HOW do you stop being afraid of what other people think???

I am always scared of what other people think, that they will judge me, that they will think I'm no good. I am scared of what my students think (I taught children but now I am back to teaching adults... I find it at times very exhausting to be so scared that they are all judging me).

I worry about my students judging me, making fun of me and about not pleasing them enough (if they need something special, I'm afraid of not finding it, not finding it fast enough, saying no to them, ...)... if they need a gramatical explanation and I forgot the reason for the grammatical rule, I'm afraid they will make fun of me if I tell them I'll check and get back to them later about it....(sometimes questions pop up in class and I am not prepared for them)

I'm afraid of what my neighbours think I'm afraid of what my family thinks... I have no motivation to make friends / call rare friends (that seldom call me...)... I just wanna be alone...

I'm so tired of it, I have no more energy for this... I just wanna be content and look after my own peace of mind, ... do my best but it FEELS like my best is never good enough (so I don't even GIVE my best as a result). I'd also like to make ONE friend, a GOOD friend...

I'm pretty sad and I think this is causing me a LOT of fatigue...

Here is what one teacher I know does. If she is asked a question to which she doesn't know the answer she sets it as homework for the class to research and report back the next day.

Sounds like you have some self-image and security problems.

I used to be a lot like you...I worried a lot about what people thought of me. When I fell in love with an older man (I am with him now too), I realized that only I knew what was best for me, and that people could say/think bad things about me but that I can't let that affect my happiness. THEY ARE NOT ME AND ARE NOT IN MY SHOES. How can they possibly know my thought process or relationship?

You have to own your own happiness. Don't live for other people - they certainly don't live for you. I'd explore why you keep feeling like you need to put out your "best" for other people. You're under no obligation to do that. Your life is your own and you live it for yourself.

You're the teacher, this is your domain. They are learning students...they aren't on your level, they are below it (for the most part). If they ask something you don't know, have them research it on their own. You're not obligated to know EVERYTHING.

I get over it by realising that no matter what I do, I can't control how others see me.

I mean, if someone doesn't like you, so what? Why is their approval so necessary? If someone really thinks you're an idiot, what's the worst that's going to happen?

you are all so sweet and thoughtful... thank you.

I try to tell myself those things but it's hard to actually live it.

Fudgie

"I'd explore why you keep feeling like you need to put out your "best" for other people. You're under no obligation to do that....

...You're not obligated to know EVERYTHING. "

Thanks! That was really helpful! I really have a problem, I know it. Worse is I have been in therapy several times before!

DN

"Here is what one teacher I know does. If she is asked a question to which she doesn't know the answer she sets it as homework for the class to research and report back the next day. "

thanks that is a great idea!

One thing to remember is this. Unless you are positively and outright nasty, few people who come into contact with you on a daily basis that are not your friends think about you anywhere near as much as you think they do.

One thing to remember is this. Unless you are positively and outright nasty, few people who come into contact with you on a daily basis that are not your friends think about you anywhere near as much as you think they do.

lol I head that you shouldn't worry so much about what people think cause "they don't do it much" lol.

as much as I try to reason it out, it's hard....

ps I'm not nasty but I'm terrifed of being treated like a doormat. I'm afraid of being too nice. Other times I'm afraid of being to mean (like if I say 'no" to someone). It gets confusing and tireing.

Don't allow other people to be the cause or removal of your own self-esteem. Self-esteem comes from within and so long as you do the best you can and live your life accordingly then you are already a complete person and don't need the good opinions of others. It's nice to be well-regarded but it's an extra not a necessity.

Reminds me of a Bill Cosby quote: "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."

Reminds me of a Bill Cosby quote: "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."

oh that's a good one easyguy!

and DN, also very helpful last post. I just wish I'd GET it.

lol at least I'm not in the "getting back together" section like 2 years ago... where all I could think was how incomplete I was without HIM.

I guess I AM growing.

I'm really quiet the opposite. I don't care what people think and I really should because not caring has caused great difficulty in my life. I'm overconfident in some areas and that is because my parents instilled me with high self-esteem. I felt beat up by the world and home has always been a safe place for me, although my mom has a harsh tongue, my dad's influence was strong.

I'm really quiet the opposite. I don't care what people think and I really should because not caring has caused great difficulty in my life. I'm overconfident in some areas and that is because my parents instilled me with high self-esteem. I felt beat up by the world and home has always been a safe place for me, although my mom has a harsh tongue, my dad's influence was strong.

wow. explain what kinds of problems self-confidence and high self-esteem caused you please? I'm very interested!

and what's wrong with coming howm to a safe place?

I hope you're doing better now, anyhow!

thanks