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#1 |
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Offline
Platinum Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: California
Gender: Female
Age: 29
Posts: 1,414
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Physical or Psychological?
For the past week or so, I've been getting bad headaches and stomach aches when I do certain things. I'm a firm believer that bodily symptoms are created or at least exacerbated by psychological issues, at least some of the time, but I don't know if I feel sick because of the physical or mental or both.
I've been keeping myself busy, but some tasks are harder than others. I recently started my "dream" program: a writing course at a university that involves exciting assignments and readings. The problem is, when I sit down to let my normally creative juices flow, I get headaches, stomach aches, and anxiety. I take breaths and time outs to pray, but when I sit down again to start my work, I'm bombarded with memories of my ex putting me down, telling me my writing isn't that great. I've been praying specific prayers to break the spiritual hold my ex has over me so that I can forgive him for hurting me so badly, but it's tough. I'm still triggered by the pain he left, even if he's not here. It seems like so many things that I do--apply for jobs, classwork, housework, socializing--STILL, after 7 months, remind me of him. I've been avoiding ENA for the last couple days (most of the day) because reading about some of these situations bring anger and pain. I feel like I've been discarded and blamed for my ex's problems and I really want to get over these feelings and objectively try to just improve myself, but it's so hard. We were together for over 7 years and I feel like I'm just getting to see the extent of who he was. For most of the time we were together, things were really good. We did argue at times, but it felt like there was love and trust. At the end, I was in for a surprise and I wonder if I was lied to about the reasons for the break-up, which cause a lot of pain...if I was indeed lied to, I'm not sure how I can trust again because he was such a "good" guy as far as everyone I know is concerned. No one would believe he would be dishonest, but my gut tells me he was now. It's like my perception is out of control. Most people agree with the old perception of my ex: the sweet, caring guy I was with for so long. But they don't know the person who constantly lied and made excuses about his classwork and put me down when I didn't do what he wanted. The thing is, how to I stop the physical stuff? I've been exercising, I took some Tylenol, and I've been drinking so much water that I'm sick. I take vitamins. But I feel like I'm about to throw up...and have felt that way for a while. It's not just grief, it's actual physical sickness, like when you have a stomach flu. I'm also dizzy. Why? It's been 7 months and I don't think about him all day anymore, but I still feel like he's having some kind of effect and I don't like it. Last edited by WomanWriter; 08-19-2009 at 04:42 PM. |
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#2 |
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Offline
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: new york
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Posts: 66
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Maybe you should seek therapy and have a counselor help you sort out your thoughts and feelings.
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