Making Myself Feel like I deserve Happiness (self hatred/sabotage)

Debbie37 · 07-17-2009, 12:31 AM

I often semi-unconsciously sabotage my goals and things, and I think a large part of this is due to feeling like I don't deserve to be happy.

I do want to be happy and accomplish great things but I also feel like I'm undeserving.

I often find myself sabotaging my goals. Its like I'm afraid to be happy. I feel like such a fraud sometimes. Sometimes I think that if people knew the real me they would be repulsed.

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on how to overcome self sabotage and feel like I deserve happiness?

Has anyone successfully overcome this?

Responses appreciated.

Thanks

odile · 07-17-2009, 12:47 AM

It's so tempting to tell you that you *do* deserve happiness, but if you don't believe it in your heart of hearts, then no-one will be able to cheerlead you into believing it.

In my opinion, the best thing that you can do for yourself is see if you can find a counselor or therapist with whom you can really open up and talk.

If you can hash out some of these feelings, you're likely able to find a way to conquer some of the self-sabotaging tendencies.
It has been done, and is certainly doable!

p.s.
You may not be perfect, but always remember that NOBODY is.
As far as any of us can guess, we only have this one life to live, and our time here is short.
You owe it to yourself to try to find a way to free yourself and make the most of it.

dolfin · 07-17-2009, 12:48 AM

I HAVE DONE THE SAME THING. I HAve sabotaged the one thing that means everything in my life, because i felt unworthy... more or less... and the feeling of a fraud comes with that. However, that is common as i have learned, yet its too late for me to salvage.

The point is, life comes and goes like that. There are illusions, tricks, and blocks in the way of the success we really want, even if they don't appear in tangible ways, but more in the mental capacity.

Many of our karmic tests in life can be to learn to accept, receive, and follow through with what we want as well as handle the the things that happen negatively and unexpectedly. My advice, if you still have goals and ambition, pursue them with the love you would have for the companion of your dreams. Go after it, because that is what life is about.. Staying motivated, having goals, and following through. I have sabotaged and have way too much regret for any 25 year old to bear. But age means nothing if you still have hope or a dream left. So I say to you, your not unusual with those feelings, its just the "devil" or "negative energy", let your want for goodness defeat it.

Risk=reward

love

talo · 07-17-2009, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Making Myself Feel like I deserve Happiness

The very act of "making myself" is the very act of making myself unhappy. Leaving myself unmade, undefined, not positioned, unlocated, is happiness.

07-17-2009, 12:31 AM	#1
Debbie37 Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 95	Making Myself Feel like I deserve Happiness (self hatred/sabotage) I often semi-unconsciously sabotage my goals and things, and I think a large part of this is due to feeling like I don't deserve to be happy. I do want to be happy and accomplish great things but I also feel like I'm undeserving. I often find myself sabotaging my goals. Its like I'm afraid to be happy. I feel like such a fraud sometimes. Sometimes I think that if people knew the real me they would be repulsed. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on how to overcome self sabotage and feel like I deserve happiness? Has anyone successfully overcome this? Responses appreciated. Thanks

07-17-2009, 12:47 AM	#2
odile Offline Gold Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 962	It's so tempting to tell you that you do deserve happiness, but if you don't believe it in your heart of hearts, then no-one will be able to cheerlead you into believing it. In my opinion, the best thing that you can do for yourself is see if you can find a counselor or therapist with whom you can really open up and talk. If you can hash out some of these feelings, you're likely able to find a way to conquer some of the self-sabotaging tendencies. It has been done, and is certainly doable! p.s. You may not be perfect, but always remember that NOBODY is. As far as any of us can guess, we only have this one life to live, and our time here is short. You owe it to yourself to try to find a way to free yourself and make the most of it.

07-17-2009, 12:48 AM	#3
dolfin Offline Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 29	I HAVE DONE THE SAME THING. I HAve sabotaged the one thing that means everything in my life, because i felt unworthy... more or less... and the feeling of a fraud comes with that. However, that is common as i have learned, yet its too late for me to salvage. The point is, life comes and goes like that. There are illusions, tricks, and blocks in the way of the success we really want, even if they don't appear in tangible ways, but more in the mental capacity. Many of our karmic tests in life can be to learn to accept, receive, and follow through with what we want as well as handle the the things that happen negatively and unexpectedly. My advice, if you still have goals and ambition, pursue them with the love you would have for the companion of your dreams. Go after it, because that is what life is about.. Staying motivated, having goals, and following through. I have sabotaged and have way too much regret for any 25 year old to bear. But age means nothing if you still have hope or a dream left. So I say to you, your not unusual with those feelings, its just the "devil" or "negative energy", let your want for goodness defeat it. Risk=reward love