After dating for awhile, certain things about female behavior become depressingly apparent, but as a person who's interested in a relationship you've no choice but to soldier on and take your lumps.
This still doesn't necessarily make things easier, but it does make one question the motives of people in general.
Alright. You're a guy, you've gathered your nerve up and asked a woman for a date.....generally after spending some time trying to assess rather ambiguous female "signals" of interest, or lack thereof. You seem to have some things in common and took a chance she might be interested in knowing more about a guy like you.
And to your relief she said yes, and to cement the deal gave you her phone number right away! Things are looking pretty good, right?
Not so fast. As a man, you learn yes means no as often as it means yes, but you get to find out the rude and inconsiderate way. How? Well, you've set the date, agreed to the night, the where and when, and the day of the date you get a phone call (oftentimes you don't get a phone call....she flakes when you call to confirm just before the date), with the 'ol cliched excuse. It generally takes one of three forms:
1) She just doesn't feel very good all of a sudden!
2) Suddenly an extreme emergency has come up and she must immediately help her mother/father/brother/sister/friend with some dire problem....Immediately!
3) Some close relative died! (This is so commonly used that most women usually avoid the obviousness of it and go for the "I'm not feeling well" excuse).
The truthfulness of these statements are impossible for the man to assess, which is why women use them for flaking excuses.
One thing is for certain: In flaking, the woman knows this is a overt, clear signal of disinterest.
But stay tuned, she may say something at the end of the conversation to string you along some more and make it look like she's still interested!
Now, here's the ironic part. You can't productively bring up the point that she mislead you, because if she's flaking she doesn't give a crap that she lied about her interest and strung you along. Lecturing a woman for being a flake and treating you badly just doesn't work. A great many women have done a lot of this, thus their casual dismissal of your feelings. It's a routine. Misleading men and flaking on the first date has probably been practiced by a large percentage of women at various levels of frequency in their dating careers, so it's pretty much a female entitlement program.
If you're irritated that she's flaking on the first date as so very often happens to men, (and men experience first date flaking far more often than women do, for the simple reason the man rarely flakes on first dates because he had to ask for the date in the first place, so of course he's interested) you may at least try to make her a little uncomfortable about such a shallow and disrespectful move.
She: "I'm so sorry, something's come up!"
You, somewhat cynically anticipating the excuse: "Lemme guess.....Sickness, extreme emergency, or dead relative?"
Now, here's a commonality I've noticed a great many times:
Having now put the lie to the impression that she was actually interested in going out with you, she's just warming up in the "hand out some more mendacity" derby.
After delivering her likely untruthful excuse, often the flaker will deliver a line to the effect of......"Sorry I couldn't make it! Next time you go out, let me know!"
Now, this implies she's giving an honest excuse, is really sorry she can't make it, and she wants you to ask her out again!
In the light of actual experience, and with men I've discussed this with, this is not likely. Having just proved she wasn't interested, it's now much easier to follow an untruth with yet another one by implying she's still interested. This is done because it makes the excuse sound more truthful.
Almost invariably, the vast majority of the time, when you take her at her word and try again at some later date, she either doesn't return your calls or flakes on you. Again.
What was that saying? "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." By taking a flaker at her word, you've been shamed. It's an ego trip thing for these women, I'm sure. They've got plenty of men after them already, and your attempting to set a date with her again is simply boosting her ego and affirming her desirability, which is what many women crave.
In our normal human interactions that don't involve dating, flaking is seen as an extremely undesirable behavior, and flaky people will be passed over in career advancement as flaky behavior is extremely undesirable in any respectful social situation.
At the very least, in most social situations, the "flaker" knows they've committed a faux pax and the onus is on them to correct the situation by making up for their obvious social goof, to restore their good standing.
Want to avoid the embarassment of being flaked on twice after having actually believed the woman was still really interested and truly didn't mean to flake?
Put her feet to the fire right then and there, when she's still on the phone, and immediately after she expresses some degree of regret that she couldn't make it and tells you to "call her sometime" as women so often do. Make no mistake.....she didn't say "call me sometime" because she wants you to call. She said it to make herself feel better about the fact that she's flaking on you by offering a slim ray of hope a date may actually happen. She probably doesn't really want you to call her again, and will likely flake on any subsequent contact. Right away, say something to this effect:
"Okay, it's too bad you couldn't make it. Next Saturday night is open. How about the same plans at the same time on Saturday?"
Now's she's on the spot. She has to give you an answer in the affirmative, or she's done. If she doesn't agree to this, express that it was nice to meet her, say something to the effect of "have a nice life" and end the conversation.
In this way you immediately attempt to gauge her true interest, and you give her no opportunity to avoid the issue another day. You deal with it that very moment, and you give yourself the best opportunity to resolve the issue as fairly and unemotionally as you can.
Most likely, in flaking on any first date, a woman's excuses are pretty much BS. They know flaking is a sure sign of disinterest on their part. Just play your own role like a man in not letting them manipulate you further by demanding a level of accountability from them.
She darn well better make her interest immediately apparent right after flaking with a sure future committment to a date. If she does not, remove her from consideration and move on.