Why do we place age before love and happiness?

metafisics · 10-30-2009, 03:34 AM

Finding love, and I dont mean relationships, I mean love, is hard enough. Yet it puzzles me all the time how the society puts a lot of emphasis on age, especially where the woman is older, when there are a lot of people in "right age relationships" which the society support, but are extremely unhappy.

I think we've lost the plot! The sad thing is only decades/centuries from now, the society will see the light and the taboo attached to this will be history and a lot of people would have unnecesarily suffered for it! Why do we always take sooo long to learn?!

I often hear how the relationships wont work, but often the reasons have very little to do with the compatibility of the two people and more to do with irrational societal pressures.

Would like to hear from those who oppose relationships where the woman is older, and the man is an adult. Perhaps I am missing something!

Sn0man · 10-30-2009, 03:39 AM

I love older women. Especially foxy older women.

But not too much older - I want kids someday.

scared and alone · 10-30-2009, 03:45 AM

hey, as long as they are both of legal consenting age, i see no problem with it.

I also hate when its fine for a man to date a younger woman, but if an older woman is dating a younger man, its wrong, or taboo? WHAT? makes no sense to me.

metafisics · 10-30-2009, 03:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sn0man

But not too much older - I want kids someday.

I hear you Sn0man, your issue would not be her age then but rather her ability to have children, a problem which could be experienced by a younger woman.

So assuming you marry a younger woman and realise later that she cant bare children, what do you do? Devorce her?

My point if your interest is in having children, shouldnt the focus be on the woman's ability to have children, regardless of her age?

Lucius · 10-30-2009, 04:50 AM

If I'm attracted to a person, and if I respect them, and if we're looking for similar things in life (now and in the future) - then that's all I need to know.

Age, in and of itself, is not an issue for me.

gsxr104 · 10-30-2009, 04:56 AM

Age is not an issue for me either.

metafisics · 10-30-2009, 06:22 AM

Yes, its often not an issue for the two people who decide to get into a relationship, however, these relationships often collapse, thanks to interference from family memberes, friends and society at large!

I know that people should be strong and mature enough to decide wath they want regardless of what people say, but one cant undersestimate the need for acceptance and that some people arent that strong.

The very reason why a lot gay people remain in the closet, which hurts the society even more becuase they go and get into marriages they do not want to be in. Result, they have a life on the down low! Resulting in all sorts of tings I wont metion.

Excuse me for digressing, tryin to make a point.

Lucius · 10-30-2009, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by metafisics

Yes, its often not an issue for the two people who decide to get into a relationship, however, these relationships often collapse, thanks to interference from family memberes, friends and society at large!

Then the issue becomes as much about conformity as it is about age.

For myself, I really don't care what other people have to say about my partner. I've dated people that my family weren't over the moon about - I really didn't much care. They knew me well enough to keep their concerns, once expressed, wholly to themselves.

Yeah, it can be an issue for some people. I suppose just about anything can (whether that's race, religion, appearance, income, etc, etc). For some of us though, the approval of others is only ever a bonus - and not a requirement.

metafisics · 10-30-2009, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucius

Then the issue becomes as much about conformity as it is about age.

For myself, I really don't care what other people have to say about my partner. I've dated people that my family weren't over the moon about - I really didn't much care. They knew me well enough to keep their concerns, once expressed, wholly to themselves.

Yeah, it can be an issue for some people. I suppose just about anything can (whether that's race, religion, appearance, income, etc, etc). For some of us though, the approval of others is only ever a bonus - and not a requirement.

Couldnt agree more!!

Godless_Heathen · 10-31-2009, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by metafisics

I hear you Sn0man, your issue would not be her age then but rather her ability to have children, a problem which could be experienced by a younger woman.

"Could be" does not mean "likely." It's entirely reasonable to restrict who you date to people with whom having children is a real possibility.

Quote:

So assuming you marry a younger woman and realise later that she cant bare children, what do you do? Devorce her?

In the real world, you simply live with it. That's not a reason to ignore warning signs.

Quote:

My point if your interest is in having children, shouldnt the focus be on the woman's ability to have children, regardless of her age?

Sure, except that age is a real, known factor. About 2% of younger couples experience infertility even though they have no reason to expect infertility before they start trying. Those are pretty good odds, and ones you just have to accept in life.

Age does affect fertility, and does so far more than most people seem to believe. "I had a cousin who got pregnant at 42" doesn't alter the fact that the odds are heavily against you at that age. Just as it's unlikely you'll experience difficulty (barring known problems) with a woman under 35, it's very likely you will if you're starting much past 40.

It's not fair, but it's life.

10-30-2009, 03:34 AM	#1
metafisics Offline Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 50	Why do we place age before love and happiness? Finding love, and I dont mean relationships, I mean love, is hard enough. Yet it puzzles me all the time how the society puts a lot of emphasis on age, especially where the woman is older, when there are a lot of people in "right age relationships" which the society support, but are extremely unhappy. I think we've lost the plot! The sad thing is only decades/centuries from now, the society will see the light and the taboo attached to this will be history and a lot of people would have unnecesarily suffered for it! Why do we always take sooo long to learn?! I often hear how the relationships wont work, but often the reasons have very little to do with the compatibility of the two people and more to do with irrational societal pressures. Would like to hear from those who oppose relationships where the woman is older, and the man is an adult. Perhaps I am missing something!

10-30-2009, 03:39 AM	#2
Sn0man Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: BC Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 2,164	I love older women. Especially foxy older women. But not too much older - I want kids someday. __________________ I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It's hitting below the intellect. If you can’t ignore an insult, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved.

10-30-2009, 03:45 AM	#3
scared and alone Offline Silver Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,207	hey, as long as they are both of legal consenting age, i see no problem with it. I also hate when its fine for a man to date a younger woman, but if an older woman is dating a younger man, its wrong, or taboo? WHAT? makes no sense to me.

10-30-2009, 04:50 AM	#5
Lucius Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 456	If I'm attracted to a person, and if I respect them, and if we're looking for similar things in life (now and in the future) - then that's all I need to know. Age, in and of itself, is not an issue for me.

10-30-2009, 04:56 AM	#6
gsxr104 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Texas Gender: Male Posts: 654	Age is not an issue for me either.

10-30-2009, 06:22 AM	#7
metafisics Offline Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 50	Yes, its often not an issue for the two people who decide to get into a relationship, however, these relationships often collapse, thanks to interference from family memberes, friends and society at large! I know that people should be strong and mature enough to decide wath they want regardless of what people say, but one cant undersestimate the need for acceptance and that some people arent that strong. The very reason why a lot gay people remain in the closet, which hurts the society even more becuase they go and get into marriages they do not want to be in. Result, they have a life on the down low! Resulting in all sorts of tings I wont metion. Excuse me for digressing, tryin to make a point.