I am just sharing but comments are welcome.
My boyfriend told me today that he intends on marrying me as soon as we are financially stable. In fact, he told me that if he had the money today, he would go down and get a marriage license application right now. He has been married before, but says he has absolutely no doubts about me and no commitment fear like he once did. Says I'm the only woman he's ever felt 100 percent sure of and that he prayed to God for me and I am the perfect person for him.
Anyway, this has put a lot of pressure on me. I love him, but we've only been together for 2 months! And only known each other about 4-5 months TOTAL!
I told him I have too many reservations right now and he said he intends on working on every single reservation I have. He REALLY has been trying to be PERFECT for me, but I think eventually he will get burned out trying!
I told him that I need him to be responsible and he has this laundry list of all the things he's going to do. His family and friends tell me that he is crazy motivated to marry me and has been changing his diet, cleaning up, getting tutored and EVERYTHING just because he is so inspired by me!
This is very flattering, but I told him that I want him to make these positive changes for HIMSELF, not just for me. He assured me that I am just the catalyst and muse. Still, that is a lot of pressure!
He went so far as to tell the elders in the church, his friends and family, and OUR PASTOR that he plans to marry me in our church.
The thing is, I'm not sure. I was in love with someone else (my ex fiancee) for over 7 years and I was positive that I wanted to marry him. But I don't feel that same way about my current boyfriend. Don't get me wrong though. I might get to that point, but we've only been together for 2 months! I care about him but don't know him well enough at this point to make that kinda commitment. I told him I'm open to growing together but can't make any promises.
He's so gung ho though. He's even watching relationship videos! He also keeps crying and telling me he will do anything for me. I asked him if that was really healthy and he said yes. I asked if he would still love me if we weren't together and he said yes, but he would be very sad. I see stars in his eyes.
It makes me sad because I want to feel the same way, but don't just yet.
I could see myself being happy with him if he makes those changes. I really could. I could see having a family together. I enjoy him and feel comfortable with him and he's cute. He's not my ex, but I guess no one will ever be and I just have to deal with that first before I can think about someone else.