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  1. #1
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    I dont like my wife anymore,but I still love her

    I dont know what to do about my bad deal here. My wife is not a bad person. But I dont like who she is I dont like much about her at all, We have ben married for 7 years. I feel like I want out, she is no longer atracdtive to me I feel like she always has a problem or is always sick or always has an issue. I tried to get a divorce. she gets mad at me a lot for going hunting and fishing all the time. she is from another state. aand she goese there about 4 to 5 times a year. But I pay for it. She dont have a job and dont want one. she gets mad when I dont take off work and go with her. but we cant afford for me to take off and I dont like her family they are all criminals and filthy mouthed crazys. a few weeks ago we agreed it was over. we still lived together because she dont have money to go any where and I am in the prosess of buying a house. anyway I started talking to antother girl and went fishing with her once. I never had sex or even kissed her. My wife went out to my work truck and got into my phone and seen that I was texting her, She then came in and threw a huge fit, I understand kinda, but she agreed that it was over and I ment it. she now dosent want to split up, I dont know what to do I feel traped and I hate my life, I also told her this. What do I do? am I just a huge peice of crap?

  2. #2
    Gold Member doityourself's Avatar
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    I would keep the relationships outside of this one closed until you have a chance to finish this one off.

    I dont know what kind of advice to give, it seems like she has a case of I dont want you but I dont want anyone else to either. You've been married a long time, Is there any chance of reconcilation?

  3. #3
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    Stop being so down on yourself. You sound like a good guy.
    Why don't you like her? She's sick? Remember sickness and in health?
    Is she being abusive toward you? Maybe she's depressed?
    There are many reasons she could be acting this way. Maybe you could put your foot down and give her a time to gain employment. I'm sure if she's working she'll have more self esteem and become the person you married again.

  4. #4

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    <>, your wife is having health problems (in sickness and health is a part of marriage vows) and your cheating on her (cheating is just about sex). Not to mention that apparently you think that a person's worth is only in their looks. I really hope that you reconsider wether the things you are complaining about really matter.

    I would suggest going to therapy. You should at least try to save your marriage rather than just throwing it away because she's sick and "not pretty enough" for you and is unfortunate enough to have a bad family and ethical enough to love her family for being her family rather than judging them.
    Last edited by DN; 08-12-2009 at 03:31 PM. Reason: off-topic comment

  5. #5
    Platinum Member PsychGirly's Avatar
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    I don't think you love her. I think you've fallen out of love, but you're so attached to her & used to her presence that you're afraid to leave her.
    "Happiness lies for those who cry, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives."

    "The more time we spend disapproving of others, the less time we have to improve ourselves."

  6. #6
    Platinum Member savignon's Avatar
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    Well, it's not fair to make your wife your enemy if you're unhappy with your life. Obviously you're not happy if you're looking to another girl for friendship or whatever. I certainly wouldn't like it if my husband did that and yet didn't have the energy or desire to work on our marriage.
    If you don't love her and you don't want to work this out, get a divorce. Ask friends and family for a place to stay and leave. There's no reason you would be "trying" to get a divorce and failing unless you want the relationship.
    "It'll all be okay in the end....so if it's not okay, it's not the end." -Unknown

    "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission." - Eleanor Roosevelt

  7. #7
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    Thank you for your in put. sorry about the grammar, I am no enlish major. I am a little shocked that you think of me that way I have given this relationship a lot of time and we have gone through a lot of crazy things. I never cheated on her while we were in good standings. that is the only time that I ever had anything to do with anyone else. But its good to see how others veiw my veiw. I am so lost I Dont tknow how to function. I am very rierd of all the difrent struggles, She was on and off drugs for our first few years i think she is finaly drug free she admited to me one time of drug use in the last 3 years. I know that she is depressed but so am I we are both in our mid 30s and I feel like my life is sliping away. to only be waisted on unhappyness. I f I am way out of line I understand, I understand better or worse, But I feel so unhappy I just want out, How do i change my feelings about this. How do I change my feelings about her. I cant even stand for her to touch me anymore. I wish I didnt feel this way.

  8. #8
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    Did you guys ever sit down and discuss things? Did you ever tell her why you are unhappy and why she is unhappy?

  9. #9
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    I wish I didnt feel so bad about this the reason for the other girl I think was to make this easy on me but it didnt do that. this is not my first failed relationship, I am also a little afraid of loosing my belongings, I must realy be a crap face this even sounds bad to me when I write it out..

  10. #10
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    yes we have talked and we never seem to get anywhere. I am very bad at that kind of stuff, I told her that I would try to go to counseling and she agreed to find one but its ben a week and she still hasnt found one.

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