Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 64

Thread: Iím in love with my best friend, but weíre both girls

  1. #1
    Member Moonsong's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    40
    Gender
    Female

    Iím in love with my best friend, but weíre both girls

    Hello, i started to get feelings for my best friend, we respect and trust each other, so i donít know what to do.

    Here is my story:

    We met, almost a year ago, on school. We have the same hobbyís (drawing manga, watching anime, reading manga), so it was pretty easy for us to become friends. We talked about a lot of stuff and did things together and soon we became best friends. She said that i was special, because i could understand her so good, i respected her and i always made her laugh. She isnít really a person whoís searching for social contact and most of the times she looks very angry (while she isnít ).

    So this year, end February, i began to fall for her (i already knew i was bi-sexual). I donít know why, but i was just so happy when she hugged me (we hug each other very often, when we say goodbye or when there is something bothering her, but she canít say it loud). My mom found out very early i was in love with her and one day she was talking with me she said i may not only be friends with her and i need to search for other good friends to, i said that i had other friends to but she was my best friend and i started to cry (iím a very emotional girl), my mom asked what was wrong and i didnít answer, then she said: ďi will tell you whatís wrong, youĎre in love with her. Am i right?Ē. I nod and cried even more, my mom hugged me and said it was okay. After that we talked for hours.

    We mail pretty much and when we canít see each other a lot she says she misses me. And sometimes when weíre alone she says she wants to hug me to dead or she says iím cute, it makes me so happy. One time she came to sleep over and we stayed up late, she just jumped on the bed and said she was tired, then i tickled her, she laughed very hard and said: ďWhat would i do without you?Ē. Then one day she came over to my house, we eat together with my family and after the meal i going to the bathroom, so everything went well that day and at evening she went home, when she was gone my mom talked to me, she said that when i was to the toilet my friend said that i changed her life (in a positive way) i donít know why but that made me feel warm inside.

    So, at the end of the first grade there where exams, we both did our best already, but now the last exam. We both wanted it to be as good as all the others so we putted our lucky glove on. We both have one, she has the right one, i have the left one. And so all the girls of my class asked where i got it and why i only had one, they were not mean or something. Then i go outside because we always have a pause between the exams, i meet up with my friend, (we arenít in the same class, but next year we will be) we talk a little and then a whole group of kids from our grade came standing around us and they keep asking why we have those gloves on, but they where mean they did bully my best friend in the past and they were probably trying to do that again. My best friend gets angry, says nothing and walks away, they did follow her, but then i walk next to her, those stupid kids where still asking a lot of things, so i began answering there questions and meanwhile i go slower so she could get away. She walks further and i stop, still answering there stupid questions. I did that for a while, totally surrounded by all those kids. Until i feel a hand on my shoulder, i turn around and i see itís her. I tell her she can go and i will take care of those kids, she takes my hand and says that she wonít leave me. Suddenly everyone is quiet until one girl rude asks if where lesbians, we both hush , than that girl says: ďkiss each other.Ē At first i was shocked, but then i said to that girl: ďWhy donít you kiss Olivier? (a boy who did also bully us, which name i know and who was standing right in front of me)Ē That girl shut her mouth, but then Olivier says: ďnot so brutal, girl!Ē and he punch me (not that hard and besides iím on karate). Luckily the bell ringed after he said that. That evening she told me that she thought that i was cool because i stayed so calm.

    Then, last week we went on a holiday together with my grandparents. They have a caravan abroad. But a couple of years ago i went there with my cousin and sometimes i tickled her, because i thought that was funny, and my grandmother said, when i didnít know, that we were like lesbians. Címon we were just 11 years old and i donít hug her or something like that , only tickling. So i told that to my best friend, and we agreed that we wonít have physical contact. Sometimes that was pretty hard, but at evening we were always going outside without my grandparents and we slept in the same bed. In the caravan there are only 2 bedrooms, one for my grandparents and 1 for us. So the first night she slept at the side of the window, we talked a while and then we got to sleep. I didnít want her to think that iím to close, so i slept pretty far away from her. Then the second night she said that she didnít sleep well, so i said that i would sleep at the window side. So we lay in bed, we talk a little and then we go sleeping, she takes her pillow and lays it next to mine, i was pretty nervous, but it felt good to know that she was so close. Then in the morning (very early) i wake up and i see her sitting up in the bed, i ask if thereís something wrong, she said that she canít sleep but she would watch over me, until i waked up she did really stay by my side. The last night we were very tired so we didnít talk much, so we say goodnight and she lays her head on my shoulder and i lye my head on her head. It just feels so good when she does such things, but this was the first time that she was so close and i loved it. That night when she turned she did always look if i had enough blanket (it was just for one person) and most of times she covered me again. So every evening we went on a walk together, outside there is beautiful nature, itís next to the sea and itís always very quiet and peaceful there, so we had enough time for each other. And so, the first evening it was raining and we did already made a walk and we were tired but, the second evening we watched the sunset while sitting next to each other on the grass. At first we just sat next to each other but then she came closer and laid her head on my shoulder (she does that often when she has a headache or if sheís tired or just because, i do that to), but this time it wasnít because her head hurts or she was tired, she just laughed and said that it was beautiful. The sky turned dark red, the color of love she said. Then when we were walking the next day she said that she was cold and then she hooked her arm in mine, i said that we could also hold hands because her hands where the coldest, she said yes and held my hand, she said that my hands are always warm (thatís kinda true). Then, that night we were watching the stars while lying in the grass, i had her coat under my head and she was lying on my arm. They said it was the perfect night to see shooting stars and so we saw 4 shooting stars and the most beautiful stars weíve ever seen. The first shooting star was a little one and we could not see it totally because it was on our left side, i said that i was happy that iíd see a shooting star for the first time in my life, but i wanted to see one very clear right in front of my eyes. And so 2minutes later we were talking and suddenly right in front of our eyes a very clear shooting star, one moment everything was quiet and then she began to cry (she cries very easily when there happens something nice), i was also shocked and a little scared, so i just hugged her. The day after that (our last day) it was rainy, but we went on a walk at the beach, it was very nice and sometimes she just hugged me, it was the best vacation of my life.

    Sometimes i want to tell her, but i hold back because iím scared that if i tell her she could become scared from me. One day i asked her what she thought about a GirlxGirl relationship and she said that it was the choice of the ones to love each other and that she thought that there wasnít anything wrong with loving someone for who they are. I didnít tell her that iím bi yet. One day she said that i was the best thing that happened in her life because she was an Ďaccidentí, her mom got pregnant at 16 years and the boy ran away, so she never knew her father, and also is her family very cold towards her, then she got bullied, never had real friends and there was no one who could understand her, until she met me.

    I could tell a lot more, but that would be to long (isnít it already too long, sorry about that) . I hope that some of you could give some advice or tell me if you think she loves me to or not. Iím very confused at the moment and i donít know what to do (tell her or not).

  2. #2
    Member sweetguy88's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    25
    Posts
    206
    Gender
    Male
    I think she really likes you tell her your bi when you 2 are alone together

  3. #3
    Member Moonsong's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    40
    Gender
    Female
    Thanks for responding. This afternoon i will see her again, we're going for a walk in the woods, unfortunately together with my parents and brother. I don't know if i can tell her, but maybe i'll give her a hint. I will tell if there has happened something! Please support me.

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    15
    That is a very sweet relationship you have there.
    You seem very close, and it looks like you are really important to her, so I think whatever you might tell her, that you are bi or that you like her, she won't reject you.
    She seems sensitive, and she has difficulties dealing with emotional situations, so maybe it will take her time to deal with it or to communicate with you about how she feels. Don't stress too much about it. But if you trust each other everything should be all right
    Take your time, chose the right time.
    I wish you the best of luck !

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member sweetguy88's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    25
    Posts
    206
    Gender
    Male
    I am bi and I support you good luck keep us updated

  7. #6
    Member Moonsong's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    40
    Gender
    Female
    Thanks for your reply's they really made me happy!
    So, yesterday we went for a walk in the woods, it was very nice. While my family was drinking something we went walking alone, we talked about a lot and looked at the clouds for a while. We also sat on a bench under a weeping willow (tree), next to the water. She said that it was a romantical place. After that we played on a playground (no, we're no kids, but maybe we're crazy) it was fun to do that again.
    Sometimes i want to hug her or take her hand, but i am scared that she wil think that i'm too close or that she will notice something, what do you think? I really don't know.

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    15
    You can try to take small steps, and maybe taking it just a little bit further each time.
    Holding her hand could be a first step. If you don't feel confortable with it maybe take an even smaller step.
    I feel sometimes it easier to show your affection than to spell it with words.
    Maybe you can also mention randomly something about homosexuality or gay people you have heard of in a conversation. Like that you can see how she reacts to the topic, and also make her understand you are very open on the topic.
    I hope this is helpful!
    Good luck!
    Last edited by pappp; 08-20-2010 at 12:44 PM. Reason: Spelling

  9. #8
    Member Moonsong's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    40
    Gender
    Female
    Thanks pappp,
    i will try to do that, your advice really helps me.
    And i think your completely right that it's sometimes easier to show your affection than to spell it in words.
    We did already talk about homosexuality, because my favorite band is t.A.T.u, they were also a lesbian couple, but they broke up because a lot of things happened. She also likes the music from t.A.T.u and she doesn't mind that they're lesbians. Tomorrow we might go cycling together, i hope so.

  10. #9
    Member chocolatemilk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    NZ
    Age
    25
    Posts
    94
    Gender
    Female
    Sounds like she's waiting for you to make a move on her.

    Just kiss her already, you idiot.

  11. #10
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Age
    35
    Posts
    881
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Moonsong View Post
    i think your completely right that it's sometimes easier to show your affection than to spell it in words.
    I wouldn't recommend making a move without spelling it out in words.
    If she rejects you, better it happen from you telling her how you feel, than from you making a move on her that she doesn't appreciate.

    It all sounds very sweet and romantic, but isn't this what a lot of young straight girls do? get all emotionally close with other straight girls?

    I don't know how old you two are, but I remember when I was younger, these really tight super close friendships between girls were very common up to the age of around 16. None of these girls turned out to be Lesbians.

    Actually, I think it's because these girls are straight that they're able to get so close. Because it's not so scary.

    I think in situations where a girl who is presumed to be straight falls for a female friend, she has to choose between the friendship, and truth. If you want to be out, and out to her, then you may lose her as a close friend. If you value having her in your life more than you value your freedom to live honestly about who you are, then you might choose to refrain from telling her how you feel.

    there are a lot of threads on this forum about people falling for their close friends who don't know they're Bisexual or Gay/Lesbian.

    Often the most common (and best) advice is that they come out to their friend first, before revealing their feelings to that friend. And to put an emphasis on your attraction to other girls, so that she doesn't feel like she's the target of your same sex attractions.

    With you, though, I think it will be harder to come out to her without her figuring out that you have feelings for her, because you two are so close and affectionate with each other.

    I think if you're going to tell her how you feel, you need to prepare for the possibility that she wont' return your feelings. Be ready. Decide if you think you could still be friends if she didn't return your feelings? Could you handle her being a bit uncomfortable about it? Would you be emotionally strong and resilient enough to allow a bit of distance between the two of you for a while, and then to reconstruct a friendship, a new kind of friendship, perhaps one which is less emotionally intense?
    The highest form of love is to be the protector of another person's solitude - Rilke

Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast
Related Articles & Books
by Margarita Nahapetyan
One of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life are failed relationships. Making a relationship work is one of the most important life ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
It has been universally acknowledged that having a long distance relationship is not such a good idea, especially if there is no known end-date to ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
Some people say that when we deeply love or care about someone we automatically open the door to betrayal. I am not sure whether such statement holds ...
 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •