Hearing from an EX

EJ_1983 · 10-25-2009, 03:28 PM

My ex who dumped me 3 months ago calls me tonight to have a 'chat' - she asks how work is going etc and then tells me how hungover she is. I asked did she have a good night and then she goes on to tell me that she had two guys 'fighting' over her in a nightclub and she found it difficult choosing which one to take home! Then goes on to say that they never had sex, just slept in the same bed! too much detail!!!!! Why on earth she is telling me this I do not know. If I went out on a night out and met a girl, the last person I would call to speak about the meet would be an ex!
She has called/text me a few times since we broke up and I think every night out she has had out since we broke up she has taken a guy home according to her.

We did decide to remain friends after we split but I think she is just playing a game now - maybe time for NC????

Is she trying to wind me up as it is working! I know we will never get back together but why do I feel like crap when she tells me this...

Theblueman123 · 10-25-2009, 03:41 PM

She's just being rude and playing with your emotions, don't respond or reply to her phone call. Whenever ex's play games you should play them back, it gets really fun sometimes

Clabs · 10-25-2009, 03:44 PM

Hey EJ

That is why friendship rarely works with a ex unless a good deal of time has passed.

Honestly, that was pretty hurtful to tell you this stuff - she sounds really kind and caring!

You really are better off not talking to her anymore because if you do keep in contact, I predict more crappy messages from her.

Take care mate and keep your chin up, eh?

Mark

LillyLooWho · 10-25-2009, 03:54 PM

Maybe she is testing you to see if you get upset, which will mean you still care about her. I don't know. Seems like a pretty cruel thing to do to you. Maybe she is mad at you and is trying to punish you?

HeartGoesOn · 10-25-2009, 04:50 PM

You're only setting yourself up for heartache, by being friends with her.

vertigoxo · 10-25-2009, 05:12 PM

I've had the same thing happening to me. Who knows why some people do this. They want us to be jealous, but the question is, why for? You're happy with your new life without us, and it would be nice to know that you're happy and all... But why tell us the explicit details about you running around with people you're supposedly attracted to? We don't want to know, dude! :P

Why would an ex try and make us jealous? No idea. Pride, hurt feelings because either you left them or you're not "trying hard enough" to win them back if they were the ones who dumped you, or they're just plain horrible people. Or maybe they want us back but are "testing the waters" to see if you're game. If you ignore her, or be enthusiastic about her dating again, she'll see this as you seeing her as just a friend. Or if you act jealous, she'll know you still have feelings for her and thus, it's "safe" for her to think about coming back.

Cruel, cruel world, I know. But it happens. I suggest you go NC on her and if she asks what's up with the decreased contact, just tell her you're very busy with life. That would make her wonder what's so important about your life than her, thus making her jealous. HA! :P

EJ_1983 · 10-25-2009, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clabs

Hey EJ

That is why friendship rarely works with a ex unless a good deal of time has passed.

Honestly, that was pretty hurtful to tell you this stuff - she sounds really kind and caring!

You really are better off not talking to her anymore because if you do keep in contact, I predict more crappy messages from her.

Take care mate and keep your chin up, eh?

Mark

Cheers for the reply. I have had a really good week and then listening to her going on makes me down again. I so wanted to give her a piece of my mind but had to hold back as don't want to give her the satisifaction of hearing me upset. I just let her ramble on an let her think her life is amazing. I will defo give the NC ago.... lets see how far I get!

EJ_1983 · 10-25-2009, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LillyLooWho

Maybe she is testing you to see if you get upset, which will mean you still care about her. I don't know. Seems like a pretty cruel thing to do to you. Maybe she is mad at you and is trying to punish you?

I held back the upset on this occasion. Previous times she told me she had 'slept' with other guys I got upset and she tells me I need to move on! I was not the one ringing her. I am starting to realise that I am actually a better person than her as if I had broke up with someone I would not call/text them and inform them of things as I know it would hurt them. She knows full well that it upsets me. I plan to ignore all communication from her from now.

10-25-2009, 03:28 PM	#1
EJ_1983 Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: England Gender: Male Posts: 17	Hearing from an EX My ex who dumped me 3 months ago calls me tonight to have a 'chat' - she asks how work is going etc and then tells me how hungover she is. I asked did she have a good night and then she goes on to tell me that she had two guys 'fighting' over her in a nightclub and she found it difficult choosing which one to take home! Then goes on to say that they never had sex, just slept in the same bed! too much detail!!!!! Why on earth she is telling me this I do not know. If I went out on a night out and met a girl, the last person I would call to speak about the meet would be an ex! She has called/text me a few times since we broke up and I think every night out she has had out since we broke up she has taken a guy home according to her. We did decide to remain friends after we split but I think she is just playing a game now - maybe time for NC???? Is she trying to wind me up as it is working! I know we will never get back together but why do I feel like crap when she tells me this...

10-25-2009, 03:41 PM	#2
Theblueman123 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: The Gym Gender: Male Age: 17 Posts: 578	She's just being rude and playing with your emotions, don't respond or reply to her phone call. Whenever ex's play games you should play them back, it gets really fun sometimes __________________ Do something worth remembering.

10-25-2009, 04:50 PM	#5
HeartGoesOn Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Massachusetts Gender: Female Posts: 2,659	You're only setting yourself up for heartache, by being friends with her. __________________ ~ Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance... I hope you dance. ~

10-25-2009, 03:44 PM	#3
Clabs Online Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Gender: Male Age: 49 Posts: 3,721	Hey EJ That is why friendship rarely works with a ex unless a good deal of time has passed. Honestly, that was pretty hurtful to tell you this stuff - she sounds really kind and caring! You really are better off not talking to her anymore because if you do keep in contact, I predict more crappy messages from her. Take care mate and keep your chin up, eh? Mark

10-25-2009, 03:54 PM	#4
LillyLooWho Offline Gold Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: East Coast USA Gender: Female Age: 44 Posts: 783	Maybe she is testing you to see if you get upset, which will mean you still care about her. I don't know. Seems like a pretty cruel thing to do to you. Maybe she is mad at you and is trying to punish you?

10-25-2009, 05:12 PM	#6
vertigoxo Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 2,034	I've had the same thing happening to me. Who knows why some people do this. They want us to be jealous, but the question is, why for? You're happy with your new life without us, and it would be nice to know that you're happy and all... But why tell us the explicit details about you running around with people you're supposedly attracted to? We don't want to know, dude! :P Why would an ex try and make us jealous? No idea. Pride, hurt feelings because either you left them or you're not "trying hard enough" to win them back if they were the ones who dumped you, or they're just plain horrible people. Or maybe they want us back but are "testing the waters" to see if you're game. If you ignore her, or be enthusiastic about her dating again, she'll see this as you seeing her as just a friend. Or if you act jealous, she'll know you still have feelings for her and thus, it's "safe" for her to think about coming back. Cruel, cruel world, I know. But it happens. I suggest you go NC on her and if she asks what's up with the decreased contact, just tell her you're very busy with life. That would make her wonder what's so important about your life than her, thus making her jealous. HA! :P