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  1. #1
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    May 2009
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    26

    He loves to get my attention....then disappears

    So I've known this guy for almost a year and I see him a few times a month when we cross paths at work (my company is his client)

    I am so attracted to him but I feel like he sends mixed signals.
    He always calls me on his way home from work, we went on a date which was so much fun.

    Recently we went to a sporting event and we stayed so close the whole night always hugging and playing.

    I would catch him staring at me and then he'd smile....

    The only problem is his personality is sarcastic sometimes and i can't tell if he legitimately has feelings for me or if he can see i REALLY like him and he's using me to boost his ego...

    We'll talk on the phone all the time and text but then bam he disappears....then i won't hear from him for like 2-3 days

    it really hurts my feelings b/c i like him so much. and i find myself constantly checking my cell at work to see if he tried to text or call and then when there's no message on there i get so sad....

    i always try to let him come to me first...but usually if i don't hear from him for awhile then i'll initiate it.

    ugh...

    i don't want to look like a stalker or anything which is why i don't text/call often...but i think about him ALL the time and I love the way i feel when he's around me and when he touches me....

    what can i do?

  2. #2
    Whether he's playing with you consciously or sending mixed signals just because thats what he does it doesn't matter...mixed signals are the essence of seduction.

    Right now he is controlling the rythym...if you want more control in the relationship you are going to have to break that rythym...you are reacting to him...you need to respond to him.

    Start by not returning his texts/communications right away. When you do respond keep the responses short and sound pre-occupied...maybe hint that there is someone else involved...put the heat on him...

    Draw boundaries when you get all touchy-feely...calling you on the way home from work...no...don't respond to calls/texts cause he has nothing better to do...if you want to be gf material you are going to have to teach him...otherwise you'll wind up a FB, one night stand, or something similiar.

  3. #3
    Member
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    May 2009
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    wow that is a GREAT response!!! thank you SO much!

  4. 01-21-2010, 09:46 PM
    Reason
    Too jaded

  5. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Dako View Post
    You could ask him if he's interested in you romantically.

    Maybe it's my age, but I prefer women who say what's on their mind. Winks and giggles only go so far.
    I disagree. He'll run if you call him out. Let the process take its course naturally. Try to get verbal definitions of the relationship/intentions and you reek of insecurity and kill all excitement.

  6.  

  7. #5
    Platinum Member Dako's Avatar
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    Oct 2005
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    Probably right.

  8. #6
    Platinum Member
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    Oct 2009
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    I totally recommend the direct approach. That's, of course, because I'm too chicken to use it myself, and because I know for a fact that pretending not to be interested makes the chances of something materializing even smaller.

  9. #7
    Member
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    Mar 2009
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    43
    I would also consider his actions, if he is playin mind games? isnt that a red flag? to me if a guy is messing around now how serious or how much effort will he put into a relationship later?

  10. #8
    Platinum Member
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    Jun 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyDynamic View Post
    Whether he's playing with you consciously or sending mixed signals just because thats what he does it doesn't matter...mixed signals are the essence of seduction.

    Right now he is controlling the rythym...if you want more control in the relationship you are going to have to break that rythym...you are reacting to him...you need to respond to him.

    Start by not returning his texts/communications right away. When you do respond keep the responses short and sound pre-occupied...maybe hint that there is someone else involved...put the heat on him...

    Draw boundaries when you get all touchy-feely...calling you on the way home from work...no...don't respond to calls/texts cause he has nothing better to do...if you want to be gf material you are going to have to teach him...otherwise you'll wind up a FB, one night stand, or something similiar.
    Ugh, welcome to game-playing 101...

  11. #9
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    570
    Don't play games. Ask him if he wants a relationship!

  12. 01-24-2010, 11:52 AM
    Reason
    Off the mark

  13. #10
    Platinum Member BriarRose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    7,571
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    Female
    2-3 days isn't ideal, but I don't think he's blowing you off. He is still calling and wanting to see you. If the most you don't hear from him is 2-3 days, I wouldn't worry too much.

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