Lung Cancer.

_Asti_ · 10-06-2009, 07:17 PM

Has anyone had someone close to them pass from lung cancer?
Or work in the medical field where a patient died from it?

I don't want to be morbid, but I have such fears about my Mother and how her death will be.

Her cough is insanely worse, to the point where she stops breathing because she can't catch her breath.

I have awful images of it being a long drawn out process, or having to see her suffer through it all.

I've been resisting searching around online, but I'm at the point where my curiosity is killing me and causing me to break down.

If you're not comfortable sharing it, please PM me.

Thanks.

dangletsbang · 10-06-2009, 07:19 PM

I work with lung cancer patients every day. It's different with each person, though.

How long has she been diagnosed? What are the treatments she's undergoing; surgery, chemo, etc? Do you know what stage she's in?

**avman** · 10-06-2009, 07:20 PM

My father died ultimately from lung cancer, though it didn't initially start there.

I don't want to make you feel worse than you already do, but it was pretty bad. You'll have to tell me just how much you can handle to hear about this.

_Asti_ · 10-06-2009, 07:24 PM

She was diagnosed with stage 4 tongue cancer last Christmas, which spread to the lymph nodes, and her lungs.
They said she was palliative in March, and her latest tests revealed her lungs covered with cancer.

Right now she's just on light chemo for palliative care, as they said. More of a control, than a cure.

dangletsbang · 10-06-2009, 07:28 PM

Like avman said, I don't really know how much you're wanting to hear. I'm so sorry - cancer is a horrible, horrible thing. Especially when it's a loved one going through it.

_Asti_ · 10-06-2009, 07:32 PM

I just don't know what to do.
The urge to know really gets to me. Maybe like a brace myself for the worst type of situation, that if I know what to expect, I could deal with it better.

Just the fear of the unknown is really getting to me.

dangletsbang · 10-06-2009, 07:34 PM

Just cherish the moments you have with her, it's really all you can do. Just remember, this isn't your fault..please don't feel guilty.

Be her cheerleader - cancer patients need as much positive motivation as possible.

fixyou_ · 10-06-2009, 07:35 PM

I had an Aunt with lung cancer pass just over a year ago. We weren't really that close, but it was so tough for her. She was a really good person. She found out about it about 8 months before she died, I guess it was really aggressive. I couldn't bring myself to see her in the hospital, I had seen her a month before and she looked so pale, but she still had a sense of humour. At her funeral she looked so peaceful. Just try and put the cancer aside and treat her like you normally would, but of course accommodating her. If there's anywhere close to you with beautiful scenery, take her there and bring a camera. Let her take some pictures and take some of both of you together and (assuming she'll be in a wheelchair) drive her around for a bit. That's what I would want.

I have an Aunt that I am close to, who survived breast cancer, but it is throughout her bones and she's had brain surgery twice. She is the most energetic person I know, and ever knew. It's hitting hard on here lately though, she has to use a cane or a wheelchair if it's an event we go to. It's a good thing she likes being pampered. I don't talk to her about it, because I know how hard it is for her to keep it together... but I always bring her treats

.

_Asti_ · 10-06-2009, 07:37 PM

I don't feel guilty at all.
I feel sad for her. Sad for what she's going to miss out on. Sad for what I will miss out on.

It just feels beyond positive motivation. It is the beginning of the end, its quite evident, and its far tougher than I imagined, especially when its long and drawn out, and to see her slowly go a little bit more each day.

Crazyaboutdogs · 10-06-2009, 07:40 PM

Lung cancer is very difficult on the patient and on the family members. What I would suggest is to talk to someone at the Cancer Centre..perhaps there is a volunteer organization which provides emotional support as well as information. They will be able to talk to you and get a better feeling on how much information would be beneficial for you based on your discussions with them. They will also be there for you if the information is causing you distress. If you are not ready to look up information online then you are probably not prepared to hear the stories from people online. Meeting supportive, knowledgeable, experienced people face to face might be more helpful to you and you might be able to face it knowing there are people there who can cater to you if you become distressed.

10-06-2009, 07:17 PM	#1
_Asti_ Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 2,353	Lung Cancer. Has anyone had someone close to them pass from lung cancer? Or work in the medical field where a patient died from it? I don't want to be morbid, but I have such fears about my Mother and how her death will be. Her cough is insanely worse, to the point where she stops breathing because she can't catch her breath. I have awful images of it being a long drawn out process, or having to see her suffer through it all. I've been resisting searching around online, but I'm at the point where my curiosity is killing me and causing me to break down. If you're not comfortable sharing it, please PM me. Thanks. __________________ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ __________________ I got so much love For you darlin' and I, I wanna let you know how I feel And it's true that I love you And it's true your the only one and I do, I adore you And it's true You make me feel alive ___________________

10-06-2009, 07:19 PM	#2
dangletsbang Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: reppin' - lonestar state. Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 1,167	I work with lung cancer patients every day. It's different with each person, though. How long has she been diagnosed? What are the treatments she's undergoing; surgery, chemo, etc? Do you know what stage she's in? __________________ around this turn..where the cross will cast your shadow.. the people will all gather to remember such a day; where the flames grew as high as trees.. and the world stopped for you and me.

10-06-2009, 07:20 PM	#3
avman Offline Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Minnesota Gender: Male Age: 42 Posts: 6,524	My father died ultimately from lung cancer, though it didn't initially start there. I don't want to make you feel worse than you already do, but it was pretty bad. You'll have to tell me just how much you can handle to hear about this. __________________ "Children are a wonderful gift . . . They have an extraordinary capacity to see into the heart of things and to expose sham and humbug for what they are." Desmond Tutu

10-06-2009, 07:24 PM	#4
_Asti_ Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 2,353	She was diagnosed with stage 4 tongue cancer last Christmas, which spread to the lymph nodes, and her lungs. They said she was palliative in March, and her latest tests revealed her lungs covered with cancer. Right now she's just on light chemo for palliative care, as they said. More of a control, than a cure. __________________ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ __________________ I got so much love For you darlin' and I, I wanna let you know how I feel And it's true that I love you And it's true your the only one and I do, I adore you And it's true You make me feel alive ___________________

10-06-2009, 07:28 PM	#5
dangletsbang Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: reppin' - lonestar state. Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 1,167	Like avman said, I don't really know how much you're wanting to hear. I'm so sorry - cancer is a horrible, horrible thing. Especially when it's a loved one going through it. __________________ around this turn..where the cross will cast your shadow.. the people will all gather to remember such a day; where the flames grew as high as trees.. and the world stopped for you and me.

10-06-2009, 07:32 PM	#6
_Asti_ Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 2,353	I just don't know what to do. The urge to know really gets to me. Maybe like a brace myself for the worst type of situation, that if I know what to expect, I could deal with it better. Just the fear of the unknown is really getting to me. __________________ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ __________________ I got so much love For you darlin' and I, I wanna let you know how I feel And it's true that I love you And it's true your the only one and I do, I adore you And it's true You make me feel alive ___________________

10-06-2009, 07:34 PM	#7
dangletsbang Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: reppin' - lonestar state. Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 1,167	Just cherish the moments you have with her, it's really all you can do. Just remember, this isn't your fault..please don't feel guilty. Be her cheerleader - cancer patients need as much positive motivation as possible. __________________ around this turn..where the cross will cast your shadow.. the people will all gather to remember such a day; where the flames grew as high as trees.. and the world stopped for you and me.

10-06-2009, 07:35 PM	#8
fixyou_ Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: MA Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 318	I had an Aunt with lung cancer pass just over a year ago. We weren't really that close, but it was so tough for her. She was a really good person. She found out about it about 8 months before she died, I guess it was really aggressive. I couldn't bring myself to see her in the hospital, I had seen her a month before and she looked so pale, but she still had a sense of humour. At her funeral she looked so peaceful. Just try and put the cancer aside and treat her like you normally would, but of course accommodating her. If there's anywhere close to you with beautiful scenery, take her there and bring a camera. Let her take some pictures and take some of both of you together and (assuming she'll be in a wheelchair) drive her around for a bit. That's what I would want. I have an Aunt that I am close to, who survived breast cancer, but it is throughout her bones and she's had brain surgery twice. She is the most energetic person I know, and ever knew. It's hitting hard on here lately though, she has to use a cane or a wheelchair if it's an event we go to. It's a good thing she likes being pampered. I don't talk to her about it, because I know how hard it is for her to keep it together... but I always bring her treats . __________________ Unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense. e. e. cummings

10-06-2009, 07:37 PM	#9
_Asti_ Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 2,353	I don't feel guilty at all. I feel sad for her. Sad for what she's going to miss out on. Sad for what I will miss out on. It just feels beyond positive motivation. It is the beginning of the end, its quite evident, and its far tougher than I imagined, especially when its long and drawn out, and to see her slowly go a little bit more each day. __________________ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ __________________ I got so much love For you darlin' and I, I wanna let you know how I feel And it's true that I love you And it's true your the only one and I do, I adore you And it's true You make me feel alive ___________________

10-06-2009, 07:40 PM	#10
Crazyaboutdogs Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,627	Lung cancer is very difficult on the patient and on the family members. What I would suggest is to talk to someone at the Cancer Centre..perhaps there is a volunteer organization which provides emotional support as well as information. They will be able to talk to you and get a better feeling on how much information would be beneficial for you based on your discussions with them. They will also be there for you if the information is causing you distress. If you are not ready to look up information online then you are probably not prepared to hear the stories from people online. Meeting supportive, knowledgeable, experienced people face to face might be more helpful to you and you might be able to face it knowing there are people there who can cater to you if you become distressed.