the psychology of this online relationship

stormie · 10-16-2009, 04:00 PM

I have a friend who was a part of a chatroom that she used to log into almost all the time and then for about a year or so and for hours on end.

Eventually, she met someone in the chatroom whom she liked and who liked her back. They were in the same country but very different locations so they could not meet in person.

But, they were both so close online and considered "partners in crime" in the chatroom. In fact, they became online boyfriend and girlfriend. They were so close that everyone who was also in the chatroom merged both of their screen names, just like they do in Hollywood, i.e. "Brad and Angelina = Brangelina", etc.

They both started to talk to each other on the telephone, and send each other packages and pictures, etc.

This behavior continued on for about 1 year.

Well, the time came when they both wanted to meet, so the two of them made arrangements and booked a hotel room for ten days so that they can both stay there together and take their online romance physically or to new levels.

Lo and behold, when the the two of them finally met, the guy acted as if he didn't know her. In fact, she claims that its as if their entire online history had completley vanished. She was shocked, and cried every single day and wanted to go home, but they had already booked the hotel for ten days, so she tried to make the best of it.

She claims that they had sex only 2 times from the entire time they were there but that he remained aloof.

When she went back home, the guy was no where to be found online or otherwise.

One day, he called her out of the blue and apologized. He said that it was cause he is a veteran involved in some war and his mind was not "in it", but that he'd like to try again.

But my girlfriend, being that she was so hurt by the situation, completely ignored him.

So my question is, I guess - Personally, I don't believe that "war veteran" traumatized story. Would you?

If not, what other explanation could there possibly be?

waveseer · 10-16-2009, 04:02 PM

He is married.

lunarstar0131 · 10-16-2009, 04:08 PM

I agree with waveseer...if his mind was not "in" it he wouldn't have been able to stay "in" it for a whole year.

He knew what he was doing...hello they were sending each other packages and all kinds of other stuff.

He probably realized he got in too far and he decided to do the easy things which was ditch your friend!

D_Lish · 10-16-2009, 04:14 PM

If he was married, I doubt he'd have booked 10 days in a hotel.....unless he has a very trusting wife.

I think he felt no 'real life' spark for his ladyfriend.....hence POOF.

He comes back and with a bullcrap fairytale and likely because:

1. His sex supply has ran short and he's looking for a hookup.
2. No other options open to him at the present moment and he's bored.
3. Same time he met you, he had another option open to him.....shes dumped him, so he comes back to you.
4. He's bored stupid and lonely....

waveseer · 10-16-2009, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D_Lish

If he was married, I doubt he'd have booked 10 days in a hotel.....unless he has a very trusting wife.

I think he felt no 'real life' spark for his ladyfriend.....hence POOF.

He comes back and with a bullcrap fairytale and likely because:

1. His sex supply has ran short and he's looking for a hookup.
2. No other options open to him at the present moment and he's bored.
3. Same time he met you, he had another option open to him.....shes dumped him, so he comes back to you.
4. He's bored stupid and lonely....

Married people go away for "business" all the time.

kaoticbaby · 10-16-2009, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waveseer

Married people go away for "business" all the time.

i'm going to have trust issues for the rest of my life.

waveseer · 10-16-2009, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaoticbaby

i'm going to have trust issues for the rest of my life.

I hope you don't ever have a reason to develop trust issues with your spouse.

D_Lish · 10-16-2009, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaoticbaby

i'm going to have trust issues for the rest of my life.

If its any condolence, they have affairs from the home too...and without going away

lunarstar0131 · 10-16-2009, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waveseer

Married people go away for "business" all the time.

I agree...

lunarstar0131 · 10-16-2009, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaoticbaby

i'm going to have trust issues for the rest of my life.

Not everyone is the same Kaotic...there are men worth trusting. Heck we need to remember that it is not just men who do this women are guilty of cheating and all kinds of other things too!

10-16-2009, 04:00 PM	#1
stormie Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 72	the psychology of this online relationship I have a friend who was a part of a chatroom that she used to log into almost all the time and then for about a year or so and for hours on end. Eventually, she met someone in the chatroom whom she liked and who liked her back. They were in the same country but very different locations so they could not meet in person. But, they were both so close online and considered "partners in crime" in the chatroom. In fact, they became online boyfriend and girlfriend. They were so close that everyone who was also in the chatroom merged both of their screen names, just like they do in Hollywood, i.e. "Brad and Angelina = Brangelina", etc. They both started to talk to each other on the telephone, and send each other packages and pictures, etc. This behavior continued on for about 1 year. Well, the time came when they both wanted to meet, so the two of them made arrangements and booked a hotel room for ten days so that they can both stay there together and take their online romance physically or to new levels. Lo and behold, when the the two of them finally met, the guy acted as if he didn't know her. In fact, she claims that its as if their entire online history had completley vanished. She was shocked, and cried every single day and wanted to go home, but they had already booked the hotel for ten days, so she tried to make the best of it. She claims that they had sex only 2 times from the entire time they were there but that he remained aloof. When she went back home, the guy was no where to be found online or otherwise. One day, he called her out of the blue and apologized. He said that it was cause he is a veteran involved in some war and his mind was not "in it", but that he'd like to try again. But my girlfriend, being that she was so hurt by the situation, completely ignored him. So my question is, I guess - Personally, I don't believe that "war veteran" traumatized story. Would you? If not, what other explanation could there possibly be?

10-16-2009, 04:02 PM	#2
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,062	He is married. __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

10-16-2009, 04:08 PM	#3
lunarstar0131 Offline Gold Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 661	I agree with waveseer...if his mind was not "in" it he wouldn't have been able to stay "in" it for a whole year. He knew what he was doing...hello they were sending each other packages and all kinds of other stuff. He probably realized he got in too far and he decided to do the easy things which was ditch your friend! __________________ Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

10-16-2009, 04:14 PM	#4
D_Lish Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: England UK Gender: Female Age: 34 Posts: 3,728	If he was married, I doubt he'd have booked 10 days in a hotel.....unless he has a very trusting wife. I think he felt no 'real life' spark for his ladyfriend.....hence POOF. He comes back and with a bullcrap fairytale and likely because: 1. His sex supply has ran short and he's looking for a hookup. 2. No other options open to him at the present moment and he's bored. 3. Same time he met you, he had another option open to him.....shes dumped him, so he comes back to you. 4. He's bored stupid and lonely....