Victims of society?

Hobbes · 10-22-2009, 07:03 AM

I was wondering about something today. A friend of mine has just had his gf walk out on him after a long time together, 2 kids - lots of property, really building an empire together and she has gone back to her boyfriend she had when she was in late teens, dropped it all. It might be time of year or coincidence but this seems to be happening a lot lately - might be my age and peer group too. Then I started to think about movies and music. My 5 year old nephew, when I go over to my bro's house is sitting there singing 'oohhhh womaniser, womaniser' (probably heard on the school bus or something) which I thought was very cute at first but perhaps is rather sinister? Britney's latest hit song is about freely engaging in threesomes so you have 12-18 year old girls walking down the street singing her lyrics about threesomes as if it's a perfectly normal thing. Hey maybe it is, but what is happening here? Womanising, threesomes, messing around on your partner are being talked about as if a good thing/celebrated?

I noticed in the last year before she left, my gf was suddenly getting into the * * * * * cat dolls, britney, rihanna etc and some of these songs are really focusing on dumping, dropping the *loser* etc - hold on a second ..

Am I just turning into an old fart?

Crazyaboutdogs · 10-22-2009, 07:13 AM

I think society is really messed up these days. People are using the internet as a means to cheat and reconnect with high school loves to re-live their time of innocence before they had adult responsibilities. The media has so influenced society that everything seems to be about sex, sex, sex...and if you aren't doing it then something must be wrong with you...society has bought into that so casual sex, FWBs, threesomes, cheating etc seem to be the norm rather than the exception..and anybody who is more sexually conservative is deemed weird. Yes, I think many people are victims of society in that they are crowd followers and buy into our over-sexualized current "norms".

itsallgrand · 10-22-2009, 07:40 AM

I don't think you are an old fart. lol. Maybe you are, but I've thought some of the same things.

Victims of society? I think the victim mentality has got a little extreme, so has treating human beings as disposable, and that's a big problem.

It's a highly commercial and increasingly global world. Sometimes that scares the crap out of me. Like more and more people are losing their survival senses, and everyone pays for that.

I'm sorry to hear about the circumstances with the people you love.

EQD · 10-22-2009, 07:55 AM

Its always easier to blame it on brittany... i mean--something else.

but when it comes down to it its about integrity.
and thats something that should be instilled in the home when the now-adult used to be a kid living under a parents rooftop.

familys breakup, parents pay less attention, discipline less, are bad role models... i say it comes down to the families. i dont listen to this garbage on the radio thesedays because the message doesnt speak to me. But to someone it does......
thats the thing.

people choose the music.

jenny_mcs · 10-22-2009, 08:10 AM

You're just feeling sensitive. If you were falling in love, you would be noticing all the love songs on the radio and seeing the world thru rose colored glasses. Our emotional state influences how we see the word around us.

Rob1000 · 10-22-2009, 08:23 AM

I agree. It's far too easy to walk out and find the next model when things aren't going well in the current relationship. I will put my house on when my ex finally gets married, she will divorce him at some point. I feel really sorry for whoever he may be.

Blue Shark · 10-22-2009, 09:06 AM

I think it definitely has to do more with the persons upbringing more so than main stream media. My ex's parents are divorced with her father on his third marriage, wheras my parents have been together 40+ yrs through thick and thin. I would have done anything to resolve any problems in the relationship. She on the other hand thought it would just be easier to get up and leave. I am sure witnessing others in her life do this makes it easier.

bulletproof · 10-22-2009, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenny_mcs

You're just feeling sensitive. If you were falling in love, you would be noticing all the love songs on the radio and seeing the world thru rose colored glasses. Our emotional state influences how we see the word around us.

I agree with this.

Also, remember that every generation has the whole society-is-going-to-h*ll-in-a-handbasket mentality. Look at the 60's. But really, the more things change the more they're the same. We have different problems now, but we don't have things like polio, for example.

Hobbes · 10-22-2009, 09:41 AM

With respect, I don't think it has to do with being sensitive - the love songs will always be there and I am aware of them as much as when I was in a blossoming relationship, music has always been about love - 50/50 on falling on love and breakups. I'm talking about more recent sinister undertones and sometimes not even undertones and what is being seen as acceptable. In this entitlement generation where everything is disposable and everything is 'me me me' we are constantly being fed information on what we need to have to be a 'cool' person and this has changed for the worse when compared to a decade or two ago. I remember in the 80s, 'I want your sex' by George Michael was banned in a lot of countries (largely a media stunt) but now that song, the lyrics and video are TOTALLY tame compared to the mainstream now where the message is go fornicate willy nilly - grab a few extras, drop the losers, dress up like a * * * * * , me me me me me.

I'm not a prude in any sense btw but I can't help feeling this is all so wrong. My point was that with all this going on and with young people in particular, relationships have also become more disposable. I'm new to this site, maybe the influx of new dumpees and dumpers is largely the same as several years ago, I don't know. I agree on the point raised about upbringing, this is very important.

Mustachio · 10-22-2009, 10:58 AM

I think is a good thread and a very interesting topic for discussion.

I think I fall on both sides of the spectrum here. On the one hand, I am against extremely conservative values and I think its good that society as a whole is opening up both sexually and in many other ways.

However, on the same token, one thing I do think should be more conservative is relationships and the way they work. After all just because society changes, peoples emotions are still the same (for the most part) people still get just as hurt and heartbroken and it just seems like society tells us not to care. Our society has become one of instant gratification and consumerism. And while this is usually applied directly to retail it spills over into the rest of our lives. Although I am guilty of a lot of this, what happened to hard work and putting in the effort to get something back. It is much more rewarding to work for something and then get your gratification instead of just having it handed to you. However in this society, gratification is instant in many things, and this spills over to relationships. Why would anyone stick around and put in the hard work to fix a relationship when it would be much easier to just find someone new and move on? A sense of responsibility and care for others feelings has not been raised into many people it seems and because of this, they dont know how to truly show love and truly do the work to act on that love.

10-22-2009, 07:03 AM	#1
Hobbes Online Silver Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 444	Victims of society? I was wondering about something today. A friend of mine has just had his gf walk out on him after a long time together, 2 kids - lots of property, really building an empire together and she has gone back to her boyfriend she had when she was in late teens, dropped it all. It might be time of year or coincidence but this seems to be happening a lot lately - might be my age and peer group too. Then I started to think about movies and music. My 5 year old nephew, when I go over to my bro's house is sitting there singing 'oohhhh womaniser, womaniser' (probably heard on the school bus or something) which I thought was very cute at first but perhaps is rather sinister? Britney's latest hit song is about freely engaging in threesomes so you have 12-18 year old girls walking down the street singing her lyrics about threesomes as if it's a perfectly normal thing. Hey maybe it is, but what is happening here? Womanising, threesomes, messing around on your partner are being talked about as if a good thing/celebrated? I noticed in the last year before she left, my gf was suddenly getting into the * * * * * cat dolls, britney, rihanna etc and some of these songs are really focusing on dumping, dropping the loser etc - hold on a second .. Am I just turning into an old fart?

10-22-2009, 07:40 AM	#3
itsallgrand Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: following my grace... Gender: None Specified Posts: 6,783	I don't think you are an old fart. lol. Maybe you are, but I've thought some of the same things. Victims of society? I think the victim mentality has got a little extreme, so has treating human beings as disposable, and that's a big problem. It's a highly commercial and increasingly global world. Sometimes that scares the crap out of me. Like more and more people are losing their survival senses, and everyone pays for that. I'm sorry to hear about the circumstances with the people you love. __________________ "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." Mal Pancoast

10-22-2009, 07:55 AM	#4
EQD Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 5,972	Its always easier to blame it on brittany... i mean--something else. but when it comes down to it its about integrity. and thats something that should be instilled in the home when the now-adult used to be a kid living under a parents rooftop. familys breakup, parents pay less attention, discipline less, are bad role models... i say it comes down to the families. i dont listen to this garbage on the radio thesedays because the message doesnt speak to me. But to someone it does...... thats the thing. people choose the music. __________________ http://sumitsays.com/2009/05/29/in-your-headlights/

10-22-2009, 08:23 AM	#6
Rob1000 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Age: 35 Posts: 652	I agree. It's far too easy to walk out and find the next model when things aren't going well in the current relationship. I will put my house on when my ex finally gets married, she will divorce him at some point. I feel really sorry for whoever he may be. __________________ It's getting better, man! Anyone need a facebook friend?? Add me... www.facebook.com/rwormald

10-22-2009, 07:13 AM	#2
Crazyaboutdogs Online Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,629	I think society is really messed up these days. People are using the internet as a means to cheat and reconnect with high school loves to re-live their time of innocence before they had adult responsibilities. The media has so influenced society that everything seems to be about sex, sex, sex...and if you aren't doing it then something must be wrong with you...society has bought into that so casual sex, FWBs, threesomes, cheating etc seem to be the norm rather than the exception..and anybody who is more sexually conservative is deemed weird. Yes, I think many people are victims of society in that they are crowd followers and buy into our over-sexualized current "norms".

10-22-2009, 08:10 AM	#5
jenny_mcs Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,618	You're just feeling sensitive. If you were falling in love, you would be noticing all the love songs on the radio and seeing the world thru rose colored glasses. Our emotional state influences how we see the word around us.

10-22-2009, 09:06 AM	#7
Blue Shark Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Nowhereville Gender: Male Posts: 71	I think it definitely has to do more with the persons upbringing more so than main stream media. My ex's parents are divorced with her father on his third marriage, wheras my parents have been together 40+ yrs through thick and thin. I would have done anything to resolve any problems in the relationship. She on the other hand thought it would just be easier to get up and leave. I am sure witnessing others in her life do this makes it easier.

10-22-2009, 09:41 AM	#9
Hobbes Online Silver Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 444	With respect, I don't think it has to do with being sensitive - the love songs will always be there and I am aware of them as much as when I was in a blossoming relationship, music has always been about love - 50/50 on falling on love and breakups. I'm talking about more recent sinister undertones and sometimes not even undertones and what is being seen as acceptable. In this entitlement generation where everything is disposable and everything is 'me me me' we are constantly being fed information on what we need to have to be a 'cool' person and this has changed for the worse when compared to a decade or two ago. I remember in the 80s, 'I want your sex' by George Michael was banned in a lot of countries (largely a media stunt) but now that song, the lyrics and video are TOTALLY tame compared to the mainstream now where the message is go fornicate willy nilly - grab a few extras, drop the losers, dress up like a * * * * * , me me me me me. I'm not a prude in any sense btw but I can't help feeling this is all so wrong. My point was that with all this going on and with young people in particular, relationships have also become more disposable. I'm new to this site, maybe the influx of new dumpees and dumpers is largely the same as several years ago, I don't know. I agree on the point raised about upbringing, this is very important.

10-22-2009, 10:58 AM	#10
Mustachio Offline Silver Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 470	I think is a good thread and a very interesting topic for discussion. I think I fall on both sides of the spectrum here. On the one hand, I am against extremely conservative values and I think its good that society as a whole is opening up both sexually and in many other ways. However, on the same token, one thing I do think should be more conservative is relationships and the way they work. After all just because society changes, peoples emotions are still the same (for the most part) people still get just as hurt and heartbroken and it just seems like society tells us not to care. Our society has become one of instant gratification and consumerism. And while this is usually applied directly to retail it spills over into the rest of our lives. Although I am guilty of a lot of this, what happened to hard work and putting in the effort to get something back. It is much more rewarding to work for something and then get your gratification instead of just having it handed to you. However in this society, gratification is instant in many things, and this spills over to relationships. Why would anyone stick around and put in the hard work to fix a relationship when it would be much easier to just find someone new and move on? A sense of responsibility and care for others feelings has not been raised into many people it seems and because of this, they dont know how to truly show love and truly do the work to act on that love.