Social Anxiety Disorder, how am I supposed to work?

Snowy2007 · 09-21-2009, 12:46 AM

(I'm sorry if this gets a little boring)

I'm not really sure where to start. So I think I'll start with my high school experience. In school I was always one of the loners. I had a small group of friends. None of whom I had seeked out. They simply attatched themselves to me. I didn't have classes with many of them or lunch hours. So during class I sat quietly and didn't talk. During lunch I hid out in the library or if there was a class in there, I'd hide in a bathroom stall. This went on until my senior year. Then it got to where I was coming in late, or if it was too late I would skip altogether. Then I started getting sick a lot and realized I could play into that and stay out of school more and more. I eventually dropped out just 4 mo's before graduation.

I always thought I was just really shy. Then I met my fiance and moved 2 hours away from my home town to his. At first I thought it would be neat living in a new town. Then I realized that I hadn't been going to town without him. Again I though, I'm just shy and it is a new town.

I have lived here for 2 years now, exactly, and can count the number of times I have gone out alone on one hand.

The first time I had a friend with me, but I went in to a store alone to get smokes. The second time was when I had to take my fiance to the E.R. and they rushed him out of town for his appendix, not letting me in the ambulance. The third time was right after that, he was couch ridden and I had to pick up some stuff. The fourth time I went to town to buy smokes again. That was back in March when I got my own truck.

So it started out, I wouldn't go to town alone, then I would go but my fiance had to come to. Now it has gotten to where I will drive to town with him but I can't bring myself to go inside anywhere. I just sit out in my truck and end up crying because I really want to be able to go in too. I can't even drive by the entrance of the local Wal-Mart without getting nervous. It always feels like people are looking at me and/or talking about me.

I obviously know this is insane and that none of these people even realize I am there. But lately I don't even go to my future mother in-laws house, and I like her. I don't go to my relatives homes unless I'm with my mom or it's a holiday. But i've even started getting nervous around them. I've started telling my fiance that if his family comes over he has to talk to them outside because I get too nervous that they may be judging out house.

I can deal with all of this, not that I like being a hermit, but what really bothers me is that it has affected me finding a job. I have had a few interviews and at each one I was so nervous and shaky. Now I don't even put in application. The thought of being around new people makes me panic.

The main reason I haven't married my fiance is that, I simply can't stand the thought of standing in front of our relatives. So we agreed to do a courthouse wedding which is; just us, his mom, my mom, and the judge. But even that makes panic. I keep thinking god, what if I look really stupid or ugly standing up there?

I just want to know if anyone can tell me what to do. I'm so tired of living like this.

Snowy2007 · 09-21-2009, 12:50 AM

I should also add that I have started going in to deep depressions, I get extremely happy, sad, or angry within a second of each other. I have even started getting paranoid that death is right around the corner and if my fiance and I are separated too long I start expecting a cop to knock on the door telling me he is dead. I can't even ride my horse because I feel like she's going to just buck me off and kill me. (Which is insane because she's extremely gentle)

Jpo · 09-21-2009, 01:07 AM

I also suffer from social anxiety disorder. I strongly suggest you talk to a doctor about it. You may not be thrilled with the idea, but there are medications that can really help with this. If it is impacting your life to this extent, you definitely need some professional help, and I think you will be really happy if you do.

I am currently on two medications for it. Metroprolol - a beta blocker - this actual dulls the receptors in your brain that trigger adrenaline, eliminated a lot of the physical manifestations of social anxiety like shaking, etc. And Zoloft - an anti-depressant commonly for social anxiety disorder - increasing serotonin levels in your brain, eliminating a lot of anxiety issues.

Both drugs are safe and non-addictive. Also, over a time you may not even need them anymore after your body and psyche adjust. There is help for this kind of problem, don't try to deal with it yourself. Talk to your doctor and/or psychologist about it ASAP!

furious · 09-21-2009, 01:39 AM

Interesting, I thought Metroprolol was only for hypertension and general circulatory problems relating to that. I do not have social anxiety disorder but I do have some excess adrenaline and nervousness. I've never been on drugs for it though. I may ask my doctor about metroprolol.

SuzyQ2513 · 09-21-2009, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snowy2007

I should also add that I have started going in to deep depressions, I get extremely happy, sad, or angry within a second of each other. I have even started getting paranoid that death is right around the corner and if my fiance and I are separated too long I start expecting a cop to knock on the door telling me he is dead. I can't even ride my horse because I feel like she's going to just buck me off and kill me. (Which is insane because she's extremely gentle)

I have also felt that death is right around the corner. My freshman year, I was sure I was going to die. So sure, when I made it to the last day of the year, I stayed in all night because I was afraid if I left, I would seal my fate. And then, when I became very depressed I totally stopped planning for a future because I was sure I would not live to 22. Now I can see myself possibly making it through my 20s.

I am pretty sure it must just be a symptom of depression. I think the body has a way of shutting itself down. Like, while depressed I would sleep a TON and hardly eat for periods. Just like an animal who crawls off, lays down and dies. You just feel a sense death is near.

It honestly may be. But, you can't stop living out of fear of dying. Even if you stop all activity, you should still die at any second from sudden heart failure. So, you might as well live with the time you have.

Once you get the depression caused by crippling anxiety treated, I wouldn't be surprised if this feeling passes.

09-21-2009, 12:46 AM	#1
Snowy2007 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Mtn View Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 7	Social Anxiety Disorder, how am I supposed to work? (I'm sorry if this gets a little boring) I'm not really sure where to start. So I think I'll start with my high school experience. In school I was always one of the loners. I had a small group of friends. None of whom I had seeked out. They simply attatched themselves to me. I didn't have classes with many of them or lunch hours. So during class I sat quietly and didn't talk. During lunch I hid out in the library or if there was a class in there, I'd hide in a bathroom stall. This went on until my senior year. Then it got to where I was coming in late, or if it was too late I would skip altogether. Then I started getting sick a lot and realized I could play into that and stay out of school more and more. I eventually dropped out just 4 mo's before graduation. I always thought I was just really shy. Then I met my fiance and moved 2 hours away from my home town to his. At first I thought it would be neat living in a new town. Then I realized that I hadn't been going to town without him. Again I though, I'm just shy and it is a new town. I have lived here for 2 years now, exactly, and can count the number of times I have gone out alone on one hand. The first time I had a friend with me, but I went in to a store alone to get smokes. The second time was when I had to take my fiance to the E.R. and they rushed him out of town for his appendix, not letting me in the ambulance. The third time was right after that, he was couch ridden and I had to pick up some stuff. The fourth time I went to town to buy smokes again. That was back in March when I got my own truck. So it started out, I wouldn't go to town alone, then I would go but my fiance had to come to. Now it has gotten to where I will drive to town with him but I can't bring myself to go inside anywhere. I just sit out in my truck and end up crying because I really want to be able to go in too. I can't even drive by the entrance of the local Wal-Mart without getting nervous. It always feels like people are looking at me and/or talking about me. I obviously know this is insane and that none of these people even realize I am there. But lately I don't even go to my future mother in-laws house, and I like her. I don't go to my relatives homes unless I'm with my mom or it's a holiday. But i've even started getting nervous around them. I've started telling my fiance that if his family comes over he has to talk to them outside because I get too nervous that they may be judging out house. I can deal with all of this, not that I like being a hermit, but what really bothers me is that it has affected me finding a job. I have had a few interviews and at each one I was so nervous and shaky. Now I don't even put in application. The thought of being around new people makes me panic. The main reason I haven't married my fiance is that, I simply can't stand the thought of standing in front of our relatives. So we agreed to do a courthouse wedding which is; just us, his mom, my mom, and the judge. But even that makes panic. I keep thinking god, what if I look really stupid or ugly standing up there? I just want to know if anyone can tell me what to do. I'm so tired of living like this.

09-21-2009, 01:07 AM	#3
Jpo Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: USA Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 697	I also suffer from social anxiety disorder. I strongly suggest you talk to a doctor about it. You may not be thrilled with the idea, but there are medications that can really help with this. If it is impacting your life to this extent, you definitely need some professional help, and I think you will be really happy if you do. I am currently on two medications for it. Metroprolol - a beta blocker - this actual dulls the receptors in your brain that trigger adrenaline, eliminated a lot of the physical manifestations of social anxiety like shaking, etc. And Zoloft - an anti-depressant commonly for social anxiety disorder - increasing serotonin levels in your brain, eliminating a lot of anxiety issues. Both drugs are safe and non-addictive. Also, over a time you may not even need them anymore after your body and psyche adjust. There is help for this kind of problem, don't try to deal with it yourself. Talk to your doctor and/or psychologist about it ASAP! __________________ "The code is mine now and mine alone. So too are the relationships I cultivate. My father might not approve, but I'm no longer his disciple. I'm a master now. An idea transcended into life." - Dexter Morgan

09-21-2009, 12:50 AM	#2
Snowy2007 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Mtn View Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 7	I should also add that I have started going in to deep depressions, I get extremely happy, sad, or angry within a second of each other. I have even started getting paranoid that death is right around the corner and if my fiance and I are separated too long I start expecting a cop to knock on the door telling me he is dead. I can't even ride my horse because I feel like she's going to just buck me off and kill me. (Which is insane because she's extremely gentle)

09-21-2009, 01:39 AM	#4
furious Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 447	Interesting, I thought Metroprolol was only for hypertension and general circulatory problems relating to that. I do not have social anxiety disorder but I do have some excess adrenaline and nervousness. I've never been on drugs for it though. I may ask my doctor about metroprolol.