So some men like maintaining lazy girls (damsel in distress)??

yeawutever · 07-27-2009, 01:43 PM

If so what's up with that? Ok I have this friend who is 2 years younger than me, is messy and already has a kid who's 3 years old (she gave birth when she was only 17 years old). As of now she is not working at all but only studying when she has time. Her reason for not working is because in my native country is hard finding a good paying job. It's only a matter of time before the money runs out and has no more to pay for her studies.

So basically she doesn't do that much but solves it by staying with a healthy man who supports her and buys her things. Basically she tells her mother that everything is under control and that he will buy her child things too.

First, I keep thinking that she should do something for a living. Who knows when the relationship will come to an end and she is left with nothing at all but stay in her mother's house and continue being poor. Second, wouldnt any man's family say something to it. What parent would be happy to hear that their son is maintaining a lazy woman that doesn't work.

**BlueAfterglow08** · 07-27-2009, 01:46 PM

Does she stay at home and look after the kid? that can be pretty fultime.

I say each to their own. I dont judge people for their ways of living. If it makes him and her happy for them to be that way, fair enough.

it is by no means a healthy way to have a relationship or to sustain life as what would happen if he left her oneday?

I think your right to be worried about her, and Im the same, even if my guy was a billionaire I'd want to do SOMETHING i wouldnt be happy lazing around.

DN · 07-27-2009, 01:50 PM

I take it he is not the father?

yeawutever · 07-27-2009, 01:51 PM

She has her mother that looks after the kid when she's going out but yes she does care of her kid. However her sister also has a kid the same age but she works and studies at the same time. Her sister is a person that wants to make it on her own and not rely on a man to solve her life.

yeawutever · 07-27-2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DN

I take it he is not the father?

No he isn't. The real father is in the US and wants nothing to do with the kid, what a coward.

**BlueAfterglow08** · 07-27-2009, 01:52 PM

Some women enjoy being at home and looking after the kids etc, some people just have no desire to work or be out in the world and some like to be stay at home moms (which can be a full time job and I admire women that do it) or some women like to be looked after and taken care of.

Unfortunatley its not very sustainable always. If something should go wrong what would she have to fall back on?

yeawutever · 07-27-2009, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueAfterglow08

Unfortunatley its not very sustainable always. If something should go wrong what would she have to fall back on?

True that was my point. Relying on a man is not going to solve your life 100% thus why I work and have enough money in the bank. Then I'll continue studying when I come back to the US.

But oh well, everyone has their own lifestyle. If she's happy like that ok but sadly if the relationship fails, she will be back to square 0 again.

**BlueAfterglow08** · 07-27-2009, 01:59 PM

Exactly. Your right to worry about her, thats just you being a friend. And yes I want to get a degree myself, and if i have kids I'd like to stay at home with them for a while, then go back to work, and then in my guy ever left me I'd be able to sustain my OWN lifestyle. Its good to have a backup plan like a degree/

D_Lish · 07-27-2009, 02:45 PM

Yep, never make the mistake of allowing yourself to become totally dependant on any man and in any way...

Because relationships don't come with a guarantee of always working out and he could walk out that door and anyday...or you yourself may want to walk.

Jelina · 07-27-2009, 03:34 PM

I think it goes both ways, I know alot of men who go after girls with jobs and who already have places to live in. I know some guys who will go out with the ugliest girls but brag about how much money they spend on them. I don't think it's good for anyone to depend on anyone else. It's different if you decide to be a stay at home mother or father, if you work from home, or if you are disabled. But there are alot of people out there that just go hunting for people with money.

07-27-2009, 01:43 PM	#1
yeawutever Online Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Age: 22 Posts: 5,671	So some men like maintaining lazy girls (damsel in distress)?? If so what's up with that? Ok I have this friend who is 2 years younger than me, is messy and already has a kid who's 3 years old (she gave birth when she was only 17 years old). As of now she is not working at all but only studying when she has time. Her reason for not working is because in my native country is hard finding a good paying job. It's only a matter of time before the money runs out and has no more to pay for her studies. So basically she doesn't do that much but solves it by staying with a healthy man who supports her and buys her things. Basically she tells her mother that everything is under control and that he will buy her child things too. First, I keep thinking that she should do something for a living. Who knows when the relationship will come to an end and she is left with nothing at all but stay in her mother's house and continue being poor. Second, wouldnt any man's family say something to it. What parent would be happy to hear that their son is maintaining a lazy woman that doesn't work. __________________ Opened-minded to those in need of help. Not everything is black and white as it seems.... If you're gonna do something, think twice and make sure it's something worthy that you don't later on regret!!!!!!!!!!! Still in a LDR with boyfriend.

07-27-2009, 01:46 PM	#2
BlueAfterglow08 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,249	Does she stay at home and look after the kid? that can be pretty fultime. I say each to their own. I dont judge people for their ways of living. If it makes him and her happy for them to be that way, fair enough. it is by no means a healthy way to have a relationship or to sustain life as what would happen if he left her oneday? I think your right to be worried about her, and Im the same, even if my guy was a billionaire I'd want to do SOMETHING i wouldnt be happy lazing around. __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

07-27-2009, 01:50 PM	#3
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,441	I take it he is not the father? __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

07-27-2009, 01:51 PM	#4
yeawutever Online Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Age: 22 Posts: 5,671	She has her mother that looks after the kid when she's going out but yes she does care of her kid. However her sister also has a kid the same age but she works and studies at the same time. Her sister is a person that wants to make it on her own and not rely on a man to solve her life. __________________ Opened-minded to those in need of help. Not everything is black and white as it seems.... If you're gonna do something, think twice and make sure it's something worthy that you don't later on regret!!!!!!!!!!! Still in a LDR with boyfriend.

07-27-2009, 01:52 PM	#6
BlueAfterglow08 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,249	Some women enjoy being at home and looking after the kids etc, some people just have no desire to work or be out in the world and some like to be stay at home moms (which can be a full time job and I admire women that do it) or some women like to be looked after and taken care of. Unfortunatley its not very sustainable always. If something should go wrong what would she have to fall back on? __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

07-27-2009, 01:59 PM	#8
BlueAfterglow08 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,249	Exactly. Your right to worry about her, thats just you being a friend. And yes I want to get a degree myself, and if i have kids I'd like to stay at home with them for a while, then go back to work, and then in my guy ever left me I'd be able to sustain my OWN lifestyle. Its good to have a backup plan like a degree/ __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

07-27-2009, 02:45 PM	#9
D_Lish Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: England UK Gender: Female Age: 34 Posts: 3,728	Yep, never make the mistake of allowing yourself to become totally dependant on any man and in any way... Because relationships don't come with a guarantee of always working out and he could walk out that door and anyday...or you yourself may want to walk.

07-27-2009, 03:34 PM	#10
Jelina Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: I'll never tell...I'll never tell :) Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 609	I think it goes both ways, I know alot of men who go after girls with jobs and who already have places to live in. I know some guys who will go out with the ugliest girls but brag about how much money they spend on them. I don't think it's good for anyone to depend on anyone else. It's different if you decide to be a stay at home mother or father, if you work from home, or if you are disabled. But there are alot of people out there that just go hunting for people with money. __________________ Life is like photography, you develop from the negatives. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them...