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  1. #1
    Platinum Member misssmithviii's Avatar
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    50 year old suddenly acting like a teenager... wth?

    My man's parents are multi-millionaires with millions just sitting around making more millions, literally. They've been together and married since they were 18 and they're now in their mid-50s. The dad has always been very fun-loving, supportive and smart, especially with business (obviously). The mom is very sweet, down-to-earth and wise.
    They had a harder youth going from not-much to where they are now, and have owned a few gas stations along the way. They retired and are now enjoying their lavish lives.

    Well last year, the dad decided to buy a big house in Lake Tahoe. We all lived together in the beautiful house (more like a mansion) in beautiful Southern CA close to Malibu, but we all moved to Tahoe. A few months after, my man and I got our own apartment because the dad wouldn't allow my daughter to live with there (she had been previously living half-time with my father and I'd have her during the week as well) so my man basically said "Fine."
    The mom and I are incredibly close and she confided in me about how terrible he dad has been treating her. He refuses to spend any time with her, has female friends he's more excited to be around, and doesn't like to hear anybody but himself speak.
    What's weird is he wasn't always like this. Even my man has been confused by his father's sudden change in personality... it doesn't bother him that much, but we're baffled how he could go from who he was, to this selfish adolescent-behaving a**hole.

    Well the mom moved back down to the Southern CA mansion and we're moving back there with her in a couple weeks. We're excited, especially since his mom loves my daughter and it literally takes some effort to run into each other much in that place. Plus, we're used to it - it really is home to us.

    That means the dad will be up in Tahoe all by himself, with his 7 cars - splurging tens of thousands into each.

    A few questions I have going on here: How in the h*ll could the dad change on everyone like that and be such a d*ck? He's so unpleasant, the only time he smiles now is when he's talking about his cars and whatever new thing he bought for them.
    That, and ever since this change, his dad won't help anybody else with anything although he can wipe his a** with his money. For instance, my man asked his dad about helping with our project car (his dad owned an auto shop and is extremely knowledgeable) but he suddenly has no time, not an extra cent and has to go run to PORSCHE to pick up his newly built motor with his ARP head-studs (which are very, very expensive).

    What happened? Do full-grown people just suddenly want to act like a teenager? How could he have just walked out on his wife like that?
    I talk to his mom a lot and we're really good friends... how do I approach this subject without being disrespectful (even though she doesn't like him)?
    Am I the only one who comes from a culture where parents are almost expected to always be there for their children, emotionally as well as financially?
    So confusing, not that I'm freaking out or anything - I'm just wondering what's going on, looking for some clarity because it is an uneasy thought - that people can change in that way...
    "Life is filled with collateral damage, and one day you're going to have to face all the casualties, burnt fragments of bridges and broken hearts." - Me

  2. #2
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    I don't think it is a good idea to ask her about this. This is more a private matter between them.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    If this is tormenting you, imagine what she is going through.

    Just be her friend, because she will need one.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by misssmithviii View Post
    ... how do I approach this subject without being disrespectful (even though she doesn't like him)? ...
    I don't think you should say anything at all. It's not your business to get involved (imo). It's their own private business and for them to sort out between themselves.
    Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.

    Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones.

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    sounds like he is having a mid-life crisis. i feel bad for his wife. the good news is that you get along with her and she loves your daughter, so it sounds like it will be a nice supportive environment for everyone in the house in socal. good luck. is your bf doing ok?
    There's no place like 127.0.0.1.



  7. #6
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    I would agree. You have no idea what is going on behind closed doors in their marriage so best to stay mum. They will probably get back together...

  8. #7
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    i agree that it is their private business and you probably shouldn't talk to her about it. unless she wants to bring it up to vent and then just try to listen to her. i think having a house full of nice, supportive people will be the best thing for her.
    There's no place like 127.0.0.1.



  9. #8
    Platinum Member misssmithviii's Avatar
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    I never bring it up, but she asks me what I think often and I was just wondering what do I say? I don't feel like it's my business much but I do want to be able to maturely answer her.

    As for my bf, it infuriates him how much his dad makes his mom cry nowadays... that and how rude he is, and it's not like we can avoid him because he visits often - almost just to brag about what he's spent his money on next and talk about himself.

    What is proper behavior when he comes around? I don't exactly enjoy watching my man's mother cry, my man doesn't either and ignoring him seems rude on my part too. I am very open to suggestions Thank you
    "Life is filled with collateral damage, and one day you're going to have to face all the casualties, burnt fragments of bridges and broken hearts." - Me

  10. #9
    Silver Member getbiii's Avatar
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    money isn't happiness...
    i don't know why you keep bringing up all the things related to money, but it seems your mans dad has found a new interest...
    we are always striving to search for happiness and with time our happiness changes,
    as we reach our goals and have met that happiness for some time we then have more goals and strive to reach those tooo.
    maybe like said before he is just having a pre-old man depression.
    he is now retired he has all the money he wants... worked his life and now doesn't know where to go from there?
    you get used to working all your life and setting goals so his cars give him that sence of acomplishment..


    or maybe he is becoming megalomaniac?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member misssmithviii's Avatar
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    I bring up the money mostly because I knew money didn't bring happiness, but I never heard of throwing it away all to yourself. I don't want to sound selfish, but I come from a culture where parents are almost expected to financially help their children and family - but his dad doesn't spend a single cent on anybody else but himself and makes a point about not caring about the financial needs of his children no matter how simple or necessary.

    I could go further into detail but I doubted anybody would want to hear about it.
    "Life is filled with collateral damage, and one day you're going to have to face all the casualties, burnt fragments of bridges and broken hearts." - Me

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