CoDependency: CODA 12 step program or self help?

I have no doubt in my mind that I have serious issues with codependency. I am seeing a counselor and began Lexapro today because I have been SEVERELY depressed following my breakup. Anyhow, I attended a CODA meeting and while I found it to be a bit helpful, I'm not sure what to think of it. I know there are people that seem to base their whole lives on meetings and self help for 20+ years and I don't really want to have this overtake my life. At the same time, I acknowledge that I need some help with this. Can it be done through reading the right books, practicing the right mental excercises and counseling? Thanks in advance.

I tried CODA, and was not impressed. The commitment is huge, there is a LOT of pressure to stay in well beyond what a normal healing period should be. And I saw a lot of 'old timers' who were just as screwed up as the 'new comers'.

I ditched it for cognitive behavioral therapy and I have to say, I've had more personal growth over the past 6 months than the last 35 years put together.

I would have to say that I had a similar first impression. I am not looking to wallow in this miserable hell, but understand it and hopefully recognize it in the future before it becomes problematic again. I am seeing a good therapist, but my days have been absolute hell. I've wanted to call my ex so badly, but I know that will just lead to further pain and heartache. The end of a relationship truly feels like a death because I suddenly had no further communication with her and she is gone just like that.

Also StandTall:

Meditation (and visualization) can be very helpful. To quiet the mind, because the thoughts can start to spin, and seem to go mad. Horrible feeling.

Take care

Hermes

I tried CODA, and was not impressed. The commitment is huge, there is a LOT of pressure to stay in well beyond what a normal healing period should be. And I saw a lot of 'old timers' who were just as screwed up as the 'new comers'.

 

I ditched it for cognitive behavioral therapy and I have to say, I've had more personal growth over the past 6 months than the last 35 years put together.

I second this and I can't reccommend cognitive-behavioural therapy enough ( I'm trained in it so I am biased, but have also come accross programs such as CODA )

Whilst programs such as CODA and to some extent AA treat the person as if they have a lifelong 'issue' that needs constant intervention, cog-beh identifies the way you deal with things and you take *active* steps to change these ways.

As an integrative therapist, there are some situations where people feel they need this lifelong care. But I also see some people 'stuck' in their problems when it could be a relatively short process to get past them.

A good therapist and one trained in various methods will be able to help you identify which path is best for you. Good Luck!