Angry

[hike14]

We haven't had sex all that much lately. It is because we have things to do, then make dinner and watch TV and time goes buy and we are too tired or its too late or both.

Sometimes we will be watching something and I will offer to go to bed and well.. and he will say sure! but won't really make an effort to get up and we end up sleeping. Later when I mentioned this he said he didn't realize I would have paused the movie and went inside, he didnt realize that is what I meant.

Today he is watching a show (taped) and I say the same thing. He asks: Is your hair dry (meaning am I ready to go to bed) I say yeah more or less. But he doesn't get up so I dry it a little more. Still doesn't get up so I go check my e-mail...still nothing...till there is only a little bit left on his show so he wants to see the end now (and now its half an hour since I suggested and its past the time we go to bed and sleep even) So I say maybe I'll just sleep. He says no no wait up for me. So I wait up. He even says can you wash fruit for me for tomorrow. I do that. I get in bed tired, have to wake up early.. still waiting.

He finally brushes his teeth etc and gets to bed. It might have been me that asked where is the dog (I am not sure) because he usually wants her right by the bed when we are (yes it's him that wants this more than the dog). So now he starts calling for his dog....He calls he calls.. I can hear her but she is sniffing and not coming. He keeps calling. Finally the dog has to jump off the couch she is laying on in the living room and comes to say 'whaaaaat', he pets her she goes back to the couch! And NOW he is ready.

Now perhaps I have a little OCD but in any case I am not crazy about being touched in bed especially in my privates when he just petted his dog with that hand. So he tries to touch me and I tense up. By now it is too late for me, I am tired, frustrated and angry and I don't want to have sex with his doggy hand. This had been an issue before and I had difficulty telling him what my problem was (his hand that he just touched the dog with) when I finally did he said it is no big deal and washed it. But you would think he would remember since I had so much trouble telling him last time. So now I am angry and I would really rather sleep so I tell him maybe we should just sleep. So he puts on the underwear he just took off before getting into bed and we sleep.

But seriously who takes off their underwear to have sex and then calls the dog over and pets it?

I realize I have some communication issues, but more than that I can't get over being angry at him. What do you think?

[D_Lish]

Reminds me of why I wouldnt and dont want a full time relationship....

Thanks

[hike14]

Originally Posted by D_Lish

Reminds me of why I wouldnt and dont want a full time relationship....

Thanks

Grrr Not helping. I DO want one though. Even though I was angry at him, I still slept hugging him and I prefer that much more to sleeping alone.

[mr.mac]

Originally Posted by hike14

What do you think?

I think you're crazy! Just kidding. I actually think you have valid concerns and valid points. Lots of people have germ phobias and whatever and it would make sense for him to wash his hands prior to touching you even if he didn't touch the dog first. Also, it doesn't really make sense why he makes you wait and why he needs to make a production out of getting ready to have sex. Just go have sex with your woman! That's what I would say to him. Relationships require care and it clearly frustrates you that he has this air of complacency when it comes to making you happy. Hopefully he'll get that and stop making you spell it out all the time.

[D_Lish]

Originally Posted by hike14

Grrr Not helping. I DO want one though. Even though I was angry at him, I still slept hugging him and I prefer that much more to sleeping alone.

I've already had one sweetie....a ten year one.
Your post just reminded me, of how bored Id been during it....how it became all routine and BORRRRING....and how I dont want that life again.

Oh and I LOVE sleeping alone

[hike14]

Originally Posted by mr.mac

I think you're crazy! Just kidding. I actually think you have valid concerns and valid points. Lots of people have germ phobias and whatever and it would make sense for him to wash his hands prior to touching you even if he didn't touch the dog first. Also, it doesn't really make sense why he makes you wait and why he needs to make a production out of getting ready to have sex. Just go have sex with your woman! That's what I would say to him. Relationships require care and it clearly frustrates you that he has this air of complacency when it comes to making you happy. Hopefully he'll get that and stop making you spell it out all the time.

I am sure he would say that he wasn't sure if I was ready (hair dry?) because I still blow dried it, and I checked my e-mail etc. But really I had the bed all ready and I was blow drying the last bits (it would have been fine if I didn't dry them) till he got up - he didn't. I am sure that is what he will say. Maybe he even believes it, maybe it is true.. I don't know. But if you ask him he will say if he knew what I meant he would have paused and came in... That is what he said last time.

And it's not even just the doggy hand. Why after he is finally in bed, took off his underwear does he have to call for his dog? * * * ??

[mr.mac]

Originally Posted by hike14

I am sure he would say that he wasn't sure if I was ready (hair dry?) because I still blow dried it, and I checked my e-mail etc. But really I had the bed all ready and I was blow drying the last bits (it would have been fine if I didn't dry them) till he got up - he didn't. I am sure that is what he will say. Maybe he even believes it, maybe it is true.. I don't know. But if you ask him he will say if he knew what I meant he would have paused and came in... That is what he said last time.

And it's not even just the doggy hand. Why after he is finally in bed, took off his underwear does he have to call for his dog? * * * ??

For the first part I would say be very direct - "I'm ready now, please!"

As for the 2nd part...that gets creepier the more I read it. I don't know. Did you ask him about it?

[anggrace]

You say you want sex with him, but you also sound way too angry to be in the mood. Have you been clear with him about your wanting more sex in general, in a calm freindly way? Or is it just hinting here and there? He might be oblivious to how much this is eating you up, and thats not fair to him. In addition to having a calm "nice" talk to him about it, I also think you should not wait till you're both in bed to be intimate. Why not make a move before dinner or while he's watching tv... and I don't mean asking him to go to bed. Best of luck.

[hike14]

Originally Posted by mr.mac

For the first part I would say be very direct - "I'm ready now, please!"

As for the 2nd part...that gets creepier the more I read it. I don't know. Did you ask him about it?

LOL. Well I already kind of know the reasons... I guess he worries about her. She is an old dog, and my god spoiled! And maybe he can't hear the sounds she makes as good as me? I don't know. He wan't to make sure she knows where he is. (And he realized later on she was just relaxing on her couch. Yes she has a couch and a bed in the living room! We only have a couch LOL.

Anyway he called her over, then felt silly when he realized she was on the couch, and he pet her and she went right back to her couch. But he was calling and calling and whistling and she didn't want to come, and I even whistled with him so it would be over AGGHHHH!

I already have other issues we are working on with the dog so right now I don't want to add one more.

[hike14]

Originally Posted by anggrace

You say you want sex with him, but you also sound way too angry to be in the mood. Have you been clear with him about your wanting more sex in general, in a calm freindly way? Or is it just hinting here and there? He might be oblivious to how much this is eating you up, and thats not fair to him. In addition to having a calm "nice" talk to him about it, I also think you should not wait till you're both in bed to be intimate. Why not make a move before dinner or while he's watching tv... and I don't mean asking him to go to bed. Best of luck.

Yeah I guess that I lost my creativity somewhere along the way. The answer to why not make a move outside the bed: It is the dog hair again!! I just don't feel very comfortable getting naked and sexual with dog hair everywhere. She is allowed everywhere on the couch etc and sheds like crazy. I don't know why the hell he doesn't giver her regular baths either (not that that would make me MUCH more comfortable - it wouldn't). So yes I would rather be in bed where its relatively less hairy and at least there is no doggie paws or drooling. (Although I did catch her wiping her face on the bed once, yikes! Do all dogs do this?!)

So that is why.....