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  1. #1
    Member muffinhead's Avatar
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    Exclamation ** ATTENTION Straight Men That Like T-Girls (trannies) - My BF Does Too, I NEED To Understand WHY **

    My boyfriend recently confessed his attraction to t-girls, so the subject is something I'm desperately searching to understand. There's really no info online about why some straight guys are into this, at least I haven't been able to find anything. The one thing I have discovered is that many straight men are attracted to t-girls. A lot of them, in fact most of them, aren't even sure why? My boyfriend is one of them. He can't figure it out and it's something he feels a great deal of shame about. Because I've been so loving and understanding, I've shown him he can be open with me about this and not feel like he has to keep it a secret from me. As supportive as I've been, I must admit, it hasn't been easy for me to understand.

    Finding out my boyfriend was into this was difficult for me to deal with/understand. I've never been exposed to this world (meaning t-girls) so it was quite a culture shock for me. It created a lot of doubt within our relationship and caused me to feel inadequate as a woman. The news came very recently, so my feelings are still very raw. We're taking it day by day and trying not to let this destroy our relationship. We love each other, there's no doubt there. With open communication and lots of love, I'm sure we can get through this. I still have questions though - and fears, of course.
    My fears are mostly about the future. What happens when/if his lust for t-girls overpowers him and he starts hooking up on the side, etc? Again, this is only a fear, it's not something I know will ever happen for sure. Straight men that have a strong sexual attraction to t-girls, something I can never live up to, are they capable of being content in life without it? Obviously, I don't have a penis, does that mean eventually he'll cheat? Not that someone's attraction to t-girls means their a cheater. However, because he has a strong sexual attraction to what they can offer him, does than mean eventually he'll be unable to fight that desire?

    Regarding our sex life, as I'm sure this question will be asked. He and I have NO PROBLEMS at all in the bedroom. If anything, it's the best sex of my life. We've been together a year and three months and we still have out-of-this-world, mind-blowing sex. We have sex practically every day. He's never had a problem staying hard or anything like that. From the start, we've always had a great connection in bed. We keep things interesting, spice it up with sex toys, dirty talk, porn, etc. Some days we end up making love and some days we end up tearing each other up. No matter what we do, it's always amazing! We're both very sexual people and we're pretty much open to trying anything together. We even watch t-girls porn together and sometimes I'll put on a strap-on and watch him go down on me. We role play like this a lot and it doesn't bother me. If anything, it makes me feel like I'm able to satisfy that desire he has. Also, we both make it a priority to look good for each other - The physical attraction to each other is undeniable. I felt I should share that with you folks, in case you wondered if we were still intimate, etc. Again, I can't stress it enough, it's the best sex of my life.

    I'd love to get some feedback from some straight men that have been with, or want to be with, t-girls. I'm trying so hard to understand all this. It's my priority to be the best partner I can be, to my boyfriend. I don't judge him, not at all, I just want to understand. Please, feel free to share ANYTHING with me about this. I only ask that no one judge me, or anyone else that may comment here. I'm reaching out for help any negative comments will only be hurtful, not helpful.

    Thank you!!!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by muffinhead View Post
    However, because he has a strong sexual attraction to what they can offer him, does than mean eventually he'll be unable to fight that desire?
    Not necessarily. At least assuming he isn't exclusively attracted to transexuals. I mean, there are many bisexuals out there who don't have problems committing to a relationship even though their partner will never be able to have "the whole package", so to speak.

    But in regards to questions about "why", I am not sure there are answers. Why are you attracted to men? The answer is "you just are", and I suspect the same is true for your boyfriend. He just is.
    Last edited by FathomFear; 11-13-2009 at 10:59 PM.

  3. #3
    Member chocolatemilk's Avatar
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    Has he said he actually wants to have sex with a t-girl? Because fetishes are sometimes a fantasy only deal and a person does not actually want to do it in reality.

  4. 11-14-2009, 01:50 PM

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  5. #4
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    Here is your answer!

    Your bf will cheat on you if he is not ethically and morally true to himself, and you.
    Meaning, he will cheat if he is a cheater, period.

    I've been attracted to tgirls my entire life. I had relationships with three women(tgs) prior to a 22 year marriage. In the last year I have been with a very nice woman (tgirt) about 3 months now.

    I never once looked at another woman in all the years of marriage. I looked, never touched. Fantasys are just that, weather his fantasy is with a tgril or natural born woman, its a fantasy. When he acts out, he's a cheater.
    I think this is very simple. You are very understanding, keep up with the honesty and you both will be ok.
    jml

  6. #5
    Member muffinhead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skippylinn View Post
    Here is your answer!

    Your bf will cheat on you if he is not ethically and morally true to himself, and you.
    Meaning, he will cheat if he is a cheater, period.

    I've been attracted to tgirls my entire life. I had relationships with three women(tgs) prior to a 22 year marriage. In the last year I have been with a very nice woman (tgirt) about 3 months now.

    I never once looked at another woman in all the years of marriage. I looked, never touched. Fantasys are just that, weather his fantasy is with a tgril or natural born woman, its a fantasy. When he acts out, he's a cheater.
    I think this is very simple. You are very understanding, keep up with the honesty and you both will be ok.
    jml
    I really appreciate your feedback - Thanks! I agree, moral character has nothing to do with the types of people a person chooses to be intimate with. Just because someone is straight/gay, that doesn't mean they're more likely to cheat on their partner. Cheaters are cheaters, period. My fear is that, again, because I don't have what t-girls have "down there," eventually he'll seek out an intimate encounter with one. I have shared this fear with him, of course, he seems to be sure this would never be an issue. I want to believe him, however, I'm also a realist. Perhaps it case by case, again, as you said, depending on the moral character of the person.

    Thanks again for your feedback, you've been helpful!

    Cheers!

  7. #6
    Member abnormal's Avatar
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    my expeirence

    hi all...

    ok, i too just registered to reply to your thread.
    I am a 27 y/o happily married man who was always a porn lover.
    before i got engaged i would watch some porn here and there..just the regular stuff...suddenly i stumbled onto a "trangender" porn site...i was like "what the hell?" and i quickly switched to another site. the next day i visited that site again out of curiosity and while looking at some of the pics...i realized i wasnt turned off by them..i was actually aroused.
    i decided to watch a porn video and to my surprise, i was so turned on.
    i was too ashamed to admit to myself that i was actually hard from watching this kind of thing.
    i tried to ignore it for a few days and just watch the regular stuff i liked like lesbien porn and your regular male on female porn but i kept thinking about that site...so i went back.
    something happend that day, i actually started masturbating to that transgender porn video and i got off.

    i tried to analyze what the hell is going on...i mean i am not gay in anyway and i have never been attracted to men and with all due respect to homosexuals out there, i continue to find it...well....gross.

    i searched the net for guys like me and guess what? i found an army of straight men attracted to transsexuals.
    reveled that i wasnt alone, i tried to dig for the reason why a female loving man would suddenly be attracted to the image of a female body plus a * * * * . I found tons of explanations. some of them seemed familiar while others were way off.

    i have never admitted this to anyone of my friends coz im worried what they might think of me...thay might call me a freak or gay (no offense) and avoid me.
    of course i never have and never will admit it to my wife coz i think she will be shocked and maybe even a bit disgusted by me.

    i have not lost my attraction to females...god knows i love them like i always have and i love my wife and our sex life is great...but on some nights, if she sleeps before me or has her period...i sneak online to a transexual porn site and masturbate to some transexual movies.
    first, i was only into watching males penetrate a transexual without the male being on the receiving end.
    lately, i found myself not minding watching the male give a bj and even being penetrated by the transexual...i think its because of the expression on the transexual's face when she's f***ing a guy..never because watching the guy's facial expressions...
    am i freaked out?! well i was but now im calm.
    would i ever consider sleeping with one? well no because i love my wife and i would never cheat on her...but i have to wonder, if i was a single unattached guy...would i give it a shot? i guess ill never know.

    anyways im sorry for making this long, i felt i needed to let this out...

    @muffinhead...you have nothing to worry about if you and your guy are inlove...cheatiing with a transexual is like cheating with a women...no happily commited guy would do it even if its a fetish to him.

  8. #7
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    We all believe what we want to believe. There is no rational reason why you think gay sex is gross. You may think it is rational because well you perceive many people to share your beliefs, so you figure it must be "normal". I am not offended because I think you believe you are being honest in your beliefs, and you are not trying to be offensive on purpose.

    If you don't like to believe that watching two guys have sex turns you on even though it does, you are going to continue to rationalize until you can find a reason you can live with. "I wasn't looking at the guy, only the T-girl etc."

    It is too bad you feel you can't be honest with your wife, I would say it has more to do with how you feel about your "fetish" than how you think your wife would react.

    I would say pushing the boundaries is part of what turns you on, porn can be an addiction, similar to a chemical addiction. You are teaching your body to produce certain chemicals to give you a natural "high". I think that is where one of the dangers lie. In time just watching videos isn't going to be enough to get that same high, then what will you do?

  9. #8
    Member muffinhead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by abnormal View Post
    hi all...

    ok, i too just registered to reply to your thread.
    I am a 27 y/o happily married man who was always a porn lover.
    before i got engaged i would watch some porn here and there..just the regular stuff...suddenly i stumbled onto a "trangender" porn site...i was like "what the hell?" and i quickly switched to another site. the next day i visited that site again out of curiosity and while looking at some of the pics...i realized i wasnt turned off by them..i was actually aroused.
    i decided to watch a porn video and to my surprise, i was so turned on.
    i was too ashamed to admit to myself that i was actually hard from watching this kind of thing.
    i tried to ignore it for a few days and just watch the regular stuff i liked like lesbien porn and your regular male on female porn but i kept thinking about that site...so i went back.
    something happend that day, i actually started masturbating to that transgender porn video and i got off.

    i tried to analyze what the hell is going on...i mean i am not gay in anyway and i have never been attracted to men and with all due respect to homosexuals out there, i continue to find it...well....gross.

    i searched the net for guys like me and guess what? i found an army of straight men attracted to transsexuals.
    reveled that i wasnt alone, i tried to dig for the reason why a female loving man would suddenly be attracted to the image of a female body plus a * * * * . I found tons of explanations. some of them seemed familiar while others were way off.

    i have never admitted this to anyone of my friends coz im worried what they might think of me...thay might call me a freak or gay (no offense) and avoid me.
    of course i never have and never will admit it to my wife coz i think she will be shocked and maybe even a bit disgusted by me.

    i have not lost my attraction to females...god knows i love them like i always have and i love my wife and our sex life is great...but on some nights, if she sleeps before me or has her period...i sneak online to a transexual porn site and masturbate to some transexual movies.
    first, i was only into watching males penetrate a transexual without the male being on the receiving end.
    lately, i found myself not minding watching the male give a bj and even being penetrated by the transexual...i think its because of the expression on the transexual's face when she's f***ing a guy..never because watching the guy's facial expressions...
    am i freaked out?! well i was but now im calm.
    would i ever consider sleeping with one? well no because i love my wife and i would never cheat on her...but i have to wonder, if i was a single unattached guy...would i give it a shot? i guess ill never know.

    anyways im sorry for making this long, i felt i needed to let this out...

    @muffinhead...you have nothing to worry about if you and your guy are inlove...cheatiing with a transexual is like cheating with a women...no happily commited guy would do it even if its a fetish to him.
    It took a lot of courage for you to share this today, so thank you! I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to do. Hearing what you have to say about all this greatly helps me. My initial post, the one I wrote when I first discovered all this, got different types of feedback. Although I welcome all feedback, it was mostly from women who aren't in my situation. That's why I started this new thread, I wanted to hear from folks that were in a similar situation. Again, ALL feedback is helping because I realize I need to look at this from all directions.

    Here's the link to that thread, I thought you might be interested in reading what was written there.

    http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=312060

    Again, KUDOS to you for having the courage to share your story.

  10. #9
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    My two cents for what it's worth...

    I am writing from the perspective of a 29 year old man who has been single his whole life, and has been viewing transsexual and heterosexual porn in roughly equal amounts for 10 years or so. Apart from the fact that I've always been single I'm a pretty normal guy. Really. But enough about me...

    I have read nearly every discussion forum thread I could find on the topic of transsexual porn. I must have read at least 100 threads, and more than 1000 messages.

    I am intrigued by your situation. You are very supportive of your boyfriend. I am also impressed by your boyfriend's honesty. I can tell you from all my readings on this topic that most women are not so understanding, and most men are not so honest.

    In regards to your first question "Why the attraction to t-girls?", I could list the myriad theories that have been put out there, but most of them are bunk. The only theory that I have found that holds water is that ... you're not going to like this ... your boyfriend is attracted to his own penis (a kind of auto-eroticism) and therefore is capable of feeling attraction for a penis. But here's the catch: in order to feel attraction for someone, it isn't enough that we are attracted to one part of their body. They must also closely resemble our ideal partner. Since transsexuals very closely approximate women, he is capable of feeling attraction towards a transsexual.

    In regards to second question "Will he cheat on me?", the answer is: I doubt it. His lust for transsexuals will be no stronger than his lust for other women. There is a small chance that his lust for transsexuals will supplant all other sexual desires, as I have read happens to some men. The fact that he has been open with you suggests that even then he wouldn't cheat.

    I'm sorry you have to deal with this. One of the reasons I've chosen to stay single is I know how hard this can be for a woman, to deal with the fact that she can't satisfy all of a man's fantasies.

  11. #10
    Silver Member ATLstudent's Avatar
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    So I find transexual girls can be sexually arousing as well.

    On a basic level....alot of these girls take hormones, have breasts, and so forth, and are really attractive.....on a normal level. I mean I am sure he has his preferences when it comes to T girls.....some of the girls just have a really nice butt, or really great boobs, or a really nice face......just basically they are attractive.

    Ok but why is there an atttraction to them in particular......well i am assumming we are talking pre op....which means still having a penis. Ok so why on earth would a guy be sexually aroused by a person with attractive female qualities and also a penis.

    No one really knows, on the level you are wondering.......its like asking why gay guys are sexaully aroused by other men, why the male figure can turn them on........They dont know exactly why this happens.....why there body reacts this way......all they know is that it does, and it feels good, and thats that. Even a straight guy cant analyse himself and figure why he gets an erection when an attractive girl pounces on him.........it just is,,, it just does.

    So all we can do is speculate....why these things are sexually attractive. Well trying to analylize myself i can think of reason...probably not right, but who knows.
    For me its just really really naughty.......its dirty.......its not what your supposed to be looking at.........so that adds something. I mean....that what it seems like. Its just so naughty......and these transexuals are really naughty too, I think for me its just a bigger version of "naughtyness" as a turn on....

    I mean even with females.....I know i am much more turned on when i am doing something i shouldnt or in a place i could get caught.....its just the kid inside me im sure.

    So tgirls are just dirty......oh yeah its all anal sex too....that may be a contribting factor too.

    But i am bisexual and i think the tgirl thing makes sense for me......but for completely straight guys...i do not understand it.........but my good friend who is a really hot tgirl...who unfortunately escorts says most of her clients are married men.

    So i dunno...its just attractive.....its just gives some guys an erection....probably many of these guys have the same reasons...but to try and figure out why is tuff. Just know something else gives him an erection as well as pure females.

    NOt to worry about though.....i mean im sure plenty of other females turn him on too....doesnt mean he will go cheating on you...and it doesnt mean.....you fill up his need for these other women( i say this because you may think you being a female quenches his thrist for females, and you could possibly do that for tgirls, not true.) he is with you and thats what he wants.....he can have his fantasies....we all do...doesnt mean we have to make them a reality

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