Have you ever felt like your family/parents always favored another sibling more?

valentino2003 · 08-11-2009, 04:44 PM

So far, I haven't met anyone whom I've known to have admitted to feeling this way. I swear to god, my family and parents don't really want to admit it but I guess I'll have to say, I've always felt like they don't really care about me much. I know that they love me but, seriously it doesn't seem like they really like to show it. But there is nothing that I can change this.

For example,
I have four brothers;
My brothers are always catered to, they get away with everything and even when they are in debt with credit card bills and loans my parents will pick up their tabs and pay their every way out. They are privileged to treat me like a monster. They take out thousands of dollars to buy their sons a car. I have never even asked for a penny to help me with anything.

I, on the other hand, cannot ask my parents to help me with anything. I'm basically a struggling student studying Nursing. My parents are willing to pay for their son's weddings, birthdays and etc...and credit card bills when in fact I ask them to help me with tuition, they refuse. Its not even about the money situation but even when I talk to them they treat me like I'm not even there. My father even told me, that he knows for sure he cannot count on a person like me. I mean that hurted, how can you tell your own child that? I may be 24 years old now and too old to be discussing about this matter but it sure feels hurtful when your family ignores you.

I want to know, IS THERE ANYBODY In THIS <Language removed by moderator> WORLD THAT IS TREATED LIKE THIS? If so, how do you deal with this bs??

**BlueAfterglow08** · 08-11-2009, 04:57 PM

Try not to get too upset. Parents can be unfair and cruel sometimes. Is it because they frown on what you've done/are doing. It is no way to be treated. Have you ever asked them>?

rosephase · 08-11-2009, 05:44 PM

It can be hard when you feel like the less liked offspring. Do you parents have any reason to say that they can't trust you?

Southern · 08-11-2009, 05:49 PM

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=299142

scared and alone · 08-15-2009, 11:59 PM

oh yeah. I always knew (somewhat) that my parents loved me, but i always felt the least loved. It took until my fathers death to know how much he REALLY loved me. Shame.

My grandma (moms mom) is the only family member I have that I KNOW loves ALL of us equally. She means more to me than anything.

Vanishing Girl · 08-21-2009, 01:18 AM

Yes I know what you're going through. My brother was the favorite of my mom's whole side of the family.....he had college paid for by them, both his first cars paid for (a camaro and chevelle), everything he ever asked for, and finally when he got older a fully functioning recording studio. I paid my way through college (and am still paying), and while my first car was paid for it broke down weekly b/c it was a "$500 special". We were treated very differently.

However, he was also the one who got abused by my father the most, as my Dad was jealous of him and treated me like gold. So, i guess my mom and her side of the family always felt bad for him and i was like the black sheep because i was close to my father as a kid (not knowing how abusive he was until my mom left him and then he abused me because no one else was around). Not meaning to get off topic, sorry........

Bottom line is i know what you mean. It sucks, but the only thing you can do is love yourself and expect nothing from anyone except you. At some point it may be good to let your parents know your hurt feelings...give them a chance to talk to you openly and you can do the same with them. Open communication can do wonders. At the very least it will let you know where things stand and go from there. If they are unhealthy to be around remove yourself from their presence as much as you need to in order to remain stable, but realize that as your parents they will probably always be in your life.

I have serious self esteem and self worth issues from the above and from emotional abuse, so find a way to love yourself above all else.

ang · 08-22-2009, 01:33 PM

You seriously should talk to your parents about why they are acting that way. That's really unfair that they are nice to your brothers but they treat you unfairly. I hope your parents will realize how much they are hurting you and that they will finally be able to support and help you. I hope things will improve! Take care.

08-11-2009, 04:44 PM	#1
valentino2003 Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Long Beach, California Gender: None Specified Posts: 59	Have you ever felt like your family/parents always favored another sibling more? So far, I haven't met anyone whom I've known to have admitted to feeling this way. I swear to god, my family and parents don't really want to admit it but I guess I'll have to say, I've always felt like they don't really care about me much. I know that they love me but, seriously it doesn't seem like they really like to show it. But there is nothing that I can change this. For example, I have four brothers; My brothers are always catered to, they get away with everything and even when they are in debt with credit card bills and loans my parents will pick up their tabs and pay their every way out. They are privileged to treat me like a monster. They take out thousands of dollars to buy their sons a car. I have never even asked for a penny to help me with anything. I, on the other hand, cannot ask my parents to help me with anything. I'm basically a struggling student studying Nursing. My parents are willing to pay for their son's weddings, birthdays and etc...and credit card bills when in fact I ask them to help me with tuition, they refuse. Its not even about the money situation but even when I talk to them they treat me like I'm not even there. My father even told me, that he knows for sure he cannot count on a person like me. I mean that hurted, how can you tell your own child that? I may be 24 years old now and too old to be discussing about this matter but it sure feels hurtful when your family ignores you. I want to know, IS THERE ANYBODY In THIS <Language removed by moderator> WORLD THAT IS TREATED LIKE THIS? If so, how do you deal with this bs?? Last edited by BlueAfterglow08; 08-11-2009 at 04:57 PM.

08-11-2009, 04:57 PM	#2
BlueAfterglow08 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,249	Try not to get too upset. Parents can be unfair and cruel sometimes. Is it because they frown on what you've done/are doing. It is no way to be treated. Have you ever asked them>? __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

08-11-2009, 05:44 PM	#3
rosephase Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Seattle Gender: Female Posts: 1,014	It can be hard when you feel like the less liked offspring. Do you parents have any reason to say that they can't trust you? __________________ Check it out if you want to know more about me or open relationships: http://rosephase.blogspot.com/

08-11-2009, 05:49 PM	#4
Southern Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 1,231	http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=299142 __________________ "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

08-15-2009, 11:59 PM	#5
scared and alone Offline Silver Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,207	oh yeah. I always knew (somewhat) that my parents loved me, but i always felt the least loved. It took until my fathers death to know how much he REALLY loved me. Shame. My grandma (moms mom) is the only family member I have that I KNOW loves ALL of us equally. She means more to me than anything.

08-21-2009, 01:18 AM	#6
Vanishing Girl Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Pennsylvania Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 231	Yes I know what you're going through. My brother was the favorite of my mom's whole side of the family.....he had college paid for by them, both his first cars paid for (a camaro and chevelle), everything he ever asked for, and finally when he got older a fully functioning recording studio. I paid my way through college (and am still paying), and while my first car was paid for it broke down weekly b/c it was a "$500 special". We were treated very differently. However, he was also the one who got abused by my father the most, as my Dad was jealous of him and treated me like gold. So, i guess my mom and her side of the family always felt bad for him and i was like the black sheep because i was close to my father as a kid (not knowing how abusive he was until my mom left him and then he abused me because no one else was around). Not meaning to get off topic, sorry........ Bottom line is i know what you mean. It sucks, but the only thing you can do is love yourself and expect nothing from anyone except you. At some point it may be good to let your parents know your hurt feelings...give them a chance to talk to you openly and you can do the same with them. Open communication can do wonders. At the very least it will let you know where things stand and go from there. If they are unhealthy to be around remove yourself from their presence as much as you need to in order to remain stable, but realize that as your parents they will probably always be in your life. I have serious self esteem and self worth issues from the above and from emotional abuse, so find a way to love yourself above all else.

08-22-2009, 01:33 PM	#7
ang Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: OH Gender: Female Posts: 25	You seriously should talk to your parents about why they are acting that way. That's really unfair that they are nice to your brothers but they treat you unfairly. I hope your parents will realize how much they are hurting you and that they will finally be able to support and help you. I hope things will improve! Take care.