Girl with guy friends. Tough situation

Newguy11 · 10-16-2009, 12:36 AM

Hey.

I'm in my first relationship with a girl I work with. I say its my first relationship because it may mean I'm being insecure. Its created a tough situation for me at times. When we first got together she told me about a few guys at work that "crush" on her. She'll meet up with one of these guys to hang out with. She's very honest about what she does and who she sees and doesn't neglect to tell me anything even if she thinks it might upset me.

Problem is we can't be very open with our relationship because of complications at work, yet she likes to hang out with these guy friends(from work) and talk to them via text, messenger etc... These are the same guys she's told me have feelings for her. Shes said she doesn't have many friends and these guys are her friends. I don't know of any female friends in her life, and all the guy friends in her life are people who can't really know shes in a relationship. Shes also very much against 'letting the cat out of the bag' about us dating.

The trouble for me is her being around guys I know beyond a doubt are trying to get with her. Even though I don't have any reason to suspect shes interested in being anything more than friends with them. It just can be really tough for me. I'm very much into this girl and want to keep her around..

Any advice?

waveseer · 10-16-2009, 12:40 AM

Trust her.

Trust her for being open and honest with you.
Trust her for preferring to be with you.
Trust her for knowing how to fend off unwanted advances.
Trust her for the health of your relationship.
Trust her for being who she is.

Ivory_Tower · 10-16-2009, 12:43 AM

If anything, this could be to your benefit. Since the majority of her friends are guys you both may experience fewer misunderstandings because she "gets guys" if you understand me.

She wouldn't be with you if she liked them.

Theblueman123 · 10-16-2009, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ivory_Tower

She wouldn't be with you if she liked them.

Or you may have chosen a girl who ends up playing everyone involved with her, even though there are very low chances of this happening. I tried telling myself that "They were just friends", but the truth is that if your gut feeling knows that something is wrong then listen to it.

In my case she was still keeping 3 of her ex's dangling around, and she still had feelings for two of them (I found out her game after the 2nd incident, you can't play a player). I never truly found out what a monster my ex was until after she left. I recently got back in contact and she's been bragging about how many guys she's manipulating to get whatever she wants and how "crazy" her life is because of how many guys she is stringing along.

Just be on the lookout for those crazy women out there, when you get the vibe that they're absolutely bad news, runnnnnn away.

zzprometheuszz · 10-16-2009, 02:45 AM

girls like that loves attention

she hangs out with people like that cause they give her attention

she hangs out with you cause she's attracted to you

if you want anything serious with her you going to have to trust her until she gives you a reason not to

two can play at this game, think about it

10-16-2009, 12:36 AM	#1
Newguy11 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 5	Girl with guy friends. Tough situation Hey. I'm in my first relationship with a girl I work with. I say its my first relationship because it may mean I'm being insecure. Its created a tough situation for me at times. When we first got together she told me about a few guys at work that "crush" on her. She'll meet up with one of these guys to hang out with. She's very honest about what she does and who she sees and doesn't neglect to tell me anything even if she thinks it might upset me. Problem is we can't be very open with our relationship because of complications at work, yet she likes to hang out with these guy friends(from work) and talk to them via text, messenger etc... These are the same guys she's told me have feelings for her. Shes said she doesn't have many friends and these guys are her friends. I don't know of any female friends in her life, and all the guy friends in her life are people who can't really know shes in a relationship. Shes also very much against 'letting the cat out of the bag' about us dating. The trouble for me is her being around guys I know beyond a doubt are trying to get with her. Even though I don't have any reason to suspect shes interested in being anything more than friends with them. It just can be really tough for me. I'm very much into this girl and want to keep her around.. Any advice?

10-16-2009, 12:40 AM	#2
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,065	Trust her. Trust her for being open and honest with you. Trust her for preferring to be with you. Trust her for knowing how to fend off unwanted advances. Trust her for the health of your relationship. Trust her for being who she is. __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

10-16-2009, 12:43 AM	#3
Ivory_Tower Offline Gold Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: The Imagination of Michael Ende Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 959	If anything, this could be to your benefit. Since the majority of her friends are guys you both may experience fewer misunderstandings because she "gets guys" if you understand me. She wouldn't be with you if she liked them. __________________ <----R.I.P Jonathan Brandis (1976-2003) "Your story is Neverending in our hearts." In the beginning, it is always dark. -The Childlike Empress What kind of fool, what kind of fool am I ? I look for shadows in the sun, for memories of days to come, In your eyes I feel the flames of love. -Fancy, "Flames of Love"

10-16-2009, 02:45 AM	#5
zzprometheuszz Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 228	girls like that loves attention she hangs out with people like that cause they give her attention she hangs out with you cause she's attracted to you if you want anything serious with her you going to have to trust her until she gives you a reason not to two can play at this game, think about it