Alimony

DN · 11-02-2009, 10:25 PM

Interesting article for those contemplating marriage - or divorce:

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

indigo777 · 11-02-2009, 10:43 PM

If they hadn't both waived their right to alimony when they amicably divorced.. and she had been awarded lifetime alimony like so many others are.. would this even be a story they bother reporting?

Funnily enough the man in this story is going to have spent far less in overall alimony on his ex-wife than many others who have a lifetime alimony award made against them from the very beginning.

That said - I think a lot of jurisdictions have well and tryly done away with lifetime alimony (which is a good thing).

TheSmilingTurnip · 11-02-2009, 10:51 PM

Wow that is messed up. I'm glad the article pointed out that this can happen to women can be ordered to pay alimony too. In fact, my ex husband asked for alimony in our divorce but in my state it's hard to get, thank God.

**lady00** · 11-02-2009, 10:52 PM

That's certainly rough. It's hard not to feel for the guy.

TheSmilingTurnip · 11-02-2009, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by indigo777

That said - I think a lot of jurisdictions have well and tryly done away with lifetime alimony (which is a good thing).

I agree. Women don't have as many disadvantages as they once did. Back in the day, it was nigh to impossible to support oneself without a husband or parental family. Not so much now.

However I know someone divorcing right now who had to spend an inordinate amount of time caring for her disabled husband during their marriage (he was not disabled to begin with), and consequently, her income during that time went down. She filed for alimony.

Cognitive_Canine · 11-02-2009, 11:11 PM

I think ailimony is needed in some cases though. My poor grandmother had no options after being out of the workforce since 17 and without a college degree. Women just didn't have those options back then. No one wanted to hire her or train her. She should have been in retirement at her age but, sadly, cannot.

The problem is that too many people abuse the system. It makes sense, on paper: The spouse who did all the breadwinning should help out the spouse that did the homemaking until they get on their feet. However, often ideas like this are easily manipulated and tainted by greed.

WhatThe · 11-03-2009, 07:08 PM

Illinois and Texas have done the proper reforms by limiting the duration of alimony to 5 and 3 years respectively, except in exceptional cases. Alimony is to give the spouse making less money at the time of the divorce a chance to educate themselves and make a better living. It should NOT be to support someone at some BS made-up 'living standard' for the rest of their lives. I can't freaking believe the guy in the article having to start paying his ex alimony after having been divorced for 25 years! If that is not an example of insanity, I don't know what is.

I'd like to make a huge point, one which is almost always missed. Even in cases where monthly alimony is not awarded, it can be a huge factor in the divorce settlement. Many people will give a disproportionate part of the marital estate to their partner to avoid having to pay alimony. So in reality, alimony is still paid, it is just paid up front in the asset split. There are huge tax advantages to doing it this way.

I do know women paying alimony. As time goes on, the more women that pay, the more likely the laws will be changed. Meanwhile, because of alimony, the marriage rate continues to drop. Who in hell is going to get married when it would mean losing a $3000 a month gravy train? And who would marry someone with that kind of obligation? As it was pointed out, if someone paying alimony gets married, their new spouse's income can be used to INCREASE the alimony of the ex. That is crazy!

I have two teenagers, and I have told both of them to keep the government out of their lives by NEVER, and I mean NEVER getting married. It just isn't worth it.

**melrich** · 11-03-2009, 07:15 PM

In Australia, alimony is very rare. It is usually only paid in two circumstances,

1. Where there is significant inequality between the post marriage finances of the couple concerned or,
2. Where there is an incapacity of one person to work to support themselves.

My personal view is that financial settlements should be roughly 50/50 with allowance for the expenses of raising any children and a support mechanism for an adjustment period.

But no way should someone be coming back 25 years later. That is law gone mad.

alvin · 11-03-2009, 07:34 PM

I don't personally believe alimony should ever be granted unless the working spouse requested that the non-working spouse not work.

solsticefall · 11-03-2009, 07:40 PM

I've already paid my dues in alimony - and I'm nowhere near the end of my divorce.

Only married for ~six years and she wanted $10k in alimony *after I paid the bills while she got her bachelors degree*. I about fell off my chair.

And then, months later, she came back asking for half the equity in the house too!

11-02-2009, 10:25 PM	#1
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,439	Alimony Interesting article for those contemplating marriage - or divorce: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

11-02-2009, 10:43 PM	#2
indigo777 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 1,472	If they hadn't both waived their right to alimony when they amicably divorced.. and she had been awarded lifetime alimony like so many others are.. would this even be a story they bother reporting? Funnily enough the man in this story is going to have spent far less in overall alimony on his ex-wife than many others who have a lifetime alimony award made against them from the very beginning. That said - I think a lot of jurisdictions have well and tryly done away with lifetime alimony (which is a good thing). __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Love is the answer.

11-02-2009, 10:51 PM	#3
TheSmilingTurnip Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2005 Age: 33 Posts: 2,042	Wow that is messed up. I'm glad the article pointed out that this can happen to women can be ordered to pay alimony too. In fact, my ex husband asked for alimony in our divorce but in my state it's hard to get, thank God. __________________ BOUNDARIES...where you end and someone else begins. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty." ~ Kevin Bacon on keeping marriage together.

11-02-2009, 10:52 PM	#4
lady00 Online Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 7,869	That's certainly rough. It's hard not to feel for the guy. __________________ "When I fall in love, I take my time." - Jason Mraz "Can't sing but I've got soul." - U2

11-02-2009, 11:11 PM	#6
Cognitive_Canine Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Gender: Female Posts: 11,326	I think ailimony is needed in some cases though. My poor grandmother had no options after being out of the workforce since 17 and without a college degree. Women just didn't have those options back then. No one wanted to hire her or train her. She should have been in retirement at her age but, sadly, cannot. The problem is that too many people abuse the system. It makes sense, on paper: The spouse who did all the breadwinning should help out the spouse that did the homemaking until they get on their feet. However, often ideas like this are easily manipulated and tainted by greed.

11-03-2009, 07:08 PM	#7
WhatThe Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 81	Illinois and Texas have done the proper reforms by limiting the duration of alimony to 5 and 3 years respectively, except in exceptional cases. Alimony is to give the spouse making less money at the time of the divorce a chance to educate themselves and make a better living. It should NOT be to support someone at some BS made-up 'living standard' for the rest of their lives. I can't freaking believe the guy in the article having to start paying his ex alimony after having been divorced for 25 years! If that is not an example of insanity, I don't know what is. I'd like to make a huge point, one which is almost always missed. Even in cases where monthly alimony is not awarded, it can be a huge factor in the divorce settlement. Many people will give a disproportionate part of the marital estate to their partner to avoid having to pay alimony. So in reality, alimony is still paid, it is just paid up front in the asset split. There are huge tax advantages to doing it this way. I do know women paying alimony. As time goes on, the more women that pay, the more likely the laws will be changed. Meanwhile, because of alimony, the marriage rate continues to drop. Who in hell is going to get married when it would mean losing a $3000 a month gravy train? And who would marry someone with that kind of obligation? As it was pointed out, if someone paying alimony gets married, their new spouse's income can be used to INCREASE the alimony of the ex. That is crazy! I have two teenagers, and I have told both of them to keep the government out of their lives by NEVER, and I mean NEVER getting married. It just isn't worth it.

11-03-2009, 07:15 PM	#8
melrich Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 8,498	In Australia, alimony is very rare. It is usually only paid in two circumstances, 1. Where there is significant inequality between the post marriage finances of the couple concerned or, 2. Where there is an incapacity of one person to work to support themselves. My personal view is that financial settlements should be roughly 50/50 with allowance for the expenses of raising any children and a support mechanism for an adjustment period. But no way should someone be coming back 25 years later. That is law gone mad.

11-03-2009, 07:34 PM	#9
alvin Online Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Male Age: 32 Posts: 52	I don't personally believe alimony should ever be granted unless the working spouse requested that the non-working spouse not work.

11-03-2009, 07:40 PM	#10
solsticefall Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Alone in the Superunknown Gender: Male Posts: 131	I've already paid my dues in alimony - and I'm nowhere near the end of my divorce. Only married for ~six years and she wanted $10k in alimony after I paid the bills while she got her bachelors degree. I about fell off my chair. And then, months later, she came back asking for half the equity in the house too!