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Is FWB falling for me?


Shylight

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My FWB and I have been sleeping together for roughly 3 months. He and I do everything together on his days off. Its been the same pattern for these 3 months, I go over to his house every tuesday, sometimes monday, and I sleep over until Friday. The sex is great, I'd say were pretty good friends on top of being lovers. He quite literally invites me over the second he wakes up on tuesday. Things have been kind of rocky for a few weeks now since his ex-girlfriend came over and he slept with her 1 time and a few weeks later went on a date with a 17 year old (he's 24). I got jealous and tried to break it off with him but ended up coming right back.

 

Not too long ago we had some friends of mine over, and I ended up getting affectionate with one of the guys right in front of my lover. All I did was sit on his lap for a few hours.

 

When they left, my lover was FURIOUS with me. He told me he felt like I made a fool of him in front of two of his friends who were also there, he says I ignored him, though I disagree and that it was plain disrespectful for me to get affectinate with someone right in front of him. When I asked him what the difference between him sleeping with his ex and me becoming affectionate with someone, he said that both times with his ex and the 17 year old he never did these things in front of me or tell me about them.

I suspect what really happened is he got jealous - I cannot see any reason other that why he would get so upset. I talked to his other two friends who understand our FWB relationship and they both agreed I did nothing wrong.

 

I have gone on a couple dates and do have a very mild interest in a few people. He is aware of this and teases me about going with them, and in the past has encouraged me to do things with them. (Yet, when we had the above fight, He admited he was partially joking about this) Other things he does that make me feel like he is partially possesive of me are he gets upset when I can't be with him on his days off, he admits he is kind of dependant on me, teases me about going on dates with other people.

 

Maybe I am reading this all wrong, because I know he is looking dates with other women, though he's not very successful. Clearly if he wanted to date me, than he and I would be together.

 

Still I cannot help but question his recent reactions to my affections with my friend. WHen he tells me he's talking with another girl, I tease him about it despite my jealousy - hence I'm wondering if he's doing the same with me.

His co-worker told me he noticed that my lover seemed eerie about me making friends with him so easily. He also asks me who I'm texting frequently.

I once played a joke on our circle of friends and told them I was in a relationship outside of him, (he wasn't present at this get -together) and his best friends first reaction was "He's not going to like this news...."

 

Am I guessing this wrong? My lover knows that I like him and want to date him.

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I'm sure if he has any sort of romantic feelings for you then he wouldn't be acting jealous.

 

Have you two talked about this situation in depth? It could get ugly where one of you or both of you will end up hurting if these situations involving jealousy is surfacing. To me it would be more healthy to either date or stop the FWB to get a clear mental picture of where you two are at.

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I have often read other stories about FWBs here on ENA and it is a common occurrence that the male gets possessive and jealous even though he goes off with other women. It has nothing to do with love and falling for the FWB, it has to do with being territorial. It is the old double standard...he wants to be the only person YOU are having sex with but he doesn't want you to be the only person HE is having sex with. Also, often the male is concerned that if the female becomes interested in someone else he will no longer have his convenient sex partner at his whim. Don't mistake his jealousy for love...he really cared about you then you would be his girlfriend and he would only have eyes for you and not other women.

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You are kidding yourself here. You are far too close for this to be a FWB.

 

Realistically, there are ony two options available - either get together as bf and gf, or end it and go your separate ways. If you continue to play these stupid games one of you (probably you) will end up bitter and hurt.

 

Talk to him about it and make a decision, it really can't go on like that.

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