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  1. #1
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    She won't even kiss me anymore...

    I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over a year now. At the start we were having sex all the time, and after a few months it dropped to a lesser amount, as expected. Over the past five or so months, we've barely had any physical contact at all.

    And when I say physical contact, I mean everything. And it's not for lack of trying on my part. I've tried to get her in the mood, but she just doesn't want to do anything. It's a chore to even get her to kiss me, let alone make out with me. She usually lets out a sigh and give me a quick peck and turns away.

    I've tried a change of scenery. We usually hang out over her house, and but lately we've been coming to my place more often. We even went away for the weekend a couple months back, and nothing.

    I've tried talking to her about it, and I've expressed to her that I feel a good sex drive is important to our relationship, but nothing's changed. She continually tells me that it's nothing that is my fault and that she doesn't know why she feels that way, and assures me nothing is wrong. She even says nothing else is wrong with the relationship, and I don't want to keep prying into it. Every time I bring it up she acts like all I want from her is sex. Every time we talk about it she tells me she'll work on it, but the next time I bring it up she tells me she hasn't really thought about it at all.


    I really love this girl and I want to try to make this work, but I've run out of ideas on what to say or do. It just seems like she doesn't care about it at all.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
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    Do you love each other?
    Look for the good in yourself and others, it will change your life.

  3. #3
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    Yes?

    I love her.

    She says she loves me, and I believe her.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
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    I would ask her in what way you can show her that you love her that will have meaning for her. A person who feels loved acts lovingly.
    Look for the good in yourself and others, it will change your life.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
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    It's hard to see how 'nothing else is wrong with the relationship' - I bet you don't feel that way.

    Does this date back to anything? Christmas? A bereavement? DId you try something in bed she wasn't perhaps too keen on? Is she depressed or under stress out in the world some way?
    It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, It is because we do not dare that they are difficult. (Seneca)

  6. #6
    Platinum Member In the Dark's Avatar
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    She may have just gone off you.
    You were new at first but now just the same old magazine no matter how you rearrange the pictures and articles, it's still the same.

    If she's still in love you she would still desire to have sex with you.

    Otherwise it it's the term "Loves you but not in love with you.
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the World will know peace -Sri Chinmoy Ghose

  7. #7
    Platinum Member karvala's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, I think you need to sit her down, relax her as much as humanly possible, be calm, be gentle, and ask her, emphasising that she must be honest above all else, whether or not she's still attracted to you. I say unfortuantely, beacuse I suspect if she's honest the answer will be no. That's no comment on you; people do lose their attraction for other people sometimes, regardless of how the other person is. It's a tough scenario. I do hope I'm wrong, though.
    May you live all the days of your life

    Trying to heal from after a breakup? Perhaps you need Enhanced No Contact: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1438257

  8. #8
    Platinum Member
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    This is not a relationship. It will probably be a waste of time talking to her but if she won't even touch you it seems too far gone to salvage. If I were you I would move on because loving someone isn't enough without a good sexual relationship as well. Don't let her guilt you into 'you only want sex' because that is nonsense.

  9. #9
    Bronze Member
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    Have a cookout and invite another girl to join the two of you for the evening. If she doesn't get the message then, she's never going to get it.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
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    Is she depressed? Stressed? Any of those factors could and will decrease sex drive.

    Either way, she should feel the drive to correct it. If she doesn't then the ball is in your court to act appropriately.

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