Jump to content

Why do shy people act so stuck-up?


simplegirl

Recommended Posts

Just curious

 

 

i realized after having a thing for some shy guys... they act really stuck up.

like they are too good to talk to anyone?

Well i use to like this guy and I thought "maybe i should talk to him more"

so i tried, and he acted so standoffish. I thought it was kind of rude? Do you think you're too good to talk to me? I figured he was shy by watching his body language in class. But why do shy people act like that?

 

Im not a mean girl, i meant well. Heck even throwing him a sincere compliment made him feel uneasy and acted like he was scared or didnt want to be around me?

Whats up with that?

 

I have no idea how to tell if a shy person like someone. Because they often act really rude and uninterested

does anyone else share the same experience?

 

I dont mean to be offensive.

Link to comment

Shy people, or introverted people, are labeled as "stuck up" since they're not the type to go around and throw hugs at friends and strike a friendly conversation with a lot of people. It's not that they think they're better than everyone... They just try to distance themselves from people because, well, they're shy and probably easily embarrassed. Don't take it to heart.

Link to comment
I don't think shy people are "stuck up"...they are just perceived this way.

 

Some people just clam up when they are uncomfortable and don't talk. It's because they are nervous, not because they are "stuck up" or "too good" for you.

 

but they really do come off as if they are better than anyone else they don't know.

If i wanted to hurt you, I would come out with it, i'd tell you "hey i dont like you". And thats not how i feel. I do want to get to know you, but how can I when someone acts like they are too good for anyone?

 

It just really irritates me. I added the guy on facebook right, and he accepted so i thought 'ok at least he doesn't hate me enough to accept my request' but whenever i say "hey how are you?" he just ignores me. I thought that was so rude. But in class he always looks at me. Whats up with that? At first i thought 'maybe he doesnt use fb too much' but he does, cause I seen his wall-feed and he was talking to this guy he always hangs out with.

 

And I thought how rude it was. To ignore someone like that

Link to comment

 

It just really irritates me. I added the guy on facebook right, and he accepted so i thought 'ok at least he doesn't hate me enough to accept my request' but whenever i say "hey how are you?" he just ignores me. I thought that was so rude. But in class he always looks at me. Whats up with that? At first i thought 'maybe he doesnt use fb too much' but he does, cause I seen his wall-feed and he was talking to this guy he always hangs out with.

 

And I thought how rude it was. To ignore someone like that

 

He may not be shy. A girl did this to me and she is not shy. She was not interested in me. Some people add new friends and do not know the people.

Link to comment
but they really do come off as if they are better than anyone else they don't know.

 

And I thought how rude it was. To ignore someone like that

 

I know they come off that way but really, they are just shy.

 

I used to be horrendously shy and lots of people thought I was stuck up. I was just scared to talk to people.

 

Add in a bit of social awkwardness/ineptness and the fact that they may clam up, and they are going to seem like they are better than anyone else.

 

Shyness really cripples you, I have to tell you. You feel like you want to reach out but you just CAN'T. You really don't mean to come off poorly but you just do, sometimes without realizing it.

 

And Mr. Franklin is right..maybe he's not shy...maybe he's just uninterested. It can be either. But I can tell you I've been shy and been with shy people and the scenario you have described is very believable for a shy person.

Link to comment
I know they come off that way but really, they are just shy.

 

I used to be horrendously shy and lots of people thought I was stuck up. I was just scared to talk to people.

 

Add in a bit of social awkwardness/ineptness and the fact that they may clam up, and they are going to seem like they are better than anyone else.

 

Shyness really cripples you, I have to tell you. You feel like you want to reach out but you just CAN'T. You really don't mean to come off poorly but you just do, sometimes without realizing it.

 

And Mr. Franklin is right..maybe he's not shy...maybe he's just uninterested. It can be either. But I can tell you I've been shy and been with shy people and the scenario you have described is very believable for a shy person.

 

Oh I see. Its really unfortunate because I actually would want to be friends with him. Its not like I wanted to date him

I find him to be really intriguing and judging so far, he's really intelligent

i honestly don't know how else i could reach out to him after ignoring me like that on facebook

 

i want to just come out with it 'hi why do you act so stuck-up'

i just don't think it's really nice...

Link to comment
Oh I see. Its really unfortunate because I actually would want to be friends with him. Its not like I wanted to date him

I find him to be really intriguing and judging so far, he's really intelligent

i honestly don't know how else i could reach out to him after ignoring me like that on facebook

 

i want to just come out with it 'hi why do you act so stuck-up'

i just don't think it's really nice...

 

You're right...it's not. It still stinks for you.

But I think it helps to know that if the person is a shy one, that they may not mean to come off that way. It just happens. Their intentions may not be bad.

Link to comment
You're right...it's not. It still stinks for you.

But I think it helps to know that if the person is a shy one, that they may not mean to come off that way. It just happens. Their intentions may not be bad.

 

But it seems that way

i mean now my friend is friends with his friend.

and he wants us to hang out together?

and I am skeptical about this happening because judging by all of whats happened so far, i think he hates me

Link to comment

I was a shy and nervous wreck in high school , but have since slid out of my shell a fair bit. It's not that I felt I was too good for others. Just , you know , around girls in particular , I needed the right kind of vibe from a female counterpart to help nourish my sense of social comfort. Even now , having come out of my shell , there are still girls I am uncomfortable talking to. It's nothing I fret about , I just let guys with an appropriate personality work it with certain girls. A lot of my friends now are female , so the tables have turned in that regard since high school.

 

Sometimes you can only do so much before you have to move on. Human behavior , even for people who are not shy , can be confusing. Not everyone is tactful , or knows how to relate to others. It took me years to just be friendly to people by even asking simple questions like "How are you?", "How was your day?" , et cetera.

Link to comment

Funny how Bella in Twilight was still uncontrollably drawn to Edward, who wouldn't say more than two words and made nasty faces at her in science class, but for some reason it was hot. Joe Blow shyguy doesn't talk and he's stuck up.

 

Shy people don't talk as much. Doesn't mean they're stuck up.

Link to comment

Coming accross as aloof or standoffish is a very common defense mechanism for shy people. They aren't actually standing around, thinking they are better than everyone else in the room. The irony is that it usually is quite the opposite. They use this demeanor to minimize their interaction (and therefore, risk) with other people.

 

When you are open and extroverted, you run certain risks that scare the h*ll out of shy people. What if they give me a dirty look? What if they don't return my hug? What if they don't like my joke? When you surround yourself with all of these fears, but at the same time don't want to be a recluse, the very common response is to be near other people, but also adopt a reserved personality.

 

It's true that there isn't always much that you can do to lure them out of their self-imposed shell. Many times it simply takes time and familiarity for them to allow more exposure. I think for you, it might be helpful to simply understand what they are going through. If you can see your interaction from their perspective, it should help you interpret their seemingly cold reactions. They are definitely not what they appear to be on the surface.

Link to comment
Funny how Bella in Twilight was still uncontrollably drawn to Edward, who wouldn't say more than two words and made nasty faces at her in science class, but for some reason it was hot. Joe Blow shyguy doesn't talk and he's stuck up.

 

Shy people don't talk as much. Doesn't mean they're stuck up.

 

yes i find shy people intriguing.

Link to comment

I'm quite shy. I definitely don't think I'm better than anyone. I just sometimes don't have a lot to say, depending on who I'm around. I'm not shy at all around close friends and family.

 

If someone is quiet, and they seem shy or aloof.. I assume just that. It's usually pretty easy to spot someone who is shy. On the other hand, someone who is stuck up may not speak, but I feel their is a confidence to them that the shy people lack. They don't want to talk because they feel they are too good to speak to you, NOT because they are shy in any way. I hope that makes sense, but I think there's a distinct difference between shy and stuck up people. (Of course there are shy and stuck up people, too, like you say)

Link to comment

Whats up with that?

 

I have no idea how to tell if a shy person like someone. Because they often act really rude and uninterested

does anyone else share the same experience?

 

its mostly insecurity i guess. unfortunately that's why they have problems finding a gf - they send wrong signals. not many girls would bother flirting with a guy who's actions say f... off ... while deep down he maybe wants to get to know her better. after all why subject yourself to seem pushy and dumb in case he is really not interested.

Link to comment

I'm very shy and insecure around people that I don't know. I'm afraid to say anything because I may not have anything interesting to say or it may sound stupid. I'm definitely not thinking that I'm better than anyone. Usually, I'm thinking that I'm not as good or as interesting! I've had SOOO many people tell me that they thought that I was such a b*tch when they first saw me or met me and they can't believe that I'm not that way at all! Give the guy a chance to warm up. It may take you reaching out to him a few more times before he can feel comfortable enough to open up and be friends.

Link to comment
its mostly insecurity i guess. unfortunately that's why they have problems finding a gf - they send wrong signals. not many girls would bother flirting with a guy who's actions say f... off ... while deep down he maybe wants to get to know her better. after all why subject yourself to seem pushy and dumb in case he is really not interested.

 

Ugh it sucks because I find myself really really attracted to shy guys.

Link to comment
I'm very shy and insecure around people that I don't know. I'm afraid to say anything because I may not have anything interesting to say or it may sound stupid. I'm definitely not thinking that I'm better than anyone. Usually, I'm thinking that I'm not as good or as interesting! I've had SOOO many people tell me that they thought that I was such a b*tch when they first saw me or met me and they can't believe that I'm not that way at all! Give the guy a chance to warm up. It may take you reaching out to him a few more times before he can feel comfortable enough to open up and be friends.

 

But what should i say?

I wont see him anymore after class had ended.

I don't want to well seem needy and pushy if i say 'hello' one more time on facebook, to have him not reply.

 

Argh

Link to comment

Most shy people do not have very good social skills. So they don't know how to really engage, talk and be very open. I don't think they intentionally mean to appear stuck-up; but it's just that conversation startles them (especially form people they have an interest in). They don't know what to say, how to say it or how to really conduct themselves because they're not comfortable in a social setting as someone would who is more out going.

 

I know of a friend, really nice girl, but she is shy as hell. She was an interest at one time but just a little bit too shy for me. For instance, we went to a movie last weekend and rather than call and say she had a great time, she sends me an email......

 

She means well, I don't think she was being stuck up by the gesture but just that sometimes I think she gets a little nervous with the situation. Very nice, very sweetheart kinda of person, but just way too shy for me. Sometimes even though a person may be shy you got to bend with them a little and try to make them feel more at ease with the situation. If it doesn't work, then maybe it's just not meant to be. But not everbody that's shy is stuck up. Give the guy a chance.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...