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Thread: I haven't been on a date in a year

  1. #1
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    I haven't been on a date in a year

    The year just kind of...flew by. So much has happened in the past year, so many transitions in my life. I just realized recently that I have not been on a single date this entire time. It's almost like that part of myself has been turned off as I've been trying to figure out other aspects of my life. And the weird thing (for me) is...I don't miss it. I've always been concerned (since high school) about finding "the one," getting married and having kids. If you met me in high school I would have insisted that I would meet my husband in college, get married at 26 (my age now) and have a child on the way. I feel weirdly not like a full person sometimes because this whole part of my life is non-existent and for the first time I really don't care. On a Friday or Saturday night, I'd rather watch tv by myself than go on a date. If I get a free weekend, I'd rather go for a walk alone. I don't have any revelations to share. I didn't really have an "aha" moment out of all this. I just find it all a little bit curious.




     

    "When I fall in love, I take my time." - Jason Mraz
    "Can't sing but I've got soul." - U2

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    Platinum Member littlestar's Avatar
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    You are a full person and you are whole as you are. People make the big mistake thinking they NEED someone in their lives to make them whole, this is so untrue and a trap to many people fall into.
    If you do nothing, nothing is going to happen, if you do something, something might happen, The Future is yours, do something about it!

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    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
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    Well we all go through periods in our life where guys take a back seat, but you're realization means they're about to move into priority status. You're getting older, you need to think about settling down and finding the one. Maybe you got burned and needed time to heal but it's time to open yourself back up to dating. Get out there, before it's too late to have kids. It takes about 2-3 years to build a relationship, a good solid one so the time is now.
    "Reality is what won't go away when you stop believing in it."
    -Phillip K*

    "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
    -Carl Jung

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    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
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    There is nothing wrong with feeling like that. I think society pushes this whole notion of being coupled up so that people feel like they have to put themselves out there. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to date and just wanting to focus on other things in your life. When you are ready to get back into it you will..be it a few months from now, another year from now or whenever.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member orchidrose's Avatar
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    I'm kind of hitting this point, too, and honestly, it feels great. It's timed out that I've been on about a date every three months or so since I broke up with my last boyfriend. Nothing's panned out, and after every date, I'm kind of thankful that's the case. I like spending time with me. I like investing all of my time and energy into making myself a better person and doing things I enjoy.

  7. #6
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    i felt like that too until a week ago. i had no intention of dating. then i went to a birthday party of a female friend, where i met this fabulous gay man, who took me to another party, where i wound up meeting a straight man i now have a crush on, lol. I think just keep your options open, and hang out with people.
    There's no place like 127.0.0.1.



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    Platinum Member BellaDonna's Avatar
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    On a Friday or Saturday night, I'd rather watch tv by myself than go on a date. If I get a free weekend, I'd rather go for a walk alone. I don't have any revelations to share. I didn't really have an "aha" moment out of all this. I just find it all a little bit curious.
    Hi lady00. I think it is completely normal to feel what you are feeling. Your job seems to be taking up so much of your energy these days that you probably just want to use your free time for yourself, to relax.

    Aside from dating, just be careful not to socially isolate yourself (in general) too much. Are you finding that you spend less time than you used to with friends and family as well?
    Carly, don't be sad
    Life is crazy, life is mad
    Don't be afraid
    Carly, don't be sad
    That's your destiny, the only chance
    Take it, take it in your hands



    Well behaved women rarely make history.

  9. #8

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    It's been about a year since I've been on a date myself. It doesn't bother me.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
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    I haven't gone on a date in over a year and it doesn't really faze me any more. I do eventually want to date but it isn't high on my priorities right now. Since I lost my job, besides job hunting, I have also concentrated on improving my life by working out and losing weight.

    I think I will be ready to date when feel more comfortable about myself and my looks.

    Eventually, you will get to a point though, that you want to meet a guy. Remember, when you are happiest with yourself, is when a guy usually shows up in your life.
    <---- sleepy Jasper

  11. #10
    Platinum Member BriarRose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jetta View Post
    Well we all go through periods in our life where guys take a back seat, but you're realization means they're about to move into priority status. You're getting older, you need to think about settling down and finding the one. Maybe you got burned and needed time to heal but it's time to open yourself back up to dating. Get out there, before it's too late to have kids. It takes about 2-3 years to build a relationship, a good solid one so the time is now.
    I agree with this. While I completely understand not wanting to be out there, let me tell you the time flies. Don't let it fly for too many years. I mean, if you want to be alone, that's fine - but if you feel that one day you would like to have a partner, don't get stuck in a rut where you completely stop going out. That's all I mean.

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