How to dominate your man

As my husband and I have been in the process of normalizing our relationship and bringing things back into equilibrium, sex has definitely become a much more prominent issue--which is great, since we're doing it more often.

We're also exploring ways to be more adventurous in bed (and everywhere else), and one of the things I've been contemplating is dominating him while we're having sex. This may not seem that adventurous but I've typically been more submissive. I'd like to change that up, but I'm not entirely sure how to do so without lapsing into "Is this okay, honey?" or "What would you like me to do?" which would sort of defeat the purpose.

So my question to men out there is: Do you enjoy it when women are dominant in bed and take the lead as far as telling you what to do? Are there particular things that you like or dislike?

Suggest mild bondage, like handcuffs or tying his hands behind his head. Or blindfolding?

Do you enjoy it when women are dominant in bed and take the lead as far as telling you what to do? ?

oh yes,.

First step - you need the clothes. You can't dominate a guy wearing some wispy little lingerie outfit. Get yourself some butch gear - black leather and so on - use your imagination.

Days in advance (of your attack lol) make him up a check list of things you could do to him/with him. He can check off what he is into or not.

Good luck!

oh yes,.

 

First step - you need the clothes. You can't dominate a guy wearing some wispy little lingerie outfit. Get yourself some butch gear - black leather and so on - use your imagination.

 

Days in advance (of your attack lol) make him up a check list of things you could do to him/with him. He can check off what he is into or not.

 

Good luck!

Asking his permission isn't dominating him and neither is letting him know what you're going to do in advance.

OP,

Being dominant really means being dominant...which means taking total control. Come up behind him one evening and turn him around. Grab his belt and lead him to the bed. When you get there, shove him back on the bed and start unbuckling his belt and go down on him. Talk very dirty. Then take your clothes off and sit on his face for him to go down on you. Rake your nails down his back, smack his butt and generally have your way with him. If you've never done it before, give him a rimjob. Whatever you do...DO NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!

Scott

Asking his permission isn't dominating him and neither is letting him know what you're going to do in advance.

 

OP,

 

Being dominant really means being dominant...which means taking total control. Come up behind him one evening and turn him around. Grab his belt and lead him to the bed. When you get there, shove him back on the bed and start unbuckling his belt and go down on him. Talk very dirty. Then take your clothes off and sit on his face for him to go down on you. Rake your nails down his back, smack his butt and generally have your way with him. If you've never done it before, give him a rimjob. Whatever you do...DO NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!

 

Scott

All very good advice! I think my major stumbling block is putting my pleasure before his. In his words, he wants me to use him like a blow-up doll, which is a little weird for me. I'm turned on by the idea, but our sexual exchanges have always been mutual (bordering more on the side of me pleasing him, to be honest) so getting myself into the proper mindset is definitely challenging! Maybe I should just script it out and see what happens?

All very good advice! I think my major stumbling block is putting my pleasure before his. In his words, he wants me to use him like a blow-up doll, which is a little weird for me. I'm turned on by the idea, but our sexual exchanges have always been mutual (bordering more on the side of me pleasing him, to be honest) so getting myself into the proper mindset is definitely challenging! Maybe I should just script it out and see what happens?

Okay, I see what you're saying. In that case, skip the part about going down on him, and move straight to the sitting on his face. Position him exactly how you want him and YOU control the movement during sex, not him. If it helps, construct an alternate persona, like you're playing a part in a porno. YOU may care about his pleasure, but the CHARACTER you're playing is all about getting hers. Hope that helps.

Scott

Asking his permission isn't dominating him and neither is letting him know what you're going to do in advance.

 

OP,

 

 

 

Scott

Well there's a fine line between dominating someone and raping someone. I've done some dominating before and I've found it handy to have some kind of idea about what is welcome and what isn't beforehand, and not during and in the heat of the moment.

A genuine cry of "oh my god, dear god please dont do that, you disturbing, sadistic pervert" tends to ruin the moment....and then quickly the fantasy role playing.

There is still the element of surprise since the "checklist" is done days earlier.

But whatever works for the OP I suppose.

I had a dominant woman once. She would tell me, "get in the bedroom right now. Take off your clothes, and stand there waiting for me to have my way with you."

Then she would give me instructions....do this to her, don't move a muscle while I'm doing this to you. "After I've climaxed 5 times, it will be your turn."

And we always had a "safe" word, in case it got out of hand. "Spaghettios", LOL!

But pretty hot stuff at the time.

All very good advice! I think my major stumbling block is putting my pleasure before his. In his words, he wants me to use him like a blow-up doll, which is a little weird for me. I'm turned on by the idea, but our sexual exchanges have always been mutual (bordering more on the side of me pleasing him, to be honest) so getting myself into the proper mindset is definitely challenging! Maybe I should just script it out and see what happens?

He wants you to use his body like it's your little sex toy. He wants to feel like you own his body and you can do whatever you please with it. That's what he's asking for.

Throw him onto a bed, tie or handcuff his hands above his head, then sit on his face. Grab his hair and pull on it to direct him to the right spot.

A genuine cry of "oh my god, dear god please dont do that, you disturbing, sadistic pervert" tends to ruin the moment....and then quickly the fantasy role playing.

.

How does that ruin the moment? That is hot.

vHow does that ruin the moment? That is hot.

I think they meant that if you accidentally take it too far you can have a safe word and all that but it's still really going to kill the mood. Their idea about domination might be different (less or more extreme or just plain different) to what yours is. For example I like the idea of a girl really having her way with me rough, but all that leather and bondage doesn't appeal to me at all.

Asking his permission isn't dominating him and neither is letting him know what you're going to do in advance.

Perhaps not while playing a scenario, but since this is their first time switching the power roles they should communicate ahead of time what sort of things they after and where the boundaries lie. Domination can mean different things to different people, it is not wise to just jump into these things.

I think my major stumbling block is putting my pleasure before his.

That doesn't have to change by playing a dominant role. It is just pretending. Domination can be deceptive in that in reality the focus is more often about the satisfaction of the submissive than it is the dominant.

Being dominant really means being dominant...which means taking total control. Come up behind him one evening and turn him around. Grab his belt and lead him to the bed. When you get there, shove him back on the bed and start unbuckling his belt and go down on him. Talk very dirty. Then take your clothes off and sit on his face for him to go down on you. Rake your nails down his back, smack his butt and generally have your way with him. If you've never done it before, give him a rimjob. Whatever you do...DO NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!

I have to say that's going to far. Role-playing is one thing, but if nothing else "safe words" need to be defined beforehand. Otherwise you have no way of knowing if someone is really saying "no". Prominent rape/abuse cases have arisen because of this issue.

I have to say that's going to far. Role-playing is one thing, but if nothing else "safe words" need to be defined beforehand. Otherwise you have no way of knowing if someone is really saying "no". Prominent rape/abuse cases have arisen because of this issue.

Agreed, although I have a difficult time believing I could actually cause damage/do harm to a man who's twice my size.