies, lol... I had to born different century and different race, heh heh.... I am here my "one" call me!!!!!!! LoL, sorry, could not resist... <--- that is for me

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritz Maidge View Post
    Have you ever had a strong gut, or heart-felt, feeling that you were "meant" to be with someone? Maybe not at that exact moment in time, but someday. If so, how did that turn out for you? I would love to hear stories on these types of situations.
    1. He has a girlfriend.
    2. Even if he were single, I have too many things I have to work on before I can even attempt to try making another human being happy. If I were to try loving somebody right now, it might end up a failure or disaster: I have to work on me first.
    Put the brakes on. He has a girlfriend, so you need to back off. It doesn't matter how you feel about him, he's not available. That 'feeling' someone may get about being with someone only works when both people feel it, otherwise it means nothing. Having space doesn't get rid of the fact that he is taken, so your excuse you are making for yourself is not doing you any good. Look for guys who are available and stop talking to this one.

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    Yes, totally. I knew a man about 8 or 9 years ago now who shook me to the core from the moment our eyes met. We had amazing chemistry, such as I have never known before or since. The mutual attraction was so powerful that all our colleagues commented on what a great pair we made... All these years later my heart still drops into my boots when I think about him. He was in a relationship at the time, and his partner became pregnant, so we did the right thing and there was never anything physical between us. I moved on, and was in a relationship myself when his ended - we just kept missing our opportunities. He's married now, and I hear of him occasionally.

    I live by the maxim, "if you can't have the one you love, love the one you're with". I have a sweet and loving partner who I wouldn't hurt for the world, and we have a solid relationship and have built a life together that I don't want to destroy. Having said this, my feelings for this other guy have never changed - they've got more controllable, and I'm used to them, but I still feel that this was really the guy I was "meant" to be with. I still think one day our paths will cross and our time will come - like you I have work to do before that can happen. And if and when we meet again, well, who knows? I don't have any firm hopes and wishes, I just know that to have one of our amazing conversations again will feel like coming home.

    I totally get where you're coming from, you don't need to be told to "back off" because you've accepted that you're playing a long game here. And you've made sure it's mutual, so you don't need to be told that "it only works when both people feel it". Neither are you making excuses as far as I can see.

    Put him in a warm, cozy place inside, and get your feelings out from time to time and examine them. In the meantime, build your life so that when you meet again - in whatever near or distant future - he meets a person you're proud to reintroduce to him. These feelings can't be turned off - sometimes it's just not as simple as "move on". The best thing is to keep a perspective (which you have), and build a big, beautiful you around them. I know you can.

    Good luck. x

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    Bronze Member piruru's Avatar
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    I have that feeling with my current boyfriend now. We haven't been together very long though, so I'll get back to you in like a year or something.

    But from what I feel, it's not really just a feeling of love or infatuation. My connection with him isn't electric or passionate exactly, it's deeper than that. When we talk, it's like we speak from the soul. He hears things that I don't even say. And also, when he's around me, he becomes more of himself. It's like I see who he really is, instead of who he pretends to be.

    I've fallen hopelessly in love before, but I've never felt that I'm meant to be with someone like I feel for my boyfriend now. I don't know... I'm really young and it's really early, but I feel like he's the one. I've never felt this way about any of my past relationships before. It's really strange.

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    Quote Originally Posted by blondie03 View Post
    Put the brakes on. He has a girlfriend, so you need to back off. It doesn't matter how you feel about him, he's not available. That 'feeling' someone may get about being with someone only works when both people feel it, otherwise it means nothing. Having space doesn't get rid of the fact that he is taken, so your excuse you are making for yourself is not doing you any good. Look for guys who are available and stop talking to this one.
    I don't agree.What would be the harm in casually mentioning her interest ,if only in a lighthearted way ''ah,if only you were single''.Relationships constantly fluctuate,we really don't know the status of his relationship now do we,his girlfriend might be on the way out.I am not suggesting the OP aggressively pursue this guy but what is the point of her silently pining away for this guy and not doing anything about it.If he turns her down flat then so be it,she can have closer and move on.

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    I've had that feeling twice before and it turned out to be a bunch of bull. I was just seeing what I wanted to see in them because I was loved up. When I found out who they really were... hell no we weren't meant to be together LOL

    So no, I don't believe/trust that feeling at all. Its just chemicals firing around in your brain.

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    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    No, I haven't really felt that way with anyone, including my current boyfriend. And we've been together for 2 years.

    We have long-term potential, yes, and we want to be together long-term. I just don't feel that feeling of "I was meant to be with him". There are many, many men in the world who could have made me happy had I met them and chose to go with them. However, I didn't and I chose my boyfriend so it works.
    I apologize in advance for any typos.

    "Every road leads to your door, every step I take forever more..."

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    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    I have that feeling with my fiance. It's one of those 'when you know, you know' things, as cliche as it sounds. It doesn't always work out for everyone though.
    "I am and always will be- the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes. The dreamer of improbable dreams." - The Eleventh Doctor

    When life doesn’t go quite as planned yell “plot twist!” and move on. -- Thanks for this, Sherry. :)

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    Silver Member thebluest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by badhabits View Post
    I've had that feeling twice before and it turned out to be a bunch of bull. I was just seeing what I wanted to see in them because I was loved up. When I found out who they really were... hell no we weren't meant to be together LOL

    So no, I don't believe/trust that feeling at all. Its just chemicals firing around in your brain.
    I hate to be pessimistic but I agree. With my ex, it was so difficult because we were in a LDR, but I felt like we were meant to be and I should have ended it because the 'meant to be' masked a lot of problems in reality (like the fact that we didn't have solid plans to make it not a LDR). With the benefit of hindsight I now know all this, even though at the time of breakup I was a wreck and it felt like I was losing my soulmate.

    The reality of the situation is how it is - I'm guilty of falling for movie magic feelings sometimes, but you have to be honest with where things are. You're grounded enough to know that you need to work on yourself, and he's not prepared to end things in his relationship otherwise he'd have already done so.

    The beauty of life is that no one knows what happens in the future - but don't get focused on this guy too much that you miss one who just needed a chance for you to develop stronger feelings for.

    Who knows, maybe after you've worked out whatever it is with yourself, you might come to find that you're a different person then and not interested in this guy anymore.
    "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
    - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

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