I can hardly read your story, shoreline. It even scares me to hear it, and I think I've heard the worst. I can't imagine if I had known my sons had been treated that way in their school. You are certainly not the only child that was treated this way. I have heard of much worse. Here is an example of a recent story in the news. Just happened to think of it a few minutes ago.
Yes Ive seen this.
I have also recently read some of these stories. The White House Boys is a perfect example of how sadistic some people are. They clearly enjoy whipping these young men...and boys until bloody. They must have enjoyed it, they must have gotten their jollies off on watching the buttocks of little boys welt and bleed and them scream and beg for mercy, forgiveness.
Did my teacher also suffer from this sadistic tendency as well? Did it excite her? She must have enjoyed it because in my opinion used every available opportunity to take a little boy across her lap and slap their bottoms.
My friend and I both. That leads me to my original question...why only me and my friend? Did she sense that she could get away with it? Were we the type of children that predators prey on? Were we insure and vulnerable?
Most people, in my opinion, dont have the stomach to relentlessly beat a child as it screams and cries for mercy. How does one do that? How does a teacher think that what she is doing is going to benefit the child? How is humiliating them and beating them nude and public going to make them grow up to be well adjusted contributing members of society?
Did she think what she was doing was right? Did they teach her that a Teachers College?
Why didnt she then take all or most of the boys up front and spank them too? Why not the girls? Perhaps she was a boy hater, man hater. Perhaps she lived in the community and knew many of the parent and maybe she was friends with them. It would be then that she wouldn't take a friend's child over her lap in class. Maybe if she did it to the wrong persons kid she would get her head knocked off.
I think she knew what she was doing. I dont think it was random at all. I think she has done this to many boys before and after me. I think she may have done it to other boys in private the same time she was doing it to me. How would anyone know? I really dont think any little boy who was just spanked pants down in a total private room is going to go telling their friends or parents. They wouldn't risk further humiliation. I know I wouldn't have told a soul EVER if it had been done to me in secret. I never would have told my parents. And looking back now, with the power and authority she had over me, she could have done it to me every day and I would never have squealed. Kids back then didnt tell...remember? She could have done to me like those boys at White House had done to them. I wouldn't say anything. I would have been too scared of getting another spanking for it.
Last edited by shoreline; 09-15-2009 at 12:54 PM.
My introduction to the strap(1)
I have read that children who are/were spanked can become aggressive. These children hit others and they display anti social behavior.
I have read that some children who witness certain language and acts of aggression on t.v. can have a tendency to act them out in real life. Both of these things hold true to me.
I clearly remember as a child hopping around pretending to be spider man and slinging my webs and repeating catch phrases from tv like ..."Dynamite!"
The effects of being spanked infront of all of my community were devastating. I was withdrawn and didnt trust anyone. I began judging people and asking why is it they can do what they please and get away with it, but when I do It, I get punished. I still carry these traits today. A deep sense of injustice and right and wrong.
This leads me to my experience with the strap. It was a day like any other. I was on the playground playing like children do. I was being aggressive though.
I was pretending to be "Steve Austin"...."The Six Million Dollar Man." I watched this show at home and loved it in 73. I cant tell you if I was aggressive because of being hit or because its a normal part of play and imagination to escape into make believe and pretend to be someone else.
I had grabbed this boy by the arm and like I saw on tv, I flipped him over my shoulder where he landed in the gravel rocks and got up quickly as if to fight but did not. To this day I cannot remember who this guy is.
All of a sudden this woman teacher....the same teacher who has been spanking me, came out in a rage it seemed. She stormed right over to where I was standing,frozed like a deer in the headlights, and took me by the hand and led me into the school. My legs were weak and I felt sick. My body was going numb. I remember the fear. I knew what was coming and it terrified me. I also knew that there was no stopping it.
A little girl came running to catch up and when she did she asked the teacher if she was going to give me a spanking. I cant remember the woman's response, I just remember the grip her big hand had on mine. We entered the school from the back entrance and headed down the hall. I didnt know where we were headed or what was going on because she did not speak.
She took a left turn and pulled me into the teachers lounge and with all these children wondering about out in the hall they became quite curious. I remember the door closing as they gathered just outside the room straining to see. I imagine that the word of my impending punishment spread like wildfire, especially after I had a history of being taken over her knee. By this time the whole school likely knew I was being spanked in class and they perhaps figured that this is what was about to take place now. They wouldn't want to miss it.
You have to remember this is a small community. Every one knows everyone and their dogs. These are nieghbors and friends and relatives. Very close knit.
Last edited by shoreline; 09-20-2009 at 09:48 AM.
My introduction to the strap on my bottom(2)
I remember standing in the teachers lounge. This was an "off limits" kind of place, like you parents bedroom. There was another person in here. A teacher? It was a man and he witnessed the whole thing.
I had such a sense of dread and fear. I was so small and so scared. I was so alone and there was no one going to save me. The door closed heavy and loud noises today make me jump.
There was a light brown couch, smooth like leather maybe. I was stood here and in front of the couch was a low coffee table. I saw her walk over and take something out of a drawer. It was the strap. I dont think it was a belt. Things really began to unravel for me here. I'm practically peeing down my leg.
She sat on the couch and I was standing as I always am, to her side and staring at her lap. I remember thinking is this man going to leave, why is he here. I dont recall much conversation. She had the strap with her but I dont know where she put it in order to strip me of my clothing.
She proceeded to put her fingers inside the front of my pants like usual. I had to submit, I always had to submit. She unbuttoned my pants and opened my zipper and took my pants and underwear to the floor in one quick motion while I'm in the standing position. I remember to window open and I could hear children playing freely and happily outside in the playground.
I remember the cool breeze coming in through that window and against my nude body. I dont recall if she removed my shirt completely or just lifted it high up under my arms. I do remember standing there with so much shame and staring down at my privates. I was now naked from my chest to my socks.
I was pulled across her lap as usual. I remember thinking it wasn't really happening, it wasn't really going to happen the way it SEEMS like its going to happen. This is the same thing I thought when she pulled my pants down in class. I was in denial because this stuff doesn't really happen. Right?
I believe I was having a mental breakdown or leaving my body.
The breeze through the window now flowed and caressed my completely bared back and legs. I knew I was nude and I knew a man was standing and watching. I remember some sort of talking or conversation or rebuke perhaps.
I remember trying to find something to brace against for support. I remember staring at the floor, again almost upside down. I see the couch and there is nothing to grab on to there. The table is too far away. I remember laying still in wait! The breeze against my nudity and then the weapon, the strap is resting against my bare skin. My bare buttocks. And we wait and wait.
Once the strap was used it was relentless. It was painful beyond description. It was then that I squirmed and twisted and tried to find something to hold, to grab, to push against.
I put my right hand on her left ankle. I remember it felt like I wasn't allowed to touch a teacher. I remember it was an uncovered ankle and I felt extremely uncomfortable grasping and clutching her "body part." The thought was that if I did I would get into trouble.
A student NEVER touched or laid a hand on an adult or teacher back then. A kid NEVER talked back to a teacher back in those days. I was unable to arch my back in resistance. I had nothing in which to hold. I was not able to "clench" by bottom against the beating it was receiving. I wasn't able to resist in anyway and I was taken by her. She took my soul that day. In a way I feel as though I was raped by her.
The whipping continued and I hear no sound. Everything is slow motion and things get fuzzy and disappear. I am succumbed by white light and the pain disappears and its completely silent now. Like the time I drowned as a kid.
I do not remember her dressing me, standing me up. I dont remember the door opening or the conversation she must have had with the man. Its all locked away just waiting for the therapist to find.
My next memory, after everything went white, is being in the hallway alone and crying. I dont know what to do with myself or what I am allowed to do. This has led me today to the point where I cant make decisions. I am unable to make up my mind. I am afraid of the consequences if I'm wrong. Ive carried that my whole life.
I was unable to see the error in my actions and got spanked. I was unable to figure out how to avoid her punishment so I just dropped out. I became a loner that trusted no one. I stopped doing anything. I stopped contributing in group events and in this way avoided her beatings. I disappear. I became invisible. I no longer drew attention to myself.
Standing in the hallway after that beating I was a changed little boy. My bottom was hotter than an oven and stung to the point that there was no comfortable position to alleviate the pain. I took the bus ride home with my bum up off of the seat.
I have to wonder, did my mother not notice the marks or bruises on my bottom at bath time. Did the teacher call again and tell my mother what had happened? I recall no such phone call this time. My mother did not interview me for details this time. Its all secret. I tell old classmates today and they cant believe it! They remember when I got spanked with my pants down in class but not many know of the abuse in the teachers lounge.
I have never told my now 72 year old mother
Last edited by shoreline; 09-20-2009 at 11:06 AM.
Hi everyone. I'm sure there are many of you who are reading of my wonderful educational experiences. I would like to hear from you if you or someone you know has experienced similar such a things in your or their lives.
I know its painful and not something you all wish to share but the feedback would be appreciated.Thanks.
Not think it's the time you should talk to your mother about the whole thing that took place back then. If she for some reason denies it or changes the topic, doesn't bother to listen, at least you try your best. From then on talk to a counselor about it. They deal with child abuse case and help people out.
Opened-minded to those in need of help. Not everything is black and white as it seems....
If you're gonna do something, think twice and make sure it's something worthy that you don't later on regret!!!!!!!!!!!
I appreciate your views on this. I really dont know if I can open up to a professional, remember, it was a professional that did this to me. It would have to be someone my age. I really cant see telling a young person whom themselves cant even imagine such a thing let alone ever having experienced it themselves.
Perhaps a fellow survivor. I guess that's the reason I'm on here. I'm looking for anyone who went through this as a way of support. To share like experiences and perhaps get enlightenment into how they moved forward etc.
Sadly, I have no one on here yet that has admitted to this happening to them. But then that's a good thing right?
I have not been through what you've been so I don't really have any stories for you. But I'm so sorry for what you've been put through. I really do think you should talk to your mother though. She knows more to the story, and if you really do have a good relationship with her you should get it out of her. You can start off saying that it's really important to you to find out what exactly was going on and for her to please not brush this off so you can get some closure, as it's been haunting you for years. If you guys are close, surely she won't ignore that. Getting her thoughts might help.
Also, you really should be getting help for this. This is a horrible thing to bottle up inside. It's great that you're here on these forums and talking about it, but none of us are professionals and people can only help so much through anonymous forums. You need to be discussing this and learning to cope with what's been done so that you can hopefully put it behind you. I'm sure you weren't a bad kid at all. She sounds like she was a perverse, unhappy woman who unfortunately chose you to inflict her abuse onto.
You can't go back and change a thing, but you can choose not to let this ruin you. Please talk to your mom and seek help for yourself.
After all these years I dont think I'm going to further humiliate myself by having "the talk" with my 72 year old mom. Even the slightest mention of how bad I had it as a kid causes her to roll her eyes ...with this look on her face. She doesn't get it and never will, Ive stopped trying with her.
Who I would really really like to get my claws into is that woman who abused me. If she is still alive Id like to confront her, perhaps a little humility her way would feel good. Class action sounds good but unlikely. I wish I knew where she is. I want to hear what she has to say for herself!
|Caring professional ready to help you in your abusive relationship, whether you are the victim or an abuser asking for help. Call now!|
|Is your relationship taking a toll on you? Do you feel trapped in bad patterns that you'd like to step out of? Learn the tools to create positive changes in your relationships|
|I have an MA in Professional counseling and 25+ years experience helping individuals and families overcome abusive relationships."generously affordable"|
|Are you feeling trapped? Stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns that go on and on? Hurt, angry, physically or verbally abused? I can help you.|
|Love and abuse cannot coexist, even when you may try to fool yourself about it. They just cannot go together. Whether you were an abuser or a victim, facing reality and dealin|