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Sharing Bed with Grown Son


prettymommy

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I have to ask this.....

 

A guy I use to date.... whenever his mother would come to town to visit him, she and her son would sleep in the same bed.

 

Granted, it was a king sized bed.

 

BUT.... at the time I dated him, he was in his early 30's....

 

 

Does this strike anyone else as strange? Why not sleep on the sofa, or an air mattress ( I know he had one)?

 

Or is this a common practice for a bachleor when his mother comes to visit?

 

I know for myself, I would NEVER share the same bed overnight (not to mention for several nights) with my father. I love my father to death, and think it's one of the greatest men out there, but I would never do it. I'm in my 30's, and think that would just be strange to share a bed with my almost 60-something father. So why would it be okay for a mother and her 30-something son to share a bed?

 

Heck, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable when my 7 years old slips in to my bed from time to time after a bad dream at night.... I can't imagine sharing the same bed with him, even for convienence sake, another 25 years down the road.

 

 

Thoughts? Strange? Normal? Am I missing something? For some reason this popped in my head today and I remember thinking it odd.

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I would definitely agree that it is weird. Did he just randomly tell you one day..." I sleep in the same bed as my mother?"

 

No. From what I remember, he had some surgery on his nose and his mother came down for a week to help him recuperiate (another strange one, IMHO. What grown man needs his mother to take care of him for a week after a little minor nose surgery?) ANYWAYS... I just remember him saying one day that his Mom kept him up with her snoring, and he said he rolled over and pinched her to make her stop, or something to that effect. So that's where I "found" out.

 

In subsequent visits his mother made while my ex and I were dating, similar stuff was said to me.

 

I guess I am wondering that, since my ex was the first guy I had dated in awhile after getting out of another LTR that had started in my early 20's, now that I am in my 30's and contemplating dating again, if that is something I should expect. I had felt like saying something at the time (that it made me uncomfortable) but didn't. I guess I'm thinking that if it is indeed the norm for men in their 30's to sleep in the same bed as their visiting mother, that maybe it's not my place to say anything b/c I'm not aware of this norm...

 

But from what it sounds like, it's not really the norm....

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Well I think Michael Jackson once said the most wonderful thing a person can do is share their bed....

 

That said, I dont see it as troubling, I cant imagine doing it, but I dont think they are doing anything wrong. Hell I have been on golf trips with buds and there are always 2 guys who are forced to share the king sized room. I always get there early to scope out a single bed...LOL

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Well I think Michael Jackson once said the most wonderful thing a person can do is share their bed....

 

That said, I dont see it as troubling, I cant imagine doing it, but I dont think they are doing anything wrong. Hell I have been on golf trips with buds and there are always 2 guys who are forced to share the king sized room. I always get there early to scope out a single bed...LOL

 

Yeah.... I 've done that too, with my girlfriends. Doesn't bother me in the least and I don't think it's odd.

 

I just would never with my mother, father, or brother. Share a room? Certainly. Share a bed? No.

 

I dunno. It just seems strange to me. Reminds me of the relationship dipicted on Sex and the City between Charlotte's first husband and his mother... Are they doing anything wrong? No. But...

 

I dunno. As his girlfriend at the time, I was not comfortable with the situation. Seemed improper. I mean, think about it conversely: would a guy be comfortable with his girlfriend sharing her bed with her father for up to a week at a time?

 

I doubt it...

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i've shared a bed with my mom when i was around 17, and i didn't find it weird, but that was a special circumstance (we were staying at a hotel the night before my sisters wedding and when we got there, we found out that there was a graveyard next to our window. i kind of freaked out and my mom stayed with me in my room, haha.)

 

but i couldn't imagine doing it for a week straight, that would just be uncomfortable. however i guess it depends on their relationship. i know a guy (23 years old) who is extremely close to his mom, and would share a bed with her occasionally after his dad/her husband died in order to comfort her.

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I think it would depend on the people. If your ex was a bit off about it, or his mother was, or the two of them seemed odd when they were together, then there might be something weird about it. Where I grew up, sometimes you'd get a nasty cold snap in the night and my mum and me would share a bed. It wouldn't have occurred to me to do it for no reason, but I guess some people could get used to it as kids and not think on it when they got older. Maybe they're just really close. Maybe they just lay in bed and talk to each other or something. I've done that with my sisters from time to time.

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A lot depends on the culture. Some cultures sleep that way.

 

But if he's from a western culture, it is a bit odd to do that, unless there was no other alternative to where the person could sleep. And if they CHOSE to sleep this way when there were other alternatives (couch etc.), then yes, it is strange.

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It nothing to worry about. I think he was just trying to be polite, but at the same time not give up his bed. The sofa could be really unconfortable to sleep on overnight, I know when fall asleep on the couch when I wake up I'm stiff. So why put himselft thorugh something like that, why put his monther through something like that. Plus, the bed is a king size bed which is huge. My cousin has one and we could fit 5 of us on that matress. Like lavenderdove mentioed, culture plays a big role into it. A lot of things that are done here in North America, like moving out before marriage other then for school, is not really something that happens in Europe that often. Here people will find it strange, while in Europe or other parts of the world might not see it as a problem. At end of the day I see it this way, as long as they we not doing anything then there is nothing wrong it.

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Thoughts? Strange? Normal?

 

Well, these things are all relative, aren't they? What's normal to one is bizarre to another.

 

Let me put it this way, though: if I were to sleep in the same bed as my mother - or any of my family were to do so - I would consider it tremendously strange!

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Let me put it this way, though: if I were to sleep in the same bed as my mother - or any of my family were to do so - I would consider it tremendously strange!

 

 

 

Here's my thought on it:

 

I am thirty-two. If I told people I shared my king-sized bed with my fifty-seven year old father every time he comes to visit, despite the fact I have a large sofa and inflatable air mattress, they would probably do a double take.

 

For some reason, some people seem to think it 's more acceptable for a grown son to sleep with his mother... I don't.

 

When my son is thirty-four and I go to visit him, I know I will NEVER share a bed with him, out of respect for his privacy (and any possible woman in his life). And if it's the only bed in his place, I would expect him to give up his bed and sleep on the sofa, out of respect to me as his mother and the fact I raised him and sacrificed a lot for his advantage. Not to mention I would want MY privacy.....

 

I dunno. For me, the practice is just strange.

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hey pm...this is totally bizarre. I would have been super uncomfortable.

 

My bf is 30. For the last 4 years, my bf has floored it, or slept on the couch when his parents came to visit, so that they could have his bed. I know when his mom has came to visit on her own, he has acted similarly....I can't imagine that kind of relationship...was he a momma's boy?

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No, not an only child, but he could be called a mama's boy... his mother just coddles and dots on her two grown sons. Always sending care packages, calling them every day (or more!) buying them things, cooking them their favorite meals each time the come home (plus more to take home!) and taking one or two family vacations together each year. Really, a little too intrusive on their lives, IMHO. She got involved in areas she really had no business (like her other's son's marriage).

 

The mother basically lived her life for her sons (was a stay-at-home Mom her entire life- and still is- with little outside hobbies or volunteer work to occupy her). She is a sweet, sweet, kind woman, and she was very good to me and my son, so I don't like to rag on her, esp. since her family is basically her whole life, but still....

 

I know my ex sometimes got annoyed by his mother, but I secretly wonder if he didn't like all the attention and pampering. When he would go home for a weekend visit, he would just sit on the sofa all day, watching TV, while his mother would be working all day in the kitchen to make his favorite meals, or cleaning, etc.

 

If that makes the ex a mama's boy, but now that I think about it... maybe?

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It all depends on the culture.

 

In my Italian family, my 25 year old cousin sleeps with my 85 year old grandma. When my grandma was a girl, she and her siblings shared a big bed because they were poor (3 people per bed). It's not that common in America, from what I know, but some people have different ways of living. Doesn't really make it wrong.

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I grew up sleeping with my mom and dad..when my dad started working a new job..being gone for weeks at a time..I got used to it being just my mom and I.

 

To be honest, I used to be embarassed about this..but I really honestly don't care anymore. I still sleep with my mom at 19.

 

I'm so used to having a body near me when I sleep, I can't fall asleep without someone. I'm severely dependant on someone being next to me.

 

I don't see a problem with having a child climb into bed every once and a while with you..but just know that it can cause issues with sleeping as they grow older..[example: me.]..

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