How to get on the same page

mmike · 08-11-2009, 08:09 AM

Okay, another situation.

Met a girl, on-fire chemistry, making out 3-4 times over a 2 week period but never much time to complete the task. I started to act in more relationship way..asking to see her more often. This seemed to result in her reducing her availability. I did not get the message...she started becoming more distant but when we did meet she reciprocated kissing, making out completely. At that stage I finally got it that she probably was just looking for a FWB and that would have been fine with me.

However...here is the real question...how could I have been certain that we were on the same page and could have both felt comfortable with carrying on without some misunderstanding.

She actually was very communicative and liked subjects to be out in the open but usually only if I brought up something as an issue. However, I hesitated to bring up the status of the kind of relationship out of fear that it might be a turn off to her........how could I have introduced this for discussion ...it is not exactly something you bring up. Our actions (IMO) showed we both wanted "benefits"

1) How could I have determined with certainty that she was comfortable with a FWB situation?

2) More importantly, how could I have undid her resistance brought on by my behaviors that indicated I might be looking for a more long-term realtionship?
(I am guessing that communicating that I would have been fine with a FWB would bring her relief)

In other words what would have been the best way to get across I was fine with a FWB and would not be looking for more. - Just meeting and discussing it face to face?

Thanks!!

08-11-2009, 08:09 AM	#1
mmike Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Honolulu Gender: Male Posts: 109	How to get on the same page Okay, another situation. Met a girl, on-fire chemistry, making out 3-4 times over a 2 week period but never much time to complete the task. I started to act in more relationship way..asking to see her more often. This seemed to result in her reducing her availability. I did not get the message...she started becoming more distant but when we did meet she reciprocated kissing, making out completely. At that stage I finally got it that she probably was just looking for a FWB and that would have been fine with me. However...here is the real question...how could I have been certain that we were on the same page and could have both felt comfortable with carrying on without some misunderstanding. She actually was very communicative and liked subjects to be out in the open but usually only if I brought up something as an issue. However, I hesitated to bring up the status of the kind of relationship out of fear that it might be a turn off to her........how could I have introduced this for discussion ...it is not exactly something you bring up. Our actions (IMO) showed we both wanted "benefits" 1) How could I have determined with certainty that she was comfortable with a FWB situation? 2) More importantly, how could I have undid her resistance brought on by my behaviors that indicated I might be looking for a more long-term realtionship? (I am guessing that communicating that I would have been fine with a FWB would bring her relief) In other words what would have been the best way to get across I was fine with a FWB and would not be looking for more. - Just meeting and discussing it face to face? Thanks!!