Fears of being single for life

Jetta · 09-07-2009, 07:14 PM

I'm going to admit that I honestly fear being single for the rest of my life. I'm 35, have at least 30 years to go and don't want to spend them alone. I'm clutching a past that's gone, and no prospects for the future.

Since I lost my mind, although I've regained it again, I've lost myself. I now take medication to be the person I was without it. I know my friends have a hard time getting past that person I became. I just don't think anyone can see past my imperfections to love me again.

I even had a psychic reading done and got the card of death when it came to finding love again. The psychic said I have a lot of challenges to overcome to finding love again, the card of death!? That pretty much sums up my worst fear.

I return to classes tomorrow to pursue my degree, each class is a challenge. I'm struggling to survive, hoping to achieve something in life but fearing the clock has ticked away for me.

Honestly I don't want to be alone, that's no life to live. I'm working on bettering myself as much as possible, but even that may not be enough.

Lonewing · 09-07-2009, 07:17 PM

So your love life is dead right now. Just because you're in Winter now doesn't mean the world won't re-emerge in Springtime...

Now winter is the time when one prepares for the labors of spring, the chores of summer and the harvets of fall...

I wish you tons of luck!!

fatcat1999 · 09-07-2009, 07:23 PM

I think everyone has similiar fear like yours including me.
After being single for long, I've learned to find love and marriage, you need not only luck, but also wisdom- to know how to use your time and energy efficiently, how to find him and let him pursue you; but at the same time, there're other things in life that are as important as finding your Soul mate. Try to be happy at every stage of your life! and good luck for your study.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetta

I'm going to admit that I honestly fear being single for the rest of my life. I'm 35, have at least 30 years to go and don't want to spend them alone. I'm clutching a past that's gone, and no prospects for the future.

Since I lost my mind, although I've regained it again, I've lost myself. I now take medication to be the person I was without it. I know my friends have a hard time getting past that person I became. I just don't think anyone can see past my imperfections to love me again.

I even had a psychic reading done and got the card of death when it came to finding love again. The psychic said I have a lot of challenges to overcome to finding love again, the card of death!? That pretty much sums up my worst fear.

I return to classes tomorrow to pursue my degree, each class is a challenge. I'm struggling to survive, hoping to achieve something in life but fearing the clock has ticked away for me.

Honestly I don't want to be alone, that's no life to live. I'm working on bettering myself as much as possible, but even that may not be enough.

Jetta · 09-07-2009, 07:27 PM

Thanks you've both calmed my nerves a little. Right now I don't really have time for another, but at the same time I long for another. It's a catch 22, sucky situation.

Lonewing · 09-07-2009, 07:33 PM

I wish I was in a LTR right now too, but I leave fo the Air Force in exactly 2 weeks and startign a relationship now would be ridiculous. Further, I'm coming off a hard break, so starting right now would be doubly folly, even if I wasn't going to the AF!

waveseer · 09-07-2009, 07:33 PM

Fill your life with things you enjoy doing and you will be happy whether you are alone or not.

Misskitty16 · 09-07-2009, 07:38 PM

Jetta, I understand. Friends, work and hobbies just can't seem to fill that place in my heart where I wish there was a partner. But who knows what the future holds for each of us?

Jetta · 09-07-2009, 07:42 PM

MissKitty you hit the nail on the head. There's comfort in sharing life with another. At least when it's the right partner.

jul-els · 09-07-2009, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waveseer

Fill your life with things you enjoy doing and you will be happy whether you are alone or not.

I agree with this. I believe you need to be happy on your own before you can be happy with someone else. Seeking a relationship to fill a void is like asking someone to share in your unhappiness. It's unfair to you and your potential mate. Like another poster said with their analogy of the seasons, use your time alone to get to a place where you are satisfied. That way if you do meet someone good, you'll be ready. And if you don't, it won't matter.

jbrooklyn · 09-07-2009, 08:31 PM

this may sound really stupid but it is very important to learn how to be happy as a single person.

I absolutely hated when people would say that cause I love being in a relationship but I think I lost myself cause I really dont know how to love me. Loving yourself is so important. It leads to TRUE HAPPINESS!!
Check out this site

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

Please check it out. It will help you thru this rut!!!

09-07-2009, 07:14 PM	#1
Jetta Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minnesota Gender: Female Age: 35 Posts: 2,354	Fears of being single for life I'm going to admit that I honestly fear being single for the rest of my life. I'm 35, have at least 30 years to go and don't want to spend them alone. I'm clutching a past that's gone, and no prospects for the future. Since I lost my mind, although I've regained it again, I've lost myself. I now take medication to be the person I was without it. I know my friends have a hard time getting past that person I became. I just don't think anyone can see past my imperfections to love me again. I even had a psychic reading done and got the card of death when it came to finding love again. The psychic said I have a lot of challenges to overcome to finding love again, the card of death!? That pretty much sums up my worst fear. I return to classes tomorrow to pursue my degree, each class is a challenge. I'm struggling to survive, hoping to achieve something in life but fearing the clock has ticked away for me. Honestly I don't want to be alone, that's no life to live. I'm working on bettering myself as much as possible, but even that may not be enough. __________________ "Reality is what won't go away when you stop believing in it." -Phillip K* "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." -Carl Jung

09-07-2009, 07:27 PM	#4
Jetta Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minnesota Gender: Female Age: 35 Posts: 2,354	Thanks you've both calmed my nerves a little. Right now I don't really have time for another, but at the same time I long for another. It's a catch 22, sucky situation. __________________ "Reality is what won't go away when you stop believing in it." -Phillip K* "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." -Carl Jung

09-07-2009, 07:33 PM	#6
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,065	Fill your life with things you enjoy doing and you will be happy whether you are alone or not. __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

09-07-2009, 07:42 PM	#8
Jetta Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minnesota Gender: Female Age: 35 Posts: 2,354	MissKitty you hit the nail on the head. There's comfort in sharing life with another. At least when it's the right partner. __________________ "Reality is what won't go away when you stop believing in it." -Phillip K* "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." -Carl Jung

09-07-2009, 07:17 PM	#2
Lonewing Offline Gold Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: SW Gender: Male Posts: 869	So your love life is dead right now. Just because you're in Winter now doesn't mean the world won't re-emerge in Springtime... Now winter is the time when one prepares for the labors of spring, the chores of summer and the harvets of fall... I wish you tons of luck!!

09-07-2009, 07:38 PM	#7
Misskitty16 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Whisker City Gender: Female Posts: 939	Jetta, I understand. Friends, work and hobbies just can't seem to fill that place in my heart where I wish there was a partner. But who knows what the future holds for each of us?

09-07-2009, 08:31 PM	#10
jbrooklyn Online Bronze Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 126	this may sound really stupid but it is very important to learn how to be happy as a single person. I absolutely hated when people would say that cause I love being in a relationship but I think I lost myself cause I really dont know how to love me. Loving yourself is so important. It leads to TRUE HAPPINESS!! Check out this site [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] Please check it out. It will help you thru this rut!!!