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  1. #1
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    What are signs your partner is taking you for granted?

    Hi,

    What would you say are some of the signs or typical things if your being taken for granted by your partner?

    I feel my boyfriend takes me for granted.

    Just cursious to see what people think (like a list) of things that may be for that to see if im on the right track.

    thanks

  2. #2
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
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    They have moved you down one or more positions on their priority list.
    Look for the good in yourself and others, it will change your life.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member WomanWriter's Avatar
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    When I felt my ex was taking me for granted, here were my thoughts:

    --he seemed more interested in videogames, porn, work, food, and his brothers than in really spending time with me.

    --he laughed more at other people's jokes and stories than mine

    --he didn't thank me or seemed to just expect me making food for him...was not grateful or appreciative that I thouht of him

    --when I'd listen to his stories of woe and comforted him, he was mean to me and didn't seem to appreciate my listening very much

    --he didn't value my opinion as much as he valued others,' even strangers

    --he didn't seem to care about the cards or photos I gave him, judging by the way he took care of them (leaving them in the car, spilling stuff on them, walking on them if they were on the floor)....just wasn't moved or affected by my feelings for him, it seemed

    --didn't tell me he loved me very often anymore, didn't want to take a shower with me because he'd "get cold" (this was towards the end...he used to be gung ho about it)

    --didn't want to get out of the car when we went to the Marina because it was "too cold." Just never very enthusiastic about being passionate with me (except for sex)...no interest in romance and closeness if it involved effort or thought

    --ignored me when we were together and fell asleep half the time (during the day)...inconsiderate and did not try to please me, but watched what HE wanted on TV, surfed the web for songs, showed little interest in me...just acted polite, but I could see the glaze in his eyes

    --didn't care about spending time together

    --seems more interested in his male friends than you

    I hope your ex isn't taking you for granted!

  4. #4
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    thank you.


    yeah i feel my boyfriend doesn't care about seeing me, spending time with me, im the last option on his list. I never come first in anything.

    He studies - i know he has 'homework' to do and all that, but it feels he would rather watch the Family Guy on tv then speak with me.

    he expects me to be free when he wants to do something tho, and on the odd times (like twice_ ive said i was busy he swears at me. I ask him to do stuff a lot and always get a no im busy. ive stopped asking.

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  6. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by twofour View Post
    thank you.


    yeah i feel my boyfriend doesn't care about seeing me, spending time with me, im the last option on his list. I never come first in anything.

    He studies - i know he has 'homework' to do and all that, but it feels he would rather watch the Family Guy on tv then speak with me.

    he expects me to be free when he wants to do something tho, and on the odd times (like twice_ ive said i was busy he swears at me. I ask him to do stuff a lot and always get a no im busy. ive stopped asking.
    Don't let him play you, he wants to have it all and he doesn't want to do anything for it. Those kind of people are selfish and self-centered. I know because my ex strung me along and used me to get what she wanted, all the while telling me that "They were acts of kindness because we loved each other". What a bunch of sh-t.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member arcadefire's Avatar
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    Some signs are that he forgets important dates, anniversaries, or doesn't prioritize seeing you or spending time with you. An example that happened to me was that I was leaving out of the country for a couple months and my then bf never came to say goodbye until the last minute because he wanted to get 5 extra points on this test.
    I've been searching for a heart of gold...
    - Neil Young

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theblueman123 View Post
    Don't let him play you, he wants to have it all and he doesn't want to do anything for it. Those kind of people are selfish and self-centered. I know because my ex strung me along and used me to get what she wanted, all the while telling me that "They were acts of kindness because we loved each other". What a bunch of sh-t.
    yeah. the way he is acting lately, is coming off that he just isn't interested but assures me he is...

    maybe because he gets sex when HE wants. yes, always when he wants. i haven't actually had it for 2 weeks. he tried something 'new' last week, that got him off but is something when the girl is at that time of the month. funny thign was, i wasn't on it!

    so with that too, a man in his 20's, is fine with having sex once a week or once every two weeks? that doesn't seem that right.

    maybe im under the wrong impression, but i thought a boyfriend would WANT his girlfriend to sleep over - not always sex, but just sleep, cuddle etc. but i guess not.

  9. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by arcadefire View Post
    Some signs are that he forgets important dates, anniversaries, or doesn't prioritize seeing you or spending time with you. An example that happened to me was that I was leaving out of the country for a couple months and my then bf never came to say goodbye until the last minute because he wanted to get 5 extra points on this test.
    wow. how long did it last after that?!

    yeah, im never a priority. never. ive seen him abotu 3 hours in an entire week.

    it maks me feel that he doesn't want to see me, spend time with me, he'd rather be doing anythign else than somethign with me.

    i haven't actually spent a WHOLE day with him. We've been together for 8 months nearly.

  10. #9
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    Did not get ANYTHING for my bday except for a phone call.

    Left for out of town on a major holiday (w/out consulting w/ me 1st)

    Postponing our dates.

    Knew that i would always say "yes" to the changing of our date nites.

    Not calling when he said he would.

    Needless to say, I dumped him a few days ago. I couldn't do this before, but i feel sooo much better about myself, and I'm glad I did it....should've done it earlier. Always, easier said than done, but I had to grow myself a pair and it took awhile before I could do it. It took me 2xs cut if off w/ him. Much easier the 2nd time around. Realized, he wasn't worth it and I deserve soo much better!

  11. #10
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    I used to be nice like you darling girls and I would always understand if he would prefer to do something else instead of seeing me or doing something with me. Because it was his own choice.

    However 6 months down the road, I started realizing he was taking me for granted. Sometimes, he wouldn't even see me in a whole week cause he was "busy" even though he had time to see his friends, family and spend a couple hours with his cousins each night. But everytime he wanted to see me, I would always squeeze time in for him and it usually ends with sex. >.>

    Then when i got a puppy and had to bring it up and took it to kindergarten classes, I realized I was teaching my bf to treat me that way!!! I wasn't hindering him from using me or ignoring me, instead I was encouraging his behaviour by giving him exactly what he wanted with no effort!!!

    So I changed my approach to how I treated him, getting extremely upset when he bailed on dates to do other things and not giving him sex at times, hanging out with friends instead of him. Eventually, he ended up ringing me and saying how I never hung out with him anymore and accusations of me cheating on him... I reminded him of how he was always "busy". We made up after a really long talk.

    Things have been pretty stable since but that was through a lot of talking and showing him that I won't be taking his poo. He still does things that makes me mad but some things are taboo and I can't talk to him about. But most of the other things, can be worked out.

    All I'm saying is that changing your approach to you treat him, talking things over will help. Getting upset about things you think you have a right to as a gf is okay but make sure there's not too much drama. If the guy is still unwilling to try, you know what to do.

    @twofour: O.O I just read your other comment. Are you really okay with him sleeping with other people? This guy sounds like he's cheating... which is why he hasn't paid much attention to you.

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