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Thread: What does a 30 year old man want with a 21 year old woman?

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    Silver Member thegirl_00's Avatar
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    What does a 30 year old man want with a 21 year old woman?

    I have gone on four dates with someone I met online. I'm not into the online dating thing, I was mainly on there out of boredom at work. There was only one guy I ever emailed back and after talking for awhile and making sure he was legit, we met in a public place.

    I wasn't sure I liked him, but he made it VERY clear that he liked me right after the first date. After only the first date he would call me non stop, text me, email me. He bought chocolate on the first date, and flowers on the second date, and has talked to me a lot about starting a relationship. He has also talked to me about taking a trip to Vegas with some of this friends this winter (moving fast or what?) But I am just wanting to take it slow for now...

    Him and I do have a lot of important qualities in common. In fact I have never really met anyone thus far who I have had so much in common with. I don't trust the internet for dating, for many obvious reasons. So I have been keeping my eyes and ear open for any sign that there is something wrong with the picture... but I haven't found anything yet. He told me his reasoning for being on an online dating site is simply because he is FAR too busy to find someone any other way.He owns his own business, and has another side business as well. Also he has a lot of close friends and plays a lot of sports which keep him busy. He said that he really wants to be in a relationship and have someone to share his wonderful life with to make it that much better.

    I am finding myself feeling a little confused... and I guess a little insecure. What does a 30 year old successful, attractive, athletic man want with a 21 year old who is in university and still lives at home? If anyone else see's something wrong with this picture let me know. Or if I am just over paranoid...

    Thanks for reading!




     

    "Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, Dance like no one is watching"

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    Platinum Member Seymore's Avatar
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    Kind of a big gap for the ages you are, but he might genuinely like you. I say give him the benefit of the doubt, but if you're uncomfortable with the showering of attention, I'd let him know to scale it back a bit.
    "My phone likes to 'auto incorrect' me." - Cognitive_Canine

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    Why the age hang up? Bottom-line, do you enjoy his company? Does he enjoy yours?

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    I think you worry too much, I know alot of couples with an age difference of 8 - 15 years that just do fine.
    Of course it's not as common so it might look weird for you, also the fact that he's a very successful man probably adds up to that feeling of yours.

    Still I guess you shouldn't go to vegas with them, I mean you don't know any of them and better be safe than sorry.

    Did you tell him you wanna go slow? If not then you should, I'm sure he understands that and if he really is serious he will respect it

    Also don't make yourself look worse than you are, who cares if you still live at home.

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    Silver Member thegirl_00's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by livinginsbi View Post
    Why the age hang up? Bottom-line, do you enjoy his company? Does he enjoy yours?
    I guess the main insecurity is that he has his life together, and I don't.

    But yes, I do enjoy his company. He is amazing so far.
    "Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, Dance like no one is watching"

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    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    He sounds a little bit too good to be true. All the non-stop texting, calling, flowers and candy would throw me off a bit. The behavior is too obsessive in my opinion. I have to have my breathing room, my little bit of space, even when I'm in a deep relationship. The age isn't nearly so much an issue as the smothering.

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    Don't beat yourself up over it...and give yourself more credit.. it's not always about where someone is in their life, sometimes it's just about who you are. I know plenty of people my age, men and women, who still don't have their life together -

    Keep positive thougths, he obviously sees something within you that he likes.

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    Platinum Member musicguy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymore View Post
    Kind of a big gap for the ages you are, but he might genuinely like you. I say give him the benefit of the doubt, but if you're uncomfortable with the showering of attention, I'd let him know to scale it back a bit.
    I agree. Tell him that he's moving too fast. Just because you two are far apart in age doesn't mean that you two won't click. I mean Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore.
    How do I live without the ones I love?
    Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned.
    Place and time always on my mind.
    I have so much to say but you're so far away

    So Far Away - Avenged Sevenfold

    R.I.P. Aaron Link. Sept. 1979- Jan. 13. 2008. We love and miss you buddy!

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    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Firecracker View Post
    He sounds a little bit too good to be true. All the non-stop texting, calling, flowers and candy would throw me off a bit. The behavior is too obsessive in my opinion. I have to have my breathing room, my little bit of space, even when I'm in a deep relationship. The age isn't nearly so much an issue as the smothering.
    I completely agree. I see red flags here and it is not the age difference...it is his sweet talking, the gifts, the Las Vegas trip he wants you to go on with him, the constant communication so early on. Either he is a player or he is desperate...and I think the attraction has more to do with him figuring at 21 you are naive and would gobble up all his sweet talk and gestures. Tread carefully with this guy...it is too much, too intense, too soon.

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    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    He sounds like a good salesman, talking about his good life and all. I get a feeling he's been on the dating sites for years.

    He said he has no time for other dating methods, but if that were true he wouldn't have all this time to be texting, calling, e-mailing, etc.

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