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Thread: I'm having a hard time breaking up with my girlfriend

  1. #1
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    I'm having a hard time breaking up with my girlfriend

    I love my girlfriend very much, but she has done so many wrong things and I really just want to leave her. I've been wanting to end it for a few days now, after she once again betrayed my trust. Every time I try to break up, she comes over a few hours later begging and crying for me to take her back, and I just can't deny her. She makes me feel guilty by saying things like "If you really love me you'll stay no matter what" or "If I have to live without you I'll kill myself"

    I've tried three times now, and it's the same routine each time. I know I just need to grow a pair and end it, but I hate seeing her so sad. Any advice on how to do this the right way?




     


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    What is the reason for wanting to break up with her?
    Have you actually sat down and discussed the issues?

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    Gold Member sparkles4's Avatar
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    Good call leaving someone who threatens to kill themselves if you dump them. That's a really manipulative and selfish thing for her to say, and if a breakup is gonna work you're probably going to have to cut contact with her right away so she can't say these things and guilt you back in.

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    We've been dating for almost two years now, and over the course of the relationship she has been dishonest. But one thing that has been coming up over and over is her contacting her ex boyfriend. Earlier in the relationship we ended up having a big fight about it, and she told me she wouldn't speak to him anymore. This last June however, I found text messages from him, where he was saying things like "you're so beautiful, I really miss you". I confronted her about it, and she said that she was going to talk to him, and if I didn't like it I could leave. So I did. 2 weeks later she calls and begs for me back, so I took her back.

    A week after getting back together she admits to have STILL been talking to him, but she swears on her dead mother's grave she won't have anything to do with him anymore. I believed her once again, and everything went back to normal. A few days ago, I needed to use her phone to call someone. When I opened the phone it was on her myspace mail inbox, filled with messages from him. I read through them, and she's telling him how much she misses him, and how she would leave me for him if it came down it it.

    So now I am beyond the point of forgiveness, and I don't think I can be happy with her anymore.

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    I don't know I can cut contact though. If I don't answer the phone she just drives over to my house, it doesn't matter what time it is. Last time I woke up to her knocking on my window at 5:00 in the morning.

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    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
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    Perhaps this is the incentive to finally dump her for good. She is a liar and a manipulator and don't waste another 2 years of your life with this loser. Threatening to commit suicide if you leave is a sign of an emotionally messed up toxic individual. That should be your cue to leave for good.

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    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nil View Post
    I don't know I can cut contact though. If I don't answer the phone she just drives over to my house, it doesn't matter what time it is. Last time I woke up to her knocking on my window at 5:00 in the morning.
    Make it clear it is over and make it clear that you want no further contact with her. If she comes knocking at your window tell her to leave or you will call the police.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member faithful14's Avatar
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    If she is dishonest with you, then the relationship will never work and she NEEDS TO understand that. Honestly, if she threatens to kill herself, call her parents and call the cops so they are aware of what is happening.

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    Woah dude I know exactly what your going through. I applaud you for having the stones to end it. My advice would be that you know she's never gonna change her ways. She's using her threats to keep you around but also allow her to be "untrustworthy". And that's not fair. End it and stop caring about her feelings or do the same things to her she's doing to you. Either way she obviously doesn't care for you cuz if she did shed change her ways. Girls come a dime a dozen always someone else out there who will treat you like a normal gf should. Gl.

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    This is just so stressful, because I know what I should do, and what I want to do, but I just don't have the courage to actually do it. I need to do it soon though, because I know that by staying with her I'm just leading her on.

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