Hi all. I had a great day off enjoying the 80 degree rare weather in my area and I had a friend over and I sat out on my patio for the first time in my new beautiful condo. Everything was great until about an hour ago.
I was in my bedroom when I heard this slight banging noise from the wall. I heard very slight moaning and I figured out it was my neighboor having sex. I met her and she is very nice and probably around my age or a little older (46-50) and I figured she was alone too like me. Well I was wrong! I guess I took comfort in thinking that because I did not want to face what I just realized tonight:
I am still hurt by my ex husband leaving me 4 years ago. Some of you know my story and some of you don't but what it comes down to is I am so afraid and so hurt by what he did to me I can't ever take a chance again on love. I just want to not want to date anybody. After hearing my neighboor having sex it made me realize I am not dead yet (libido and otherwise) but wish I did not care about wanting to be with someone again. To tell you the truth sometimes I go on the breakup and divorce forumns just to keep convincing myself that is where I will end up again if I get into another relationship.
I am so upset that I am upset. I LOVE my new condo and I don't want to feel this way now. After 4 years you would think I would over my what my ex did to me but I am not.
Thank you all for listening .