weakwatershade Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 I recently heard a male friend say he doesn't at all equate love with sex. I am guessing he meant that he could enjoy sex with someone he didn't love. It probably didn't mean he would have no problem not having sex with someone he did love. Opinions guys? Link to comment
retired1 Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 It's possible. In my younger day, a quick one night stand was preferable to getting into a relationship. As I get older, though, the two go hand in hand. No more "wham bam thank you ma'am". Link to comment
civilservant Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 I think he meant the latter, as in he CAN have sex with people without being in love with them. I'm actually the other way, and have to feel something for the other person. Link to comment
mr.mac Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 This might sound crazy, but I really only enjoy sex when it's with someone I love. I've tried one-nighters or casual sex and it never works for me. I feel guilty and confused almost instantly. If I'm feeling that way then I know I shouldn't be doing it. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 It depends on the guy and the person they are sleeping with. My guy would NOT have sex with someone he didnt love, other guys, sleep with girls regardless of if they love them or not. Link to comment
derelict Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 Maybe he just meant that in general people don't have to be in love to have sex. I'm sure he didn't mean that if he was in love, he couldn't have sex: that would be weird though... Personally, I need to feel something but he is probably right in the general sense. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 No I don't equate sex with love. Reason being there is no "spark". I don't enjoy sex without a spark so I don't see any point to having sex without another for the sheer sake of it. I guess there are people out there who have not had the "spark" when being intimate, where two people are so close yet it doesn't feel enough to the point where both are holding each other so tight beacuse thay want to be closer than humanly possible. Maybe thats whats missing. . . Maybe some "many" guys haven't evolved from the need of just spreading thier seed. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 sex is a physical act for me. when you have a mental connection with someone and communicate well, you can make the physical more satisfying though. Link to comment
diabolik Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 sex is a physical act for me. when you have a mental connection with someone and communicate well, you can make the physical more satisfying though. What he said. Link to comment
Cardinal Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 It takes me quite awhile to fall love. Same with friendship. It can take a year or more to develop a good friendship and often takes me a number of months at least before I fall in love. As a result, I typically have sex with a partner before being in love and before having a true lasting friendship. So I don't necessarily equate sex and love. I also don't hold back any of my feelings when I have sex. Whatever I feel, I tend to express sexually, be it love or other emotions. I consider that the natural way of doing things for me. Link to comment
Crush85 Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 I recently heard a male friend say he doesn't at all equate love with sex. I am guessing he meant that he could enjoy sex with someone he didn't love. It probably didn't mean he would have no problem not having sex with someone he did love. Opinions guys? I personally believe that alot of guys out there can enjoy sex with someone they don't love or care about. I believe that most men are carnal - at least to some degree - and since sex is a flesh urge (like hunger), it doesn't take actual love to fufill the need. Link to comment
FortunateOne Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 When I was young I did not, but now as a wiser mature dude I do equate sex with love... That's why I'm abstinent. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 Nope. Very different things. Link to comment
Knead2Know Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 Well I am female and don't equate sex with love, never have, so some women don't equate the two either... Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 sex is a physical act for me. when you have a mental connection with someone and communicate well, you can make the physical more satisfying though. I would never ever date a guy with this attitude. Because I'd miss out on so much if I do. to the OP, I think most men do not equate love with sex. But there are men that need some emotions there to want to have sex, does not have to be full blown love though. Link to comment
furious Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 Sex without love = lust. Sex with love = love and lust. Link to comment
Knotty Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 I have to like someone to have sex because I don't want to give someone pleasure that I don't like. It's more about giving than receiving to me. So for me I would say I don't need to be "in love" but I need to like the woman. Many men probably don't feel the same way. The other thing is, it depends on if you use the definition of love according to women or according to men. Link to comment
weakwatershade Posted July 14, 2009 Author Share Posted July 14, 2009 The other thing is, it depends on if you use the definition of love according to women or according to men. Care to elaborate? Link to comment
greywolf Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 For me, sex has nothing to do with love, but love makes it better. Link to comment
melrich Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 Men: do you equate sex with love? It depends what vantage point you are looking from. If you are in a loving relationship then sex is part of that equation. If it is simply you have sex with someone it equals love then I would say absolutely not. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 Sex and love are two completely different things. Sex is a physical act and love is an emotion. Having sex with a person doesnt mean that you love them. People may want to have sex with a person they love because in their mind it heightens the experience but that doesnt make sex more than just an act. If a person chooses to have sex only when they love a person then there is nothing wrong with that but they wish to elevate sex to something beyond a physical act into some kind of physical manifestation of their feelings. I believe that this is just expressing their deep desire for something more than a physical act, in essence the sex has to mean something more or it doesnt mean anything. I appreciate sex for the physical act that it is and I do expect it to be more than that. I like engaging in the physical act irrespective of the feelings involved. Link to comment
sanadee Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 I recently heard a male friend say he doesn't at all equate love with sex. I am guessing he meant that he could enjoy sex with someone he didn't love. It probably didn't mean he would have no problem not having sex with someone he did love. Opinions guys? i don't. I see no reason to, since sex to me is about pleasure. Link to comment
Knotty Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Care to elaborate? Not really. It just seems that women fall in love quickly with men after having sex with them. For men it is more about familiarity and it takes longer to develop. They actually study what happens in the brain during sex and after having an orgasm. It causes people to be attracted to the person they had sex with. So I think sex can make people fall in love with their partner. It seems like it happens with women more than man though. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 I personally believe that alot of guys out there can enjoy sex with someone they don't love or care about. I believe that most men are carnal - at least to some degree - and since sex is a flesh urge (like hunger), it doesn't take actual love to fufill the need. I won't pretend to know what it is to be a man, cause I'm not. But I know that feeling of being overrun with pure carnal desire - not even having to like a person nor care about them, where it is simply about a physical release. Now I imagine that much stronger - with all that testosterone rushing through a male body - and it makes sense to me that there are plenty of men out there who primarily operate with the mentality you mention. I'm a woman but relate to Melrich's post the most. Sex doesn't equal love to me, but sex can be part of loving someone. It all depends on the viewpoint and mentality you bring to it (or not). Link to comment
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