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Thread: found a condom in his wallet. help

  1. #1

    found a condom in his wallet. help

    I don't even know what to say plz help. I found a condon in my boyfriends wallet. I don't feel he is cheating. I don't have that gut feeling but I snooped and found a condom. We don't use them. Been together 5yrs. Live together. He is 22. I am 23. What is the deal? Does this mean he is cheating? When I confronted him he was so angry I snooped. He said he is not cheating but did not give me a clear cut reason why it was there. He said it just was. He said look hard enough and you will find what you are looking for. He has asked me to go in his wallet before for money so I guess I assumed it was ok. I don't know what to think. I went to work and didn't talk to him all day. I hung out with friends n stayed out until 4. When I got home he was asleep and woke me up to talk about it. He said he is not cheating n just wants me to trust him. He is mad bc I always snoop or question him. Im just so worried things will mess up. Its like a self fulfilling prohpecy. Plz help.

    P.s. years ago he found text n pix from other guys in my phone but has since forgiven me.

  2. #2
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    If you have been together 5 years and don't use condoms, you have every right to be suspicious of him cheating by finding a condom in his wallet. Has he given you any other reason to be suspicious?

    Make him tell you why the condoms were in there. If you have been together for 5 years, the issue shouldn't be why you were in his wallet. Maybe you shouldn't have been in his wallet, but the condom issue is WAY more important.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    I'm guessing you didn't look at the expiration date. If it was 2005, it may be true. If it was 2012... well...

    If I found a condom in my husband's wallet, I would KNOW he was cheating.

  4. #4
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    An ex who cheated on me and lied messed with my head telling me things like I should just trust him, without there ever being an explanation that made sense (and he usually wouldn't give one anyway). So, you always snoop or question him? Why do you do that? I'm guessing this isn't the first suspicious thing that's come up.

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  6. #5
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    why do you snooping?
    if you're snooping that means you don't trust him...why be in the relationship?
    what's the expiration date?
    what're you willing to do if he is cheating?

    all things you should think about

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    Suspicious. He didn't give you a clear explanation so there is no reason to just "trust him".

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    Strange you've been with a man 5 years and you get chewed for being in his wallet. My husband tells me to get things out of his. He has nothing in there, never has and I know never will. He has never cared a bit if I look in his wallet, his e-mail, his bedroom drawers, suitcases, he is an open book. A man that is truly innocent will open his world to you. If you feel like you are in a museum around his things, there is a problem. I'd bet money.

    I have a cousin that treated his wife that way, and he was cheating on her the entire time with a young girl. He even ended up marrying her. And of course he cheated on her the whole time and they finally divorced.

  9. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Firecracker View Post
    Strange you've been with a man 5 years and you get chewed for being in his wallet. My husband tells me to get things out of his. He has nothing in there, never has and I know never will. He has never cared a bit if I look in his wallet, his e-mail, his bedroom drawers, suitcases, he is an open book. A man that is truly innocent will open his world to you. If you feel like you are in a museum around his things, there is a problem. I'd bet money.

    I have a cousin that treated his wife that way, and he was cheating on her the entire time with a young girl. He even ended up marrying her. And of course he cheated on her the whole time and they finally divorced.
    I don't understand why serial cheaters feel the need to settle down. I mean why not just be free and sleep around?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by worriedgirl View Post
    I don't understand why serial cheaters feel the need to settle down. I mean why not just be free and sleep around?
    They need regular sex, and someone to lean on. When people sleep around, there are bound to be dry spells where they can't get all their needs met. That is why they pick one to settle down with. It's just plain selfishness.

  11. #10
    he has never given me a reason to believe he is cheating..hes always home or we are always on weekend vacation somewhere or doing things with my family or his family...but why have it!? when I asked him that he said he was not cheating it was just in there because it was in there and no matter what he told me i was not going to believe him. I asked him if it was for "just in case" purposes and he laughed at me. he told me I was thinking way to into it and it was just there because. He told me he knows sometimes i would randomly be in his wallet for things (money, etc) and why would he try to be hiding it there. Idk what to do?? is this a maturity thing or age thing ? I just dont know ..i love him so much he is so affectionate, tells me I am his best friend, our families love eachother, nothing else is weird, our home, finances etc. just this issue. He tells me there are things i have done in the past that he has forgotten about and forgiven and that I need to stop worrying and truly trust him. A friend of mine told me not to nag or worry because if he is cheating it will naturally just unfold itself. True or no? THANK U!

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