Treatment of younger sibling.. indicator of how you will be as parent???

yeawutever · 09-17-2009, 11:48 AM

Not that I want kids.. No I don't but I'll put it as a hypothetical situation.. No I haven't been the best big sister to him. Yes I had been easily frustrated by him on several occassions when he was younger (5 years old, now he's 7) to the point I made him cried enough my boyfriend got scared and he was telling me to stop. Then what scared once is him saying ''What if I annoyed you, then you'll probably snap at me too''. I told no, I wouldn't, it was my brother driving me nuts..... Point is I got no patience at all esp. not if it's a hard kid like my brother was in earlier years...

Now if he were to drive me nuts and come to my room doing whatever he feels like, I would just dragged him out of the room fast be like ''OUT'' and lock my room. I have lock my room in the past.....

Needless to say this kinda scares me a bit.. Is the way you handle a younger sibling necessary an indicator of how you would be as a parent....

Butterfly~Wrists · 09-17-2009, 11:51 AM

I think you are more paitent with your own children as you chose to have them when you are ready for them. you can also teach them what is right and wrong, whereas a sibling is less likely to listen to you.

yeawutever · 09-17-2009, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Butterfly~Wrists

I think you are more paitent with your own children as you chose to have them when you are ready for them. you can also teach them what is right and wrong, whereas a sibling is less likely to listen to you.

Yes, I guess so. It makes sense. A child is made when you're ready and you choose how you want to raise them while a sibling just comes unexpected. I still sometimes get frustrated at my brother, though he's now 7, he can be a pain in the behind sometimes...

Nidania · 09-17-2009, 11:56 AM

I was horrible to my sisters. I was the youngest, they picked on me, I picked on them. Heck we used to stick each other with thumbtacks.

I now have two kids of my own, and I have discovered wells of patience I didn't even know existed. My son has a form of autism, and can be especially challenging, but I feel nothing but love for him. My daughter can take on the snottiest little attitude, but I adore her all the same.

I didn't choose to have siblings. I did choose to have children of my own though. And I am blessed, as my kids are so close they're almost inseparable - and this is at ages 12 and 10.

FarthestEdge · 09-17-2009, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yeawutever

Is the way you handle a younger sibling necessary an indicator of how you would be as a parent....

Not necessarily.

As a kid my sister always tried to 'big sister' me about boys & stuff. But then she'd set me up and rat me out. She was very good at making herself the 'victim' of our fights so I would get in trouble and she'd look like the princess. We'd get physical and she'd get out blue & purple eyeshadow to create 'black eyes'..and I got grounded.She had no patience for me (and vice versa, to be fair), or for not getting her way. Some of that still lingers....

However, she is a (mostly)very patient mom who unquestionably puts her kids first. Even the few things she has done as a parent that I personally feel may not have the best choice, she has done with love, believing it's what's best for them. I learned a lot from her before becoming a parent myself.

How she is as a sister, and how she is as a mother are two very distinct things. The relationships are totally different. So I don't think it's an idicator at all.

Although, I am sure others have had different experiences.

pinkelephant · 09-17-2009, 01:18 PM

i believe it is. of course, people DO change. who you are when you're younger isn't who you are when you're older. also, of course when you like someone more, you will have more patience for them.

yeawutever · 09-17-2009, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkelephant

of course when you like someone more, you will have more patience for them.

I don't like my brother sometimes, thus makes me have even less patience for him. Then again, it's not my job teaching a sibling morals or integrity, I leave that to my parents. If anything does wrong and he doesn't follow what's being taught as an adult, not my fault.. I'm not his teacher nor babysitter..

unabashed · 09-17-2009, 01:52 PM

I was terrible to my brother when we were younger, but it had no bearing on how I was as a parent. Except maybe to reinforce with my own kids that you need to treat each other with love and respect. My own parents ignored us when we tortured each other, which, as a parent now, I think was wrong. I would never have allowed my kids to treat each other the way my brother and I did. Now we're in our late 40's and we get along in small doses. We have actually apologized to each other for what we did when we were younger.

I just want to edit to add that, at 22, you aren't his parent, but you are his family and you are a role model. At the age of 20, when he was 5, you were an adult. I think it's kind of bullying to make a five year old cry and to show such disdain and impatience. For his sake, let your parents do their job without your help.

greywolf · 09-17-2009, 02:43 PM

When we are young, we don't really know how to treat people or understand the consequences of treating someone badly. I was terrible to my sister as a kid. One of her front teeth is fake, because I kicked it out.

My sister is my best friend now.

yeawutever · 09-17-2009, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unabashed

I just want to edit to add that, at 22, you aren't his parent, but you are his family and you are a role model. At the age of 20, when he was 5, you were an adult. I think it's kind of bullying to make a five year old cry and to show such disdain and impatience. For his sake, let your parents do their job without your help.

And that's what I do. It's my parents doing the job and the only times I'm left with him it's when they got to go grocery shopping or have an important appointment but otherwise, it's them doing their job with him...
At that time, my father wasn't there and my mother was working while I was the one in charge so ok I had no choice. I did tried talking to him when he was naughtier at the time but to no available. It's not like he would have listened anyways, so ok I went the easy way and just took it out on him (not hard but some shaking). The more he cried, the more angrier it made me. I was like ''Damn, shut the hell up already''.

09-17-2009, 11:48 AM	#1
yeawutever Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Age: 22 Posts: 5,671	Treatment of younger sibling.. indicator of how you will be as parent??? Not that I want kids.. No I don't but I'll put it as a hypothetical situation.. No I haven't been the best big sister to him. Yes I had been easily frustrated by him on several occassions when he was younger (5 years old, now he's 7) to the point I made him cried enough my boyfriend got scared and he was telling me to stop. Then what scared once is him saying ''What if I annoyed you, then you'll probably snap at me too''. I told no, I wouldn't, it was my brother driving me nuts..... Point is I got no patience at all esp. not if it's a hard kid like my brother was in earlier years... Now if he were to drive me nuts and come to my room doing whatever he feels like, I would just dragged him out of the room fast be like ''OUT'' and lock my room. I have lock my room in the past..... Needless to say this kinda scares me a bit.. Is the way you handle a younger sibling necessary an indicator of how you would be as a parent.... __________________ Opened-minded to those in need of help. Not everything is black and white as it seems.... If you're gonna do something, think twice and make sure it's something worthy that you don't later on regret!!!!!!!!!!! Still in a LDR with boyfriend.

09-17-2009, 02:43 PM	#9
greywolf Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Good question... Gender: Female Posts: 5,182	When we are young, we don't really know how to treat people or understand the consequences of treating someone badly. I was terrible to my sister as a kid. One of her front teeth is fake, because I kicked it out. My sister is my best friend now. __________________ "I'll never understand this until I get my penis." ~hersmudders "Give me life. Give me pain. Give me myself again." ~Tori Amos Pacquiao is gonna beat Cotto's ass!! w00t!

09-17-2009, 11:51 AM	#2
Butterfly~Wrists Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 1,652	I think you are more paitent with your own children as you chose to have them when you are ready for them. you can also teach them what is right and wrong, whereas a sibling is less likely to listen to you.

09-17-2009, 11:56 AM	#4
Nidania Online Silver Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Gender: Female Age: 35 Posts: 347	I was horrible to my sisters. I was the youngest, they picked on me, I picked on them. Heck we used to stick each other with thumbtacks. I now have two kids of my own, and I have discovered wells of patience I didn't even know existed. My son has a form of autism, and can be especially challenging, but I feel nothing but love for him. My daughter can take on the snottiest little attitude, but I adore her all the same. I didn't choose to have siblings. I did choose to have children of my own though. And I am blessed, as my kids are so close they're almost inseparable - and this is at ages 12 and 10.

09-17-2009, 01:18 PM	#6
pinkelephant Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Lala land Gender: None Specified Posts: 2,616	i believe it is. of course, people DO change. who you are when you're younger isn't who you are when you're older. also, of course when you like someone more, you will have more patience for them.

09-17-2009, 01:52 PM	#8
unabashed Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: None Specified Posts: 626	I was terrible to my brother when we were younger, but it had no bearing on how I was as a parent. Except maybe to reinforce with my own kids that you need to treat each other with love and respect. My own parents ignored us when we tortured each other, which, as a parent now, I think was wrong. I would never have allowed my kids to treat each other the way my brother and I did. Now we're in our late 40's and we get along in small doses. We have actually apologized to each other for what we did when we were younger. I just want to edit to add that, at 22, you aren't his parent, but you are his family and you are a role model. At the age of 20, when he was 5, you were an adult. I think it's kind of bullying to make a five year old cry and to show such disdain and impatience. For his sake, let your parents do their job without your help.