Living with social anxiety disorder

HyruleGuardian · 08-28-2009, 05:20 PM

I've been dealing with this disorder my whole life. Every time I try to step outside my comfort zone and put myself out there, something inside of me pulls me back into my shell. I lose all my confidence on the spot and clam up. It happens almost every time I go into social situations. Over time, things have gotten slightly better. I am much more social than I used to be. I have a girlfriend of a year. She often gets frustrated with me, but is also understanding because it is the way I am. However, I can tell it is causing a strain on the relationship because whenever I go out I tend to be quiet and clam up. She wants me to put myself out there more and I say I will every time but I never do.

It has really taken its toll on me. I get nervous weeks in advance if a party is scheduled. Any time we go out somewhere I can't wait for it to be over with. I juts can't enjoy life like this. I don't know what to do anymore.

Does anybody else have this disorder? Any advice?

Dancergirl425 · 08-28-2009, 06:11 PM

Keep ur chin up literally
repeat in ur head "I don't care what everyone else thinks"
smile (if u smile u'll feel happier eventually)
deep breaths

this helps me sometimes.

Ftheworld · 08-28-2009, 06:33 PM

I have the same problem as you. I try and put myself out there and try to participate in conversations but I just get too nervous and sick in my stomach. You probably know what I mean. I start having negative thoughts and my face gets very stiff and I almost feel like I want to cry. I've decided to seek some help and will be seeing a psychiatrist again next week. I was on Lexapro 2 years ago and it really helped. I was able to talk to people and felt much more comfortable and relaxed. I foolishly stopped the medication because I wanted to solve this problem by myself without any help. Big mistake. I've finally admitted that I have a problem that I cannot solve by myself.

Northern Lad · 09-12-2009, 07:46 AM

Dont know if this is exactly the solution for your problem, but ive had anxiety attacks for the last 12 years or so. it was at its worst 10 years or so ago, since then every so often, and no more often due to some recent problems in my life.

anyway i got this home course thing called the charles linden method, it teaches techniques on how to cope with the anxiety attacks especially in social situations, tells you why your body is doing this, how its simply a habit of behaviour caused by yourself, but therefore cured by yourself, i foubnd it very liberating which was exactly what ineeded.

google the charles linden method it must be in there somewhere.

oh and also listen to Oasis, the most uplifing and positive band in the world, try Be here now album from 1997...genius.. itll make you wanna touch the sky!!!

stay young and invincible (Oasis 1995).

pinecone · 09-12-2009, 03:34 PM

Therapy can really, really help. It helped me, but there's still some anxiety with large groups of people I don't know. Bits of simple advice I've found helpful:
'Feel the fear and do it anyway'. I know it feels horrible especially at first but it does get easier with time, and it certainly feels better when you achieve something little.
On that note, after doing something scary don't over-analyse. People probably aren't thinking about every detail of what you said/did anyway, and even if they were, beating yourself up isn't going to help the situation.

I think social anxiety disorder is probably alot easier to deal with if you call it 'shyness'. Yes, social anxiety is a real disorder and can be very difficult to live with, but I think alot of people presume they have it when they are just shy.

08-28-2009, 05:20 PM	#1
HyruleGuardian Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 567	Living with social anxiety disorder I've been dealing with this disorder my whole life. Every time I try to step outside my comfort zone and put myself out there, something inside of me pulls me back into my shell. I lose all my confidence on the spot and clam up. It happens almost every time I go into social situations. Over time, things have gotten slightly better. I am much more social than I used to be. I have a girlfriend of a year. She often gets frustrated with me, but is also understanding because it is the way I am. However, I can tell it is causing a strain on the relationship because whenever I go out I tend to be quiet and clam up. She wants me to put myself out there more and I say I will every time but I never do. It has really taken its toll on me. I get nervous weeks in advance if a party is scheduled. Any time we go out somewhere I can't wait for it to be over with. I juts can't enjoy life like this. I don't know what to do anymore. Does anybody else have this disorder? Any advice?

08-28-2009, 06:11 PM	#2
Dancergirl425 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: May 2009 Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 289	Keep ur chin up literally repeat in ur head "I don't care what everyone else thinks" smile (if u smile u'll feel happier eventually) deep breaths this helps me sometimes.

08-28-2009, 06:33 PM	#3
Ftheworld Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 90	I have the same problem as you. I try and put myself out there and try to participate in conversations but I just get too nervous and sick in my stomach. You probably know what I mean. I start having negative thoughts and my face gets very stiff and I almost feel like I want to cry. I've decided to seek some help and will be seeing a psychiatrist again next week. I was on Lexapro 2 years ago and it really helped. I was able to talk to people and felt much more comfortable and relaxed. I foolishly stopped the medication because I wanted to solve this problem by myself without any help. Big mistake. I've finally admitted that I have a problem that I cannot solve by myself.

09-12-2009, 07:46 AM	#4
Northern Lad Offline Member Join Date: May 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 16	Dont know if this is exactly the solution for your problem, but ive had anxiety attacks for the last 12 years or so. it was at its worst 10 years or so ago, since then every so often, and no more often due to some recent problems in my life. anyway i got this home course thing called the charles linden method, it teaches techniques on how to cope with the anxiety attacks especially in social situations, tells you why your body is doing this, how its simply a habit of behaviour caused by yourself, but therefore cured by yourself, i foubnd it very liberating which was exactly what ineeded. google the charles linden method it must be in there somewhere. oh and also listen to Oasis, the most uplifing and positive band in the world, try Be here now album from 1997...genius.. itll make you wanna touch the sky!!! stay young and invincible (Oasis 1995).

09-12-2009, 03:34 PM	#5
pinecone Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 6	Therapy can really, really help. It helped me, but there's still some anxiety with large groups of people I don't know. Bits of simple advice I've found helpful: 'Feel the fear and do it anyway'. I know it feels horrible especially at first but it does get easier with time, and it certainly feels better when you achieve something little. On that note, after doing something scary don't over-analyse. People probably aren't thinking about every detail of what you said/did anyway, and even if they were, beating yourself up isn't going to help the situation. I think social anxiety disorder is probably alot easier to deal with if you call it 'shyness'. Yes, social anxiety is a real disorder and can be very difficult to live with, but I think alot of people presume they have it when they are just shy.