Ladies does being around pretty women affect your self esteem?

Longblackhair · 08-29-2009, 03:38 PM

I was immediately depressed when I saw that there were two girls in my class who were very pretty. One is very young, around 18/19, the other one looks closer to my age but probably a year or so younger. I felt very initimidated, and unattractive, and would give them jealous looks when they were not looking. I recently spent a lot of money on clothes and fashion accessories because of the pressure I feel to look pretty..but I'm low on money and may have to return some of the overpriced clothing I bought.

My Professor noticed one of them, and flirts with her which just infuriated me. He is the type that grades based on looks. I had spoken to him during class break and I don't think he feels I am that pretty, he doesn't flirt with me or really have that look when someone thinks your pretty. I know I will have to work harder for my grade than the other two girls (I hear if he thinks youre hot he'll give you a passing grade with little effort)

The entire time I was in there I couldn't relax and contemplated whether or not I should drop the class. I really don't want to be in there. I really don't want to see guys looking at them and hitting on them and not me. I feel like I am the lesser pretty girl. And it's to the point that I don't even want to go to school anymore. I feel like guys aren't noticing me as much as they are the younger girls. I really dread going to school this semester and even feel like dropping out. I don't even see the point anymore because I feel that if I am not beautiful to others I have no value no matter how many degrees/skills/talent I have.

Cognitive_Canine · 08-29-2009, 03:42 PM

There will always be someone prettier, someone smarter, someone thinner, someone more interesting.

You really can't focus on other people though. Life isn't a competition.

spinstermanquee · 08-29-2009, 03:44 PM

Look longblackhair, there will always be professors, bosses, car mechanics, dry cleaners, and people in your social life who "grade" or "judge" by looks alone. (Is she hot?)

These are NOT the people who will count in your life.

The people who will count will "grade" or "judge" you by your goodness, honesty, integrity, commitment, followthrough, reliability, etc. That's the grade you NEED and WANT.

Kick the rest to the curb. I know it hurts. I'm older and not as hot as I used to be. But even when I was hot there was always someone hotter than me. You can let it steam you and rob your energy, or you can use that same energy to seek out people who have better values.

Good luck my dear... and God bless

Longblackhair · 08-29-2009, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thistime

YES. but that is when I take a step back, and begin to scrutinize...and realize there are things about them that are not so attractive. Sure, it's picking apart another person, but at the risk of feeling low...I dont have an issue with that. Especially if I dont know the person well...or at all.
I think it is just a female thing.
Besides, I usually discover quickly, that there is a personality flaw.
Men can only look at an attractive woman so long....and then the woman eventually opens her mouth to speak...and they realize she is not "all that"

I really don't see that happening at all. I had a guy who thought I was very pretty, and still pursued me even though he said I never showed him much personality. I think pretty girls get away with a lot even if their personalilty isn't much to par. Men are nicer to them, and even get better grades based on their looks.

I just feel insecure when I am around another girl I feel is prettier than me, especially being in college where I have to sit side by side in class with them. I feel like dropping the class especially if I see a guy I like, flirting with them

Cognitive_Canine · 08-29-2009, 03:48 PM

You can't run away from people you think are better than you (which is completely debateable btw) just because you don't like "competition".

And, do you really want to be in a relationship or earn your grades through just your looks? Isn't that sort of an empty existence?

Those girls will grow old one day and their looks will fade. Then what will they have if their life is based on free things due to looks?

Longblackhair · 08-29-2009, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spinstermanquee

Look longblackhair, there will always be professors, bosses, car mechanics, dry cleaners, and people in your social life who "grade" or "judge" by looks alone. (Is she hot?)

These are NOT the people who will count in your life.

The people who will count will "grade" or "judge" you by your goodness, honesty, integrity, commitment, followthrough, reliability, etc. That's the grade you NEED and WANT.

Kick the rest to the curb. I know it hurts. I'm older and not as hot as I used to be. But even when I was hot there was always someone hotter than me. You can let it steam you and rob your energy, or you can use that same energy to seek out people who have better values.

Good luck my dear... and God bless

How do you deal with it ? I don't know how. The entire time I just get depressed, and don't want to be in class. Sometimes, I leave early because I can't take it. It's even worse if I notice guys looking at them and flirting when they don't do this to me

principesse · 08-29-2009, 03:49 PM

So what? Did you expect to pass the class just because you are pretty? Something important that I've learned is that it is impossible to be the prettiest girl everywhere you go. Here's another: Being gorgeous doesn't necessarily mean you have the most successful love life. Of course, the more beautiful you are, the more attention you will receive and the more heads you will turn. People enjoy beautiful people. However, this is only initially. If there is nothing behind the looks, the interest will soon fade.

Stop comparing yourself to other girls and being bitter (yes, it sounded to me like you are from the way you expressed yourself). It's not a competition and attraction isn't simply proportional to the level of beauty. Just relax and enjoy yourself. I'm sure you are attractive yourself but being desperate is not exactly the most attractive quality.

Edi · 08-29-2009, 03:53 PM

looks is not that important... i know hot girls that are so stupid... i wouldn't want to be with them just because they look good

different people different tastes

i don't know why but lately when i go out on the streets or in the mall or whatever everyone seems pretty to me

I'm getting crazy

Longblackhair · 08-29-2009, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by principesse

So what? Did you expect to pass the class just because you are pretty? Something important that I've learned is that it is impossible to be the prettiest girl everywhere you go. Here's another: Being gorgeous doesn't necessarily mean you have the most successful love life. Of course, the more beautiful you are, the more attention you will receive and the more heads you will turn. People enjoy beautiful people. However, this is only initially. If there is nothing behind the looks, the interest will soon fade.

Stop comparing yourself to other girls and being bitter (yes, it sounded to me like you are from the way you expressed yourself). It's not a competition and attraction isn't simply proportional to the level of beauty. Just relax and enjoy yourself. I'm sure you are attractive yourself but being desperate is not exactly the most attractive quality.

I can't stop this feeling I have inside, it's to the point that I want to drop out of one of my classes. Sometimes I don't even want to go to school because I feel like I'm not getting noticed or approached by guys as much as the other girls. I feel like I have no value if men don't think I'm beautiful

Cognitive_Canine · 08-29-2009, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Longblackhair

I can't stop this feeling I have inside, it's to the point that I want to drop out of one of my classes. Sometimes I don't even want to go to school because I feel like I'm not getting noticed or approached by guys as much as the other girls. I feel like I have no value if men don't think I'm beautiful

Have you gone to counselling for this?

08-29-2009, 03:38 PM	#1
Longblackhair Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 61	Ladies does being around pretty women affect your self esteem? I was immediately depressed when I saw that there were two girls in my class who were very pretty. One is very young, around 18/19, the other one looks closer to my age but probably a year or so younger. I felt very initimidated, and unattractive, and would give them jealous looks when they were not looking. I recently spent a lot of money on clothes and fashion accessories because of the pressure I feel to look pretty..but I'm low on money and may have to return some of the overpriced clothing I bought. My Professor noticed one of them, and flirts with her which just infuriated me. He is the type that grades based on looks. I had spoken to him during class break and I don't think he feels I am that pretty, he doesn't flirt with me or really have that look when someone thinks your pretty. I know I will have to work harder for my grade than the other two girls (I hear if he thinks youre hot he'll give you a passing grade with little effort) The entire time I was in there I couldn't relax and contemplated whether or not I should drop the class. I really don't want to be in there. I really don't want to see guys looking at them and hitting on them and not me. I feel like I am the lesser pretty girl. And it's to the point that I don't even want to go to school anymore. I feel like guys aren't noticing me as much as they are the younger girls. I really dread going to school this semester and even feel like dropping out. I don't even see the point anymore because I feel that if I am not beautiful to others I have no value no matter how many degrees/skills/talent I have.

08-29-2009, 03:53 PM	#8
Edi Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Romania, Cluj-Napoca Gender: Male Age: 16 Posts: 30	looks is not that important... i know hot girls that are so stupid... i wouldn't want to be with them just because they look good different people different tastes i don't know why but lately when i go out on the streets or in the mall or whatever everyone seems pretty to me I'm getting crazy __________________ 'When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.' 'Being sad with the right people is better than being happy with the wrong ones.' 'Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.'

08-29-2009, 03:42 PM	#2
Cognitive_Canine Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Gender: Female Posts: 11,326	There will always be someone prettier, someone smarter, someone thinner, someone more interesting. You really can't focus on other people though. Life isn't a competition.

08-29-2009, 03:44 PM	#3
spinstermanquee Online Gold Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 591	Look longblackhair, there will always be professors, bosses, car mechanics, dry cleaners, and people in your social life who "grade" or "judge" by looks alone. (Is she hot?) These are NOT the people who will count in your life. The people who will count will "grade" or "judge" you by your goodness, honesty, integrity, commitment, followthrough, reliability, etc. That's the grade you NEED and WANT. Kick the rest to the curb. I know it hurts. I'm older and not as hot as I used to be. But even when I was hot there was always someone hotter than me. You can let it steam you and rob your energy, or you can use that same energy to seek out people who have better values. Good luck my dear... and God bless

08-29-2009, 03:48 PM	#5
Cognitive_Canine Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Gender: Female Posts: 11,326	You can't run away from people you think are better than you (which is completely debateable btw) just because you don't like "competition". And, do you really want to be in a relationship or earn your grades through just your looks? Isn't that sort of an empty existence? Those girls will grow old one day and their looks will fade. Then what will they have if their life is based on free things due to looks?

08-29-2009, 03:49 PM	#7
principesse Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 5	So what? Did you expect to pass the class just because you are pretty? Something important that I've learned is that it is impossible to be the prettiest girl everywhere you go. Here's another: Being gorgeous doesn't necessarily mean you have the most successful love life. Of course, the more beautiful you are, the more attention you will receive and the more heads you will turn. People enjoy beautiful people. However, this is only initially. If there is nothing behind the looks, the interest will soon fade. Stop comparing yourself to other girls and being bitter (yes, it sounded to me like you are from the way you expressed yourself). It's not a competition and attraction isn't simply proportional to the level of beauty. Just relax and enjoy yourself. I'm sure you are attractive yourself but being desperate is not exactly the most attractive quality.