To needy?

todd2009 · 08-10-2009, 07:46 PM

I have been seeing this girl for about 4 months. I decided that I really love her and have let her know how I feel.(on several occasions) I buy her small gifts and flowers also to express just how serious I am. I even asked her to move in with me and she seemed down. I text her the next day to ask when she was going to move her stuff in and she told me relax and she wasnt sure. Thats tex gave me a bad vibe. I know she cares about me, but I feel like I am to needy towards her. Everything advice I have read tells me to go after her 100%(without stalking her) an I have. I do have a life outside of her. Is it to late? Have I already lost her? If not, how do get her to be more of the purser without playing games?

knowme · 08-10-2009, 08:27 PM

Keep in mind that some women arent used to being pursued. Some women like to be the pursuer. And some women are only interested in men who are cool and aloof and that they can pursue.

It could be this, it could be anything, but all her actions and words are telling you to cool off.

So just back off for a while. A week?

mmike · 08-10-2009, 08:40 PM

Yeah, you need to back off..and what's even worse is that once you start pursuing it can be impossible to get back to the stage you were. What are guy's experiences with this and has anyone had any real successes at getting back to beginning once the girl became distant and wanted room? Curious to know what worked. Is it as simple as just not contacting for one week?

knowme · 08-10-2009, 08:42 PM

I just said a week cause it sounded even a day would be hard lol

LazyDaisy · 08-10-2009, 10:53 PM

In my opinion, 4 months is entirely too soon to move in with someone. What is the rush?

Capricorn3 · 08-10-2009, 10:57 PM

You definitely need to back off, way off. Buying too many gifts in such a short time is overkill and asking someone to move in after only 4 months is way too soon. I would be feeling smothered by now and ready to run.

Take a deep breath, back off a little and give her some space.

Anyway · 08-11-2009, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by todd2009

I have been seeing this girl for about 4 months. I decided that I really love her and have let her know how I feel.(on several occasions) I buy her small gifts and flowers also to express just how serious I am. I even asked her to move in with me and she seemed down. I text her the next day to ask when she was going to move her stuff in and she told me relax and she wasnt sure. Thats tex gave me a bad vibe. I know she cares about me, but I feel like I am to needy towards her. Everything advice I have read tells me to go after her 100%(without stalking her) an I have. I do have a life outside of her. Is it to late? Have I already lost her? If not, how do get her to be more of the purser without playing games?

Oh jeez, how old are you and where did you get this advice? You're rushing in and coming across as very needy. Back off and don't contact her. If she wants to keep dating you, she'll call. This is your only chance. In my opinion you should prepare to move on. Neediness kills a woman's attraction for you very fast.

Let me give you some advice for the next girl

- after 4 months of dating you're usually supposed to have 'is this serious?' or 'are we exclusive?'-talk
- you can't buy love as the Beatles stated several decades ago; don't buy gifts especially in the beginning of a relationship
- don't move in with a girl unless you've been dating for at least one year; you don't her after 4 months and you don't know what will happen when honeymoon is over and you need to have a connection to proceed the relationship...I've seen dozens relationships fail at this mark

Sorry, that I can't give you hope but I think there isn't.

todd2009 · 08-11-2009, 02:39 AM

Is it possible to get back to the start when she was the pursuer if I play it coy and not call or text for a while? Or, am I toast?

Anyway · 08-11-2009, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by todd2009

Is it possible to get back to the start when she was the pursuer if I play it coy and not call or text for a while? Or, am I toast?

Do not call or text but don't play it coy (that's just another turnoff). And yes, I guess you're toast. Learn from this experience and adjust your behaviour accordingly in the future. You don't need a partner to be happy. SO's are compliments to your life, they are NOT your focus. This mindset will help you stay cool in relationships.

ghost69 · 08-11-2009, 10:42 AM

sounds like you smothered her. back off for sure. give her some space. if she's still into you, she will contact you. there really is nothing you can do at this point. if you do, you will look that much more psycho.

08-10-2009, 07:46 PM	#1
todd2009 Offline Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 2	To needy? I have been seeing this girl for about 4 months. I decided that I really love her and have let her know how I feel.(on several occasions) I buy her small gifts and flowers also to express just how serious I am. I even asked her to move in with me and she seemed down. I text her the next day to ask when she was going to move her stuff in and she told me relax and she wasnt sure. Thats tex gave me a bad vibe. I know she cares about me, but I feel like I am to needy towards her. Everything advice I have read tells me to go after her 100%(without stalking her) an I have. I do have a life outside of her. Is it to late? Have I already lost her? If not, how do get her to be more of the purser without playing games?

08-10-2009, 10:57 PM	#6
Capricorn3 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 1,612	You definitely need to back off, way off. Buying too many gifts in such a short time is overkill and asking someone to move in after only 4 months is way too soon. I would be feeling smothered by now and ready to run. Take a deep breath, back off a little and give her some space. __________________ The reward of a thing well done, is to have done it.

08-11-2009, 10:42 AM	#10
ghost69 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Desert Gender: Male Posts: 33,444	sounds like you smothered her. back off for sure. give her some space. if she's still into you, she will contact you. there really is nothing you can do at this point. if you do, you will look that much more psycho. __________________ Not only am I friendly, but I'm invisible too. Too perfect of a relationship is too weird-g69 If you say you are normal, I'd think you are weird-g69 The world can only get better, it depends on how you look at it-g69 'As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me'-5fingerdeathpunch you cannot control the world, you can only live in it the best you can for you-g69 NooOoOoooOOoOoOoooooo

08-10-2009, 08:27 PM	#2
knowme Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: australia Posts: 145	Keep in mind that some women arent used to being pursued. Some women like to be the pursuer. And some women are only interested in men who are cool and aloof and that they can pursue. It could be this, it could be anything, but all her actions and words are telling you to cool off. So just back off for a while. A week?

08-10-2009, 08:40 PM	#3
mmike Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Honolulu Gender: Male Posts: 109	Yeah, you need to back off..and what's even worse is that once you start pursuing it can be impossible to get back to the stage you were. What are guy's experiences with this and has anyone had any real successes at getting back to beginning once the girl became distant and wanted room? Curious to know what worked. Is it as simple as just not contacting for one week?

08-10-2009, 08:42 PM	#4
knowme Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: australia Posts: 145	I just said a week cause it sounded even a day would be hard lol

08-10-2009, 10:53 PM	#5
LazyDaisy Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New Jersey Gender: Female Posts: 316	In my opinion, 4 months is entirely too soon to move in with someone. What is the rush?

08-11-2009, 02:39 AM	#8
todd2009 Offline Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 2	Is it possible to get back to the start when she was the pursuer if I play it coy and not call or text for a while? Or, am I toast?