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Why do some women prefer the Ghetto Black Men stereotype?


Mr. Franklin

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I know the famous question "Why do girls like bad boys" has been answered countless of times. It's not always about being a bad boy criminal. It's about the attitude, lifestyle, and how the women is treated.

 

Before you continue reading this post let me tell you that this is completely based on my experience as a black man living in the south of the US.

 

During this current generation I feel that black men seem to have a certain standard to hold to attract women. It's mostly a very negative standard. Being a ghetto stereotype seems to attract all types of women. A below average black ghetto stereotype can pick a 10.

 

Now some of you wonder why I asked this question because I mention in the first paragraph about the bad boys. In my opinion being a ghetto stereotype takes the bad boy to another level. What are these stereotypes known to do? Not all ghetto stereotypes have all of these traits.

 

1. Drug Users- One of the negative stereotypical traits of ghetto stereotypes is very risk taking. It can lead to jail or prison time.

2. Dead Beat Dads- More and more black children are being raised in single parents homes. This is a problem in the black community. In recent sociological studies have found that black men may have some feminine qualities because they were only raised by a mother who took on both parent roles.

3. Clothing- Sagging pants, bagging clothing

4. Gang Members- All street gangs have ghetto stereotypical traits.

5. Does not know his Es and Rs.

 

So what about the non-stereotypical black man? Where does this leaves us? Some people rudely say to me that I am trying to be white, but I am only acting as myself. We wear more fitting clothes and have our belts above our waist. They rarely use any slang words instead they speak proper English.

 

Are the non-ghetto black men bad boys? Of course not. However at the same time they am not a "nice guy". We still don't kiss ass to hope a woman will like us. We have confidence and take risk by approaching women.

 

There are a few non-ghetto stereotypes on campus including myself. Out of the few of us only 2 get dates. They are both muscular, and one is considered the best looking guy on campus. The other guy only has muscles. He relies on his parents for money, has no hair line, and a terrible smile. So both have the athletic look working for them.

 

Why do some women prefer the Ghetto Black Men stereotype?

 

Discuss!

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As a white/hispanic woman, who has been raised by a professional father and a God-loving mother, I have never once felt I should chase after hardcore bad boy types. Excitement is something all women love, no doubt- But when I went out with this one bad boy for a little over a year, I found out that all the glitz and glamor of being with a bad boy wasn't worth all the heartbreak and pain in the end. I never chased my ex, by the way- He asked me out and I thought maybe he was going through a tough phase in his life. He is still a bad boy, but probably ten times worse. Good riddance.

 

I never believe in the whole "acting white/black" mentality. You are who you are. You are a productive member of society, and that suddenly makes you "white"? That doesn't make sense and in this generation, people should get over themselves and grow up. Black people should be given the opportunity to thrive on being successful people. There is a bad side to white people too; The KKK groups, the neo nazis, and the lovable and ignorant hill billies.

 

Be yourself OP, and ignore the haters. They're probably jealous.

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definitely, the bad boy attraction is the major draw IMO.

 

Speaking personally, of the black men I've known during my life the one who attracted BY FAR the most ladies did not dress or act ghetto. He was just a wit and style-wise dressed in a sharp urban-chic fashion (polo's, kangol hats etc.) and simply a riot to be around.

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I would definitely NOT be interested in this sort of person.

 

 

1. Drug Users- One of the negative stereotypical traits of ghetto stereotypes is very risk taking. It can lead to jail or prison time.

2. Dead Beat Dads- More and more black children are being raised in single parents homes. This is a problem in the black community. In recent sociological studies have found that black men may have some feminine qualities because they were only raised by a mother who took on both parent roles.

3. Clothing- Sagging pants, bagging clothing

4. Gang Members- All street gangs have ghetto stereotypical traits.

5. Does not know his Es and Rs.

 

The traits you have mentioned above are ones I find disgusting. Having just one of these traits would be enough to make me run for the hills.

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When I was younger, I was drawn to this type of man. More specifically, gang members. I was mixed in the wrong place myself. Now that I've gotten older...Scratch that, matured - There is no longer any appeal for me.

 

Some reasons why I was attracted? Excitement factor, naturally. Believe it or not, feeling 'protected'. This is actually really ludicrous considering there's nothing safe about it, complete opposite. Growing up where I did, I gave into the pressures of the street and it became a norm for me.

 

Not to mention the fact, I wasn't mentally stable in the slightest. I wouldn't have had a clue what a good man was.

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As a 1/2 Black/1/4 rican/1/4 white woman(yep multiracial) I have to say that isn't my type. I do specifically date black men and latin men, but I don't go for the gang-bangers. Though a lot of my bf's have had interesting lives(many of them may have been raised in bad areas but have risen above the circumstances). I don't really see why the clothing(sagging pants) is that much of an issue though, I see it as a trend(a cultural one) the same as skinny jeans on men, and a goth look--all of these clothing styles are merely trends and not all of them are good representations of a person's character or morals. So while I don't care for men with baggy pants, I also don't judge them or write them off for having that look.

Honestly I don't know many women that prefer this type of man, unless your in predimonent area where this type of man exists. Additionally I think that in every culture and race their is perceived "bad boy" and that nice men do tend to finish last(it appears). So I would chalk up to that(if anything) and not so much the fact that "ghetto black men" are cool, but more so that women in general when their younger tend to have a thing for bad boys--no matter the race or culture. And I don't think many sophisticated or classy women would prefer any of the types that you've described.

College is an interesting time in your life.

Maybe you should try to date women outside of the college experience?

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When I think of "tough, black guy" (not "ghetto" persay), I think of Will Smith in "Bad Boys" (yummmm). A no BS attitude, tough, funny, sexy, flirty and smart/one step ahead. I don't equate "ghetto black guy" with druggies, dead beat dads or baggy clothes, as I think you can find "that kind of guy" almost anywhere.

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When I was your age 19 or 20, I remember feeling exactly how you felt. All the ladies my age were going after the thugs and hanging around all the jerks. Hanging out all times of the night, clubbing, drinking, partying and doing things up at the caboree's and lounges. I was in the house a lot during that time; I wasn't into that kind of lifestyle so I didn't trail behind that. And I remember getting passed over quite a bit. I was the 'nice' guy; I didn't know any better or any different and all I wanted was somebody who could understand me and all that I had to offer. I sat back and just watched as the women of my age went on there adventures and I just stayed behind on my own ship, hoping somebody would join me. That next year, someone did come along. I met a nice woman, NICE, she was perfect for me at that time; so different then anything else I had ever met in my life - she was like a Godsend. For once I had met somebody that liked me for me. We eventually fell in love and I'm telling you it was such a beautiful feeling knowing that you have a woman like that in your corner, such a standout from the rest.

 

We eventually broke up, but that's beside the point!

 

Always, always, always be yourself. Don't fall victim to that trend of trying to fit in. It'll never work in your favor. When you are yourself, you're more likely to find someone to suit your liking. But you have to be resilient and you have to be able to take a little bit of rejection sometime to get there. Don't settle and don't give up, keep faith and always walk with your head held high. If it could happen for me one time, it can happen for me again. And if it can happen for me, it can happen for you, too.

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Always, always, always be yourself. Don't fall victim to that trend of trying to fit in. It'll never work in your favor. When you are yourself, you're more likely to find someone to suit your liking. But you have to be resilient and you have to be able to take a little bit of rejection sometime to get there. Don't settle and don't give up, keep faith and always walk with your head held high. If it could happen for me one time, it can happen for me again. And if it can happen for me, it can happen for you, too.

 

Indeed.

 

Walking your own path is a significant part of living a quality , authentic , genuine life. When you live with your head high and are not afraid of being you , the world will respond with benevolence , if not tomorrow , then in time when you instill on a deep level a layer of patience.

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And don't let being single tarnish your holistic identity. We often put so much emphasis on our relationship status , that we impose on ourselves limitations that hinder us from liberating the mind from such associations. Not detachment , un-attachment.

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The " ghetto black man ", in my books, is as unattractive and disgusting as the " lazy, fat, white, trucker dude with a trucker hat in a trailer park somewhere ". If we really do have to get down to stereotypes, it's pretty sad because more often than not, I find that these ghetto guys actually LIKE being considered " ghetto " or propagate their " hardness " and " toughness " through a ridiculous image of baggy pants that are falling off the ass, gawdy jewellery, nasty " grillzzz " etc, while dropping horrible lines on women. I find it BEYOND unattractive.

 

And this is what young women consider " bad ass " ? OMG. I often think of drunken, slurring clowns when I see a ghetto black guy trying to act all " hard ". It actually sends cringes down my neck.

 

To me, what is a " bad boy " ? A " bad boy " is someone who won't take BULL * * * * from anyone, while being a perfect gentleman. He uses wit, an impeccable sense of smarts ( shrewdness if you will ) with a touch of " omnipotence " AND charm to carry out his decisions decisively and directly to get what he wants in life. He can play with the big sharks at whim and charm them off. Someone who knows how to be the puppeteer...el magico...the big kahuna behind the curtains Now thaattt...to me...is sexy. Now that's baaaaaddddddd.

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Because they show what rappers show:

 

Money (human survival)

 

Sex (keep the race going)

 

Dominance/Power/Alpha Male (Muscles)

 

So the guy can wear jewelry and look rich like a provider. Or he can wear a take top and muscles and have sex appeal/trigger that need to be protected that women have. This all comes down to the reptilian brain. These guys naturally trigger womens most primal/attraction urges without them knowing. The guys don't even know either.

 

Chances are she's of low caliber if she falls for that and isn't worth any guys time other than just sex.

 

So if she likes him because he's a BAD BOY her mother instinct is saying "Maybe I can help him. I can change him." So they try to tame the wild animal and it gives them a rush because he's standing up for himself (BEING DOMINANT)

 

She doesn't test the "Clean Guy" cuz she doesn't see a challange. She thinks "Look at that guy. He's cute but I could have him if I wanted to." Plus they risk getting married to the clean guy. With the bad boy if they are not ready to get married yet, they get all the sex and passion the desire with not much attachment. This is why they get pregnant and are single mothers.

 

Men dominate. Women submit thier bodies. That's how attraction works. Plain and simple.

 

All a man has to do is show male DOMINACE and SEXUALITY. You won't even need to speak 10 words and you'll already be having sex with her. So because I like to dress clean, fit clothes ect I don't show sexuality... but I convey it in my actions and words (flirting)

 

I don't mind. I like the chase

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Because they show what rappers show:

 

Money (human survial)

 

Sex (keep the race going)

 

So the guy can wear jewelry and look rich like a provider. Or he can wear a take top and muscles and have sex appeal/trigger that need to be protected that women have. This all comes down to the reptilian brain. These guys naturally trigger womens most primal/attraction urges without them knowing. The guys don't even know either.

 

Chances are she's of low caliber if she falls for that and isn't worth any guys time other than just sex.

 

These guys do know what is going on. They understand why they are found attractive. The Bad Boy, rich, and big muscles attractions are common knowledge.

 

There are plenty of high and low caliber women who are attracted to these men for more than just sex.

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These guys do know what is going on. They understand why they are found attractive. The Bad Boy, rich, and big muscles attractions are common knowledge.

 

There are plenty of high and low caliber women who are attracted to these men for more than just sex.

 

They must be doing something right..go befriend one of these, and look at their behavior. Learn from them..not their lifestyle, but how they conduct themselves.

 

Upon learning their behavior, try to apply it n your own life and make slight adjustments.

 

Good luck man.

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I agree and disagree. I friend of mine think he's "got game" and is a playboy. He's got no clue. He just says "Girls just like me" I'm like... yea.. cuz your so awesome" lol. I noticed that generalisation. ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. So a high caliber women can have those urges triggered as well. I agree it's common knowledge. Though some guys just dont get it. I was raised on a lot of disney movies so I was one of them lol.

 

Sex is sex. It's just sad that we live in a world that somewhat forces a women to pretend she isn't sexual just so she won't be seen as "gets around" or goes for the "BAD BOY" that sometimes ruins her for other men. So as I said in other post there are 3 categories:

 

NICE GUY=CHUMP

GOOD GUY=ALPHA MALE

BAD GUY=UNDER-ACHIEVER/ABUSIVE

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I respect your opinion. I should call it "The agreement for both parties to engage in sexual intercourse." I don't want to come off as a sexist and did not mean to generalise. However, if a women didn't "allow" or "submit her body" to a man to have sex with her, that would be rape.

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I respect your opinion. I should call it "The agreement for both parties to engage in sexual intercourse." I don't want to come off as a sexist and did not mean to generalise. However, if a women didn't "allow" or "submit her body" to a man to have sex with her, that would be rape.

 

And if a man didn't "allow" or "submit his body", it'd still be rape.

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They must be doing something right..go befriend one of these, and look at their behavior. Learn from them..not their lifestyle, but how they conduct themselves.

 

Upon learning their behavior, try to apply it n your own life and make slight adjustments.

 

Good luck man.

 

I have the same basic behavior as them. I walk straight with my head. I smile. I'm not nervous when I speak to women.

 

I disagree. There are plenty of women who love dominating and plenty of men who love being dominated for that to be true.

 

It's not plain and simple. Attraction is actually quite mysterious and tricky.

 

I agree completely agree with you. If attraction was just set in stone then everyone would be attracted to the same things, and that's not the case. We all have urges for different reasons.

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