Universal Beauty--does this help in finding a mate?

Longblackhair · 09-23-2009, 01:24 PM

Are there some people who have universal beauty that just appeals to a large range of people--like people of different races are attracted to you instead of just one race?

do you have it or wish you did?

i wish i did. I have a look that is only considered attractive in one race. outside of it not so much. I am going to get plastic surgery to get a more universal look to increase my chances of finding someone and living a happier life

LightbulbSun · 09-23-2009, 01:29 PM

I have a geeky look that only appeals to certain women. I know if I looked like Brad Pitt, I'd appeal to a lot more women, but that would require plastic surgery, lots of weightlifting, and the loss of glasses.

greywolf · 09-23-2009, 01:34 PM

Yes, there are types of beauty that appeal to more people than others. I, personally, would prefer to have the type of beauty that appeals only to certain people.

OP, I'm sure you are too hard on yourself. You can find someone who loves you for who you are now.

Longblackhair · 09-23-2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greywolf

Yes, there are types of beauty that appeal to more people than others. I, personally, would prefer to have the type of beauty that appeals only to certain people.

OP, I'm sure you are too hard on yourself. You can find someone who loves you for who you are now.

I want the kind that appeals to more people. I am going to start with a nosejob to make my nose slimmer and a few other things.

ersatz81 · 09-23-2009, 02:02 PM

- Before you go down that route, think seriously about the personal and political (yes, political -this is bigger than yourself) repercussions of what you want to do. Altering yourself surgically in order to come a little closer to a false canon of beauty promoted during centuries by imperialistic and downright racialist cultural structures (cinema, art, literature, mags) is a crying shame. People can bleach their skin raw, narrow their noses, relax their hair, chop their faces up in pieces and rearrange them all they want, but that won't make them caucasian. I can put myself through session after session of electroshock aversion therapy and it won't make me straight. But the problem is not with us, it's with a system that treats your type of beauty (and my sexual orientation) as somehow 'defective'. Even if you can physically change parts of your appearance to approximate a canon, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO.

-So don't. Stick up for yourself and for those who look like you. Enough is enough.

- Absolutely no such thing as universal beauty. Universal beauty is just a code word for "specific marketing strategy repeated to death". I watch very little TV, so when I found myself in front of one last month watching MTV I was SHOCKED and embarrassed to see that virtually all the women look the same. The very same. The blond hair styled like so, with the mascara, the fashion, you know what I mean? Some may say universal beauty, I call BS on that and name it complete lack of personal sense of style, personality or confidence in their own ability to contribute anything real of themselves to the world.

- There are so-called universally 'hot' male celebrities out there that I personally wouldn't touch with a barge-pole.

- I just bet there are a fair number of people out there who think you are drop-dead gorgeous (real people, people who you know, even if you don't know they feel this way). Alter your face and you will lose them. Are they not good enough?

waveseer · 09-23-2009, 02:07 PM

I am kind of fortunate to have pretty much run the gambit of attractiveness. I am most comfortable in the, "That's a nice looking woman." set rather than the, "Ooh La La!" set because frankly too much attention is quite unnerving.

Luke Skywalker · 09-23-2009, 02:16 PM

I feel this way sometimes. My tract record appears quite clear that it seems that I'm attractive to Black women, because all the relationships I've ever had in life were with Black women, and they are also the type of women I feel more comfortable around perhaps because my mother is also Black. I know my preference is not Black and would be mixed race or Indian exotic looking type of women that I usually see with white guys.

The thing is, I can't put my finger on why I'm not universally attractive, whether it is a combination of factors, or what exactly it is -- but at this point, I just don't care.

brazilgirl21 · 09-23-2009, 04:09 PM

I have "Universal Beauty" and well, check my dating posts, I definetly don't have it easy in the dating department. I might have a light yet tanned skin, blonde straight and long hair, be skinny with exactly the right curves... I'm still not having success with dating.

Seriously, beauty doesn't matter. You get rejected and heartbroken like everyone else, and you don't even have the option to change the way you look because you know that's not the problem.

Life is a jungle for everyone really.

We all have to accept the way things work for us and love us for who we are. I know it's easier said when you don't have these problems, but well, if it makes you feel better, I have that universal beauty and I'm still unhappy in the love department.

CatsMeeoow · 09-23-2009, 04:34 PM

If all it took was to be beautiful to have a successful relationship then Christie Brinkley wouldn't have burned through 3 or 4 husbands... lol

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... and honestly... while my partner is attracted to me physically now that he has fallen head over heals for me I think I could lose a couple of limbs and gain 50pounds and he'd still be attracted to what makes me... well me.

sanadee · 09-23-2009, 11:35 PM

OP, i think these are the keys things in relationships:

- be yourself
- look for people of like interests
- be confident

Even if you think you aren't attractive, then you can overcome this by being confident in yourself.

09-23-2009, 01:24 PM	#1
Longblackhair Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 60	Universal Beauty--does this help in finding a mate? Are there some people who have universal beauty that just appeals to a large range of people--like people of different races are attracted to you instead of just one race? do you have it or wish you did? i wish i did. I have a look that is only considered attractive in one race. outside of it not so much. I am going to get plastic surgery to get a more universal look to increase my chances of finding someone and living a happier life

09-23-2009, 01:29 PM	#2
LightbulbSun Online Gold Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: USA Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 1,053	I have a geeky look that only appeals to certain women. I know if I looked like Brad Pitt, I'd appeal to a lot more women, but that would require plastic surgery, lots of weightlifting, and the loss of glasses. __________________ "Reality is the mirror of your thoughts. Choose well what you put in front of the mirror." - Unknown "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Albus Dumbledore

09-23-2009, 01:34 PM	#3
greywolf Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Good question... Gender: Female Posts: 5,196	Yes, there are types of beauty that appeal to more people than others. I, personally, would prefer to have the type of beauty that appeals only to certain people. OP, I'm sure you are too hard on yourself. You can find someone who loves you for who you are now. __________________ "I'll never understand this until I get my penis." ~hersmudders "Give me life. Give me pain. Give me myself again." ~Tori Amos Pacquiao is gonna beat Cotto's ass!! w00t!

09-23-2009, 02:07 PM	#6
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,065	I am kind of fortunate to have pretty much run the gambit of attractiveness. I am most comfortable in the, "That's a nice looking woman." set rather than the, "Ooh La La!" set because frankly too much attention is quite unnerving. __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

09-23-2009, 02:02 PM	#5
ersatz81 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 206	- Before you go down that route, think seriously about the personal and political (yes, political -this is bigger than yourself) repercussions of what you want to do. Altering yourself surgically in order to come a little closer to a false canon of beauty promoted during centuries by imperialistic and downright racialist cultural structures (cinema, art, literature, mags) is a crying shame. People can bleach their skin raw, narrow their noses, relax their hair, chop their faces up in pieces and rearrange them all they want, but that won't make them caucasian. I can put myself through session after session of electroshock aversion therapy and it won't make me straight. But the problem is not with us, it's with a system that treats your type of beauty (and my sexual orientation) as somehow 'defective'. Even if you can physically change parts of your appearance to approximate a canon, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO. -So don't. Stick up for yourself and for those who look like you. Enough is enough. - Absolutely no such thing as universal beauty. Universal beauty is just a code word for "specific marketing strategy repeated to death". I watch very little TV, so when I found myself in front of one last month watching MTV I was SHOCKED and embarrassed to see that virtually all the women look the same. The very same. The blond hair styled like so, with the mascara, the fashion, you know what I mean? Some may say universal beauty, I call BS on that and name it complete lack of personal sense of style, personality or confidence in their own ability to contribute anything real of themselves to the world. - There are so-called universally 'hot' male celebrities out there that I personally wouldn't touch with a barge-pole. - I just bet there are a fair number of people out there who think you are drop-dead gorgeous (real people, people who you know, even if you don't know they feel this way). Alter your face and you will lose them. Are they not good enough?

09-23-2009, 02:16 PM	#7
Luke Skywalker Offline Gold Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 3,471	I feel this way sometimes. My tract record appears quite clear that it seems that I'm attractive to Black women, because all the relationships I've ever had in life were with Black women, and they are also the type of women I feel more comfortable around perhaps because my mother is also Black. I know my preference is not Black and would be mixed race or Indian exotic looking type of women that I usually see with white guys. The thing is, I can't put my finger on why I'm not universally attractive, whether it is a combination of factors, or what exactly it is -- but at this point, I just don't care.

09-23-2009, 04:09 PM	#8
brazilgirl21 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,616	I have "Universal Beauty" and well, check my dating posts, I definetly don't have it easy in the dating department. I might have a light yet tanned skin, blonde straight and long hair, be skinny with exactly the right curves... I'm still not having success with dating. Seriously, beauty doesn't matter. You get rejected and heartbroken like everyone else, and you don't even have the option to change the way you look because you know that's not the problem. Life is a jungle for everyone really. We all have to accept the way things work for us and love us for who we are. I know it's easier said when you don't have these problems, but well, if it makes you feel better, I have that universal beauty and I'm still unhappy in the love department.

09-23-2009, 04:34 PM	#9
CatsMeeoow Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: In The Middle Of It All Gender: Female Age: 40 Posts: 1,777	If all it took was to be beautiful to have a successful relationship then Christie Brinkley wouldn't have burned through 3 or 4 husbands... lol Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... and honestly... while my partner is attracted to me physically now that he has fallen head over heals for me I think I could lose a couple of limbs and gain 50pounds and he'd still be attracted to what makes me... well me.

09-23-2009, 11:35 PM	#10
sanadee Offline Bronze Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 549	OP, i think these are the keys things in relationships: - be yourself - look for people of like interests - be confident Even if you think you aren't attractive, then you can overcome this by being confident in yourself.